*TEN* DPO!!!!!

It's the very end of the day at TEN days past ovulation, and I'm still here!!! No bleeding, no spotting, nothing! I can't believe it that I only have to sleep and then I'm at 11 days past ovulation - I can't remember what it feels like to be past 10 days after ovulation without a period or a confirmed pregnancy! With Lydia I was 9DPO when I got a positive test. In fact, actually it has been YEARS! My longest luteal phase before Lydia was 8 days, and with Elijah, I didn't test at all until 17DPO because I had a huge temp drop and bleeding at 7DPO, which I presumed was my period and didn't think about anything else until 10 days later! ;) My longest luteal phase before he was conceived was 6 days. Samuel's positive test came at 11DPO, and the longest luteal phase before him was 10 days. So it really has been a lonnnng time since I have been sitting twiddling my thumbs on the eve of 11DPO with neither a positive test in my hand, nor any sign of my period showing up!

So this morning I had a super duper high temp, which I wasn't expecting! :) I was half expecting it to drop down, but the best I had hoped for was that it would stay on a level with the triphasic, flat-ish temps I had been having. Instead it went UP! So exciting!!! :D I just can't look at my chart and think of any possibility other than I simply MUST be pregnant! :)

BUT, I tested with a 25miU test (not the super sensitive ones) and got a very stark white negative, which was disappointing, and not quite what I'd expected given my temp, and at 10DPO. I have had quite clear positives at 10DPO before (I know every pregnancy is different). I still had the cup of FMU, and just happened to see a test packet at the bottom of the pile (I know that makes it sound like a have a huge stash of pregnancy tests in the cabinet, but I promise my pile is actually just 2 or 3 high now! ;) ), and I thought it was a sneaky super-sensitive test that had been hiding, so I opened it and THEN saw that it was another 25miU test, just not the exact same brand of cheapy stick that I'd been using. Whoops! So since I'd opened it, I dipped it anyway, and that one had a very faint line on it. I am not sure if it is invalid though, because the line is only really visible on one side of the line... It came up within the first 2 or 3 minutes. Shelby, I know it would be "wise" to dip, walk away, come back and read the test, but I LOVE watching pregnancy tests!!! I actually can hardly tear myself away, and I choose to because it's exciting! I love it! Even when it's hard or disappointing, I would still choose to do it again the next day rather than walk away and come back later. I did that once, and felt disappointed to have missed the line develop - like I got the result but not the action, lol! I just don't feel that way about testing. For me it's part of the fun to watch the stick "cook". :)

I managed to get a so-so picture of the test from this morning with the "is it/isn't it" line:



You can barely see it, right? And it's only one "edge" of the line that's visible properly. It's still a line, I think, especially compared with the other test which had NOTHING on it, but I wouldn't call it a positive test, yet... I don't think...  I think there's now an extremely faint grey evaporation line on the stark negative test, but nothing like this one. So, I don't know... I would have expected *something*, however slight, at 10DPO. I don't think I have ever tested negative at 10DPO and then positive later, although I did test negative at 9DPO and positive at 11DPO with Samuel. In hindsight I wish I had tested at 10DPO as well, just to know if a line would have been there yet or not! :) The photo of that positive test from 11DPO is here, if you're interested. I'm encouraged by the fact that it was quite a faint line! :)

So other news for today, before I have to fall over into bed and sleep!...

I had weirdly soft skin this morning, confirmed by Neil when he got home from work, yay! At first he said that one cheek was definitely "pregnant soft", and the other one not quite yet! ;) Both are super soft now though. :) This is a totally pregnant thing for me, as you know. I am having on and off period cramps, and a heavy, full, yucky hot feel in the pit of my abdomen. Some of the cramps are bad enough to be charted as bad cramps, as though my period is arriving and they feel yucky and hot, but they don't last long and are completely gone, or just very mild cramps the next time I stop to think about them, and then they come back again after a bit. I'm charting both mild and bad cramps. Also lots of low backache, nagging and mild, mostly. As I write this I have low backache that makes me want to stretch to try to relieve it, and period-ish pain that's on the mild side, but has a weird sharp quality to it on my left side. Odd! That has been here and then gone, on and off, all day long. When it's gone, it's totally gone. Definitely a pregnancy symptom for me, because pre-period (or when it's actually here too) I never get that.

In other news, I have done something to my foot - the ball of my right foot is throbbing and too painful to put weight on, as of bedtime last night (or maybe earlier?? I can't remember when it started). It swollen and hot which makes me wonder if I broke some little bones in there, but I would SURELY remember that! Anyway, not helping things today! My knees have been hurting for months, but they are particularly bad today because I have had to bear weight differently through my foot to walk about. I can walk but it hurts.

I am still very irritable and being shouty with the boys when they are being difficult. :( I am embarrassed to admit that, even here, and even knowing that it has a hormonal basis, but in the name of honesty and noting everything that's relevant to pregnancy....

I am absolutely definitely "pregnantly" tired out again. Today I also have a headache - quite a bad one actually, which has come on gradually from a tiny "I think I have a headache starting" thing early evening, to "it's quite sore really" at the boys' bedtime, to "urgh, my head really hurts!" now. It's in my eyes, forehead and temples. I have had a lot of sinus headaches lately so maybe it's another of those, but I don't know. I guess it could be a pre-period headache, as it's quite bad. I haven't taken anything for it though. I just took something for it (maybe it will help my foot as well! That kept me awake quite a bit last night!), so hopefully it'll ease off.

I'm very thirsty again today, but I think a bit less so. I have been drinking more though. I am not yet weeing more frequently - sometimes I have been by now, and sometimes not yet, in other pregnancies. I have had heartburn a bit, especially on lying down on my side, at any time of day. It has been a bit sore when nursing today again, and I have definitely had nursing aversion at times today, especially by the end of the day. I have had times where I've just wanted to jerk my top down and say I'm DONE breastfeeding for the day (even in the morning, haha!)!! It is always accompanied by INTENSE irritability, which I've had in abundance (again!!) today. I really never have nursing aversion until I am majorly touched-out and sleep-deprived, but it's VERY common for me when I'm pregnant, even from very early on like this. So I'm noting it because I think it is a pregnancy symptom.

I have been checking my underwear often today, because of the occasional proper period pain, but there is not a spot of pink in sight, even now right before going to bed for the night at TEN DPO!!! :D I am still not sure what to make of the negative test though... I have ordered a pack of 2 First Response tests, but they won't be here for at least a couple of days, so not much point really. I can't drive off to a chemist and buy one, but maybe I can get Neil to pick one up?? Should have thought of that today, d'oh! Oh well.

What else?... I have had some dizziness with the tiredness/tired eyes thing since late afternoon, so I am charting that. Also a weird stabbing pain that flashed on, held for 2 or 3 seconds, and then disappeared again, inside my right hip, about an inch above my pubic bone. Not a little twinge, but a deep, stop-what-I'm-doing-and-focus-on-it pain. And then gone, just like that. Odd, so noting it. I thought the gassiness was improving but it's back again this evening, lol! Oh well! ;)

I think that's it. I have to hang up some washing that is just finishing a spin cycle, throw another load in to wash overnight, and hit my pillow. So wiped out! I am almost nervous about the morning - in a good, exciting way, not a debilitating miserable kind of nervous! :) I can't imagine my temp will stay up as high as it was this morning, seriously. That surprised me! I would hope it might stay at the triphasic level.... If it drops right down then I think that is that. But at least I will have a 10 day luteal phase this cycle!! Which I am thrilled about! :) I did have perfect conditions for a good temp this morning - I was snuggled up so warm in my covers that I was overheating, and my mouth was clamped shut, lol! ;) Waking out of the covers or mouth breathing tomorrow might change my chart a little! OH! I almost forgot - I woke from a vivid and weird dream!!! Never have those, but it's almost something I can count on in very early pregnancy (and the rest of it, now I think about it!).

Hopefully I'll be able to get an accurate temp, and maybe test again if things look promising. I'm almost nervous about that too - what if I temp and it looks good to test again, but I STILL get a negative result? At 9 or even 10DPO that's disappointing but there's still hope that it's just a bit too early. By 11DPO, not so much. I really don't want to use my only Clearblue Digital because I feel all nostalgic about that test stick - it's part two of a two pack that I bought to get my positive test for Lydia's pregnancy, and I'd love to use its partner to test positive for another baby! :) I only want to use it if I'm sure it will be confirming a pregnancy. I will just have to wait and see what my temp is in the morning and go from there.

I'll update asap!

P.S. Sander, I love the name Lily (Lydia has started pronouncing her name Lily (she's trying to say "Lydie"!!) but Neil's sister is called Lilian and he likes to have first names that aren't people we are close to already. Sweet name though! :)

9DPO - nine!!!

I'm nine days past ovulation! After 11pm! Without a period!!! Woohoo!!!

And not only did my temp NOT drop, and not only is my chart still triphasic, but my temp actually went up a bit today! It was my highest one this cycle! I was so excited to see it this morning. I tested using first morning urine. I dipped both a "regular" sensitivity test stick (which I have always used in the past), and my last super-sensitive test stick. Both were negative. I saw shadowy lines which came up within the first 2-3 minutes, but yeah I am feeling "done" with shadowy lines, and no longer sure whether to trust them as anything but a total negative, so... The tests I've been using all this time have been the super-sensitive ones, so I'm giving them up and sticking with the good old less sensitive 25miU tests from now on. I have a couple of those left, and a Clearblue digital, in the bathroom cabinet. The line on the 25miU test is still visible tonight, though it's barely there, and I don't remember seeing ANYTHING on those ones before, so we'll see. I am definitely calling it negative though - it's negative for sure. I felt a BIT discouraged about the possibility of pregnancy with the negative tests at 9DPO (I've had a clear positive at this stage before), but then I remembered Samuel again, and how I had a stark negative at 9DPO. So I just decided to stop thinking about it and wait until tomorrow. I felt like 24 hours was AGES to wait, lol! But the day has gone quite quickly, and now I only have to sleep to find out what will happen next! :)

Other news from today:

I am back to crazy banshee-woman irritable. I have shouted at my kiddies, and feel horrible about the grumpy mummy they've had to put up with today. They have been faaaaaaar from innocent, believe me - really difficult little people today! ;) Hence the banshee-woman. *sigh* But even so, it has to be said that I am ridiculously irritable, definitely on a level with a few days ago. Now I think of it, just like the pattern I've had before in pregnant luteal phases... A few days of crazy hormones (somewhere between 2 and 6 days past ovulation), then a few calmer days, and then another round of crazy. Interesting...

Also discovered at 12.30pm that I was shaking and weak with hunger! Not stomach growling, just like a blood sugar crash. I get those a lot in pregnancy, if I wait too long to eat, or sometimes even when it's not even time to eat yet, when I am doing a lot inside physically re. baby-growing! I had to go and make myself lunch before even making the children's, as fast as I could. I ate cheese sandwiches, and crisps, and shakily spooned a huge bowlful of cream of leek and potato soup into my mouth, and homemade banana cake, and then I wasn't shaky any more, but I still had some room (this is a WAY bigger appetite than my norm!) so I ate a rather large slice of chocolate cheesecake! I am so hooked on creamy indulgent desserts! Not my norm either, and I usually rarely eat them, but right now I am indulging daily. *blush*

A couple of hours after lunch, a new type of fatigue kicked in, which I was saying yesterday I hadn't had yet. Definitely hormonal tiredness. Either because I'm getting a period, or because I am pregnant. No way it's anything else - and I am well-experienced in types of fatigue! This is a specific (and very familiar) kind of exhausted. I managed okay though, but by 5pm I had to lie on the living room floor with little ones climbing on me, and it was so hard to keep my eyes open. I dozed lightly, on and off, and randomly breastfed (!!) while I lay there for about 45 minutes before I could pull myself together and make a cup of tea to give me a boost for making dinner! I haven't had to do that for a long time, even with being really sleep deprived. It's a different kind of tiredness, for me. I quite liked the feeling because of the nostalgia it gave me for my past pregnancies! :) I used to clock up a lot of hours lying clapped out on the living room floor, lol! ;)

I have had some heartburn and reflux AGAIN today - so unusual for me to have this daily now!

I still have that is it/isn't it a sore throat thing, without anything developing from it as yet. It doesn't feel viral anyway, and it's more scratchy/uncomfy than anything else.

I continue to be super thirsty all the time. Being paranoid I started to wonder about sugar crashes, tiredness and extreme thirst... but I'm not weeing frequently yet, and in any case, I have blogged these symptoms several times in previous pregnancies early on (no gestational diabetes), so it's probably just normal pregnancy stuff for me.

I really have no doubt that I am pregnant. I have had some period-like cramps today for the first time, but they have come and gone. This even I had some really sharp stabbing twinge-like pains that flashed on and off. Some were in my left lower abdomen, where I had some pains at 5DPO (implantation), but others were bizarrely in my um... undercarriage (!!!), like having a sudden needle to the nether-regions or even one or two almost felt like cervical pain - though I can't remember clearly enough if the feeling was accurate for that...

The only thing I have doubt about is whether or not I will STAY pregnant. My track record so far isn't great, and either it will go the same way this time, or it won't. So I have to just take each day as it comes. My chart is so pretty and pregnant, and I love looking at it and seeing the nice triphasic rise and the line continuing up up up, right now. But I know that tomorrow the line could drop right down. Or a bit down. Either way, it could all disappear away again, and I could start bleeding by this time tomorrow, and that's the end of that. I totally trust God on it. He is in control, and I'm so thankful I can leave it with him! :)

I forgot to reply to a couple of comments recently - I will post more photos at the main blog, yes! :) I have already had a not-so-nice comment on the first post I've made in ages, unfortunately. I am hormonally charged and defensive, so have written another post tonight in answer. :/ It has really put me off continuing my intention to write posts about the children right now. I will have to think about it. I do intend to update again, but I will see. I don't want to make the blog private, so... But thanks for the nice comments! :)

Also, someone asked about the name Georgia. I did consider it this time, because it used to be my favourite right back at the beginning! :) I still love it, but the middle name for a girl would be Averil (Neil's mum) and some of the other names go better. Also, Neil says he thinks Georgia sounds too much like George with an 'a' on the end, so quite a masculine name (?!), and after all these boys we really want girly girly names if we have another girl! :) Lydia fitted the bill nicely in that sense. Also if we had a Georgia, the last 3 children would be Elijah, Lydia, and Georgia, and they're all "ah" at the end. I like the fact that it's a letter 'G' - without thinking about it, I am doing the opposite of the Duggars, haha! All my children's names start with a different letter of the alphabet, and now that we have this many, I think I would like to continue that if possible! I am still considering names starting with letters we've already used though - so it's not absolutely set in stone that we'll do that.

Okay, I must get to bed. I am having a last-minute moment of doubt over whether my temp will still be up in the morning - maybe I am sub-consciously aware that my hormones are shifting? I think I read into things too much and should just go to sleep! ;) I haven't got as far as 10DPO in years! Lydia was conceived over 2 years ago, and that was the last time! :) If I get my period, it'll be a 9 day luteal phase, and that's improvement, even if it's only by one day - I'll take it! :) If not, I will test, you know I will! :) I will update in the morning if I can, otherwise later in the day. Thanks for hanging in there with me! :)

8DPO - Triphasic!!!

Triphasic, triphasic, my chart's triphaaasic!!! I did a little dance in the bathroom once I was out of the sight of children! ;) I KNOW it could still all disappear, but I can't seem to help myself, I'm just SO EXCITED this cycle! :D

My temp has now been up at the raised (after the evening of bad cramps) level for 3 days in a row, so that makes my chart triphasic, which is really really REALLY pregnant of me. ;) The bad cramps have always been an absolute pregnancy symptom anyway, but last cycle for the first time, I had bad cramps in my luteal phase and I didn't feel that I was pregnant. So my confidence is shaken on that symptom being a dead cert, but even so, it's probably like 98% likely to be a symptom caused by pregnancy than something else, so that's encouraging too! :)

The other great thing about my temp this morning is that it was 36.71, exactly the same temp as yesterday's! They were already pretty flat, but you can't get much more so than that (yet another pregnancy sign for me)! :)

So I wasn't planning to test. I went to the bathroom and hesitated for a while, sort of willing myself to just PEE already and then I would no longer have my FMU to tempt me, lol! But in the end I gave in, and tested. *sigh* I wish I had more willpower! At 8DPO I am unlikely to see anything anyway, and waiting until tomorrow would have been better. I saw a shadowy line, fat and with some hint of colour, which came up within 2-3 minutes (on the test I've got, you have to read it between 5 and 10 minutes, and discard any results that come up after 10 mins). Normally I would get all excited about that. I still see it tonight when I look at the stick. BUT, I have had so many of these shadowy lines, even though I have had some chemical pregnancies where it was just too early to get a clear positive - so maybe they were positives? I could photograph the lines.... But after so many, ending in a period, I have begun to second guess, and wonder if that's just the way negative looks on those tests? It's annoying if so, because it's a LINE! And a line (in the right time-frame, which it always has been) is a line, right? Urgh. Anyway, so I am calling it a negative, and waiting to see what tomorrow's temp is.

Tomorrow I will be NINE days past ovulation!! I've reached that on the last 3 cycles, but my period has arrived that day on all of them. So far, my temp has dropped on the morning of 9DPO (except last cycle where it was already low-ish anyway! Such wacky temps last cycle!), followed by bleeding later. I'm kind of breathless with anticipation over tomorrow morning's temp! Repeat the cycle with a drop in temp? Or the temp stays up, which gives me a) hope of pregnancy (yay!), or b) hopefully a longer luteal phase than last time! :) I soooooooo hope my temp stays up tomorrow! I'm kind of nervous! I will be disappointed if it drops, because I will expect bleeding to follow, and well, that's a shame. :( This morning I woke up when it was already light, with a dry DRY mouth and almost jumped in a panic because I knew it meant I had been mouth-breathing, which would TOTALLY skew my temp, dropping it down as though I was getting a pre-period drop (when it otherwise wouldn't have)! Thankfully, I glanced around me and saw sleeping little people everywhere, so I shut my eyes (and my mouth, lol!) and went back to sleep quick! ;) When they woke me, I was able to temp accurately. I'm anxious that I'll wake mouth-breathing tomorrow, but with AWAKE children around me, so I will have to temp and get up! I say it every time, but I hate this stage with the One (or two, sometimes) Very Important Day to get an accurate temp.

Today has been mostly uneventful, symptom wise. I feel quite neutral, although I have that "something's afoot" feeling deep inside. Funnily enough, it's quite common for me in my pregnancies, to have a very "absolutely nothing is happening! I don't feel pregnant at all!" feeling between 7 and 9 DPO - I remember Lydia's and Nathan's being like this, but I'm sure some of the others were too.

I am mildly crampy on and off again today. Sometimes the crampy feeling is quite sore, but it really only lasts for little bursts (minutes) and then goes off, and comes back again later. It's across the whole of my lower abdomen between my hips (just above my pubic bone) but it doesn't feel like period pain, quite. It does radiate through to my lower back which is giving me backache more than usual at the moment. I have a sensation that I can't describe in words, it's physical but there's no actual sensation description. In the pit of my abdomen I feel like... something is going on. I would say it's like a sensation of a slightly weighted ball in there, but without the feeling of shape definition that a ball has (I told you I couldn't describe it, lol!). Sometimes I feel uncomfortable like I slightly might need to have a BM, but it's not in the right place, it's in front of that - I am guessing it's uterine in nature, and hopefully pregnancy related! :) I have that sensation right now actually.

One thing I usually have by now if I'm pregnant, is some sort of breast symptoms - I think? Maybe it's a bit later with some of my pregnancies... Anyway I have none of that so far. Yesterday or the day before it was sore to nurse, but it's not too bad now. Elijah and Lydia are breastfeeding CRAZY much. Or asking to, even if I say no. Lydia has been a little more whiney and clingy today and yesterday, than she usually is. All my little nurslings have done that when I was newly pregnant, so I'm taking that as a good sign! ;)

I still have a ridiculously sweet tooth and yearnings for high fat, high sugar food! (I say this whilst eating my second slice of chocolate cheesecake of the day! ;) ) I have no nausea, and my appetite is good. I am still more irritable than usual, but it must be better than it was, because the last few days have been much more manageable. I was super irritable from 2-5DPO, exactly the same as one or two of my other pregnancies, and then I had a break for a few days and then another bout of irritability. In other pregnancies I was "insanely irritable" (!!) at different times, but all in the same kind of time frame (eg. 4-6DPO).

Neil phoned me today from work, to see what my temp was! :) I told him my chart was triphasic, and he sounded excited! He said, "So you think it's a boy?" and I said I only had one day of protein craving (which made me think maybe I was pregnant with a boy), but nothing since, so who knows. He said, "I was kind of hoping it might be a girl... for Lydie's sake at least!" ;) It would be nice for her to have a sister, and I would LOVE that for her! But brothers are wonderful, especially baby brothers! :D I have prayed and prayed for another daughter, but I will be overjoyed with a son. I suddenly was concerned about something for the first time though - the boys have now had the experience of a baby girl, and they are absolutely besotted! They frequently (especially the oldest 3) comment that it would be so lovely if we had another baby girly, because Lydie is so lovely, and "TWO baby girlies would be so sweeeeet!" :) I feel the same! I hope so much that if we have a boy, the children won't be disappointed. They've never been anything but thrilled and excited about each of our babies on the way - gender has never been an issue for them. This time, though, if it's a boy, maybe they'll say they wish it was a girl... I think that would make me feel sad to hear, even if I totally understand, because I'll be carrying that little boy that they're wishing away, and will kind of "feel it" for him... Silly, and probably hormonally so, but anyway! It just occurred to me today, that's all.

One of the first things Neil did when he got home (late - he had to stay late tonight to fix a problem, urgh! Poor man worked 11 hours, with a 2 hour drive either side!!) was to stroke my cheeks to see if my skin was "weirdly soft" (something I chart, because it's a sure sign for me). He is my official skin tester! :P Anyway, he said, "Hmmm... not yet, but getting there!" :)

Oh! One other thing that is really pregnant of me, is that I am absolutely out of puff going up the stairs, or trying to talk on the phone and walk about the house at the same time! I know that sounds daft, but even this early in my pregnancies, that's one thing that's common to all of them. I get out of breath really quickly, and I usually notice it first when I find myself out of breath at the top of the stairs. I didn't yesterday (I remember going up at a jog and feeling fine at the top, and thinking, "Hmmm, not breathless then!" before going to do whatever it was I was up there for!), but today I went upstairs for something and was SO EXCITED to be puffing for air at the top! When Neil phoned me today, the kiddies were being noisy around me, so I closed the living room door and walked about in the hallway and kitchen while talking to him. Again, SO EXCITED (and I told him so!) that I was having to pause in things I was saying to catch my breath properly! :D Eeeeee, whatever happens, this is so pregnant of me! I feel properly pregnant right at this time! Whatever happens... I look out of the window and see blossom and flowers and bright green new leaves, and birds, and just NEW LIFE everywhere, and it makes something inside me leap for joy because as well as just observing it, I feel that I am actually participating in it this year! :) Such blessing!

Well, I think I had better go to bed. It's way too late, and I am tired. I am not yet "pregnant tired"... we'll see how things go. I can't wait to find out my temp in the morning, and I will go from there. If it's up, I MAY test, but I am not sure... I have had a very stark white negative test at 9DPO with Samuel's pregnancy, and I was so discouraged that I didn't bother testing at 10DPO, but when my temp was still up at 11DPO I tested and got a positive! :) So even if I am pregnant, and I test tomorrow, I may not get a positive. So maybe I'll wait... Maybe. I have very bad willpower when it comes to these things, so maybe not, lol! ;) If my temp drops that will save me the decision.

I wrote a post at my arthursmummy blog, at LAST!!! It has the family photo that I posted here, and another one from this month that doesn't have Neil in it (he was taking the photo). I love that one because my littles look so precious, and I love seeing their heights since they are standing. :) Love my baby girly looking so grown up and adorable too! Otherwise it's just a pre-cursor to the posts I plan to write, with a bit of an update on our house move and such. If you're interested, that is. :)

I will update tomorrow! Thanks for the comments (and ELLA!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!! :D )

7DPO - names, just for fun! :)

I know I am getting waaaay ahead of myself (only 7DPO with no guarantee of a positive test ahead!), but Katie asked about names, and so I couldn't help myself looking! ;) Also, I have randomly found myself browsing maternity clothes on eBay, which I haven't done in years. I haven't bought maternity clothes in a long long time, but I just thought I'd have a little look-see! ;)

Here is my current list of names that I like (not yet seen by Neil, and will drastically be shortened once he's seen it, lol!):

Boy:

Charlie
Daniel
Toby
Joshua
Josiah
William



Girl:

Maisie
Isabelle/Isabella
Sophie
Charlotte
Josie
Hannah
Grace (Gracie)
Rosalie
Ivy
Rose

I am sure I will add more names, but these are the first ones I've seen and like. :)

My temp stayed UP this morning, in the "triphasic" range! One more temp that high and I'll have a triphasic chart!! :D I don't know why... I am just SO EXCITED this cycle! Even if it comes to nothing (though I will naturally be disappointed), I am really excited about the possibility of being blessed again! :) Such hope, and joy!

I am mildly crampy, on and off today. Still feeling irritable/PMS-y, and headacheyLast night's dinner left me with a bit of a bitter aftertaste, which both thrills me (only have that when pregnant), and doesn't (reminds me of how yucky things got for seemingly eternal weeks! :/ ). I am nervous about coping with the daily grind with overwhelming nausea for many weeks on end... but I know it will go faster than ever this time (the older I am, the faster the weeks fly by, apparently!), and it'll be soooooooo worth it! :) Eager to temp in the morning, though still too early to test at 8DPO.

6DPO

I haven't got anywhere at all on kiddy updates yet. I have plans to! :) It might take me a while... Here's a family photo taken this month by Nicola's hubby (I met Nicola in bloggyland and now we live really near to her!), to keep you going! :) Ages ago, last time I posted a photo of my children, "anonymous" asked when we were going to cut Matthew's hair already. *sigh* So rude! To pre-empt any such questions: No, not planning to cut it off. Yes, I trim/tidy it now and then. Because he wants it long. Yes, he's very boyish - actually, he is the most "typical boy" of the bunch. Nope, neither he nor I care whether he has long hair or not. My brother's was once longer than mine, in our teens! ;) It's very normal to me. It's HIS hair after all! Neil's family are more "*gasp* Long hair is for girls!" *sigh* But Neil is coping so far. ;)

The children, from left to right, are: Benjamin (5), Arthur (10), Samuel (4), Lydia (17 months), Nathan (7), Matthew (8), Elijah (2). My precious gifts from God! :)

I actually wrote this entry last night, at 5DPO, but I was so tired and had interruptions with Lydia waking and such. So I ended up having to go to bed before I could post anything, and I'm finishing it tonight at 6DPO.

I am now 6 days past ovulation, and really feeling pregnant. I had a weird craving at just 2DPO - obviously the whole world would say that's WAY too early for symptoms, I mean, there's no implantation yet. I know people who have symptoms right from ovulation. I don't think I have ever had symptoms right from ovulation, but I FOR SURE have had symptoms which, for me, are indicative of something going on, from 2/3 days after ovulation, most of the cycles that I've been pregnant. Actually true. And I have had enough experience/conceptions to back it up (including chemical pregnancies, about 20 - though I haven't counted them up as such. Probably more than 20. Which is a bit mind-blowing in itself!). I haven't had those symptoms when not pregnant, after ovulation. I definitely do get "pregnancy" symptoms early so I don't discount anything unusual (or familiar from other pregnancies, including chemical pregnancies) in the first week after ovulating. I write extensive notes (!!) in my private log at my chart, with definite TMI for sharing here! ;) But I am glad that I do because in the past I have been able to copy and paste a few days or a week later, to confirm what I then know. :)

So, at 2DPO (4 days ago) I wrote, simply: "Noticably increased appetite. Flash craving this morning for authentic French restaurant poulet and frites (chicken and chips/fries), like when I was a little girl. Pregnant." ;)

By flash craving (my own term), I mean a sudden, out-of-the-blue, intense sensation of a specific food actually as though it's IN my mouth at that moment. It isn't the same thing as a craving in terms of something I WANT so badly that I must have it. I often don't want it at all, I'm just taken by surprise at the intensity and realistic sensation - that can end up making me crave that food sometimes though, but never at the start. I can taste it completely, or sometimes the flash craving is of a texture as I am biting down on it. Those are 100% undeniably pregnancy symptoms for me. I had that with the texture and taste of a raw mushroom with Matthew at 9DPO (I thought it was earlier, but I checked my blog and it was 9DPO). I know I had it with one of the others, earlier than 9DPO, but I can't remember which pregnancy. I can't find it in my blog for any of my babies, so maybe it was one of my chemical pregnancies - I haven't checked the blog for those yet.

I know it's "too early" at 2DPO, but it's SUCH a pregnant thing, for me.

Not much to report at 3DPO, but at 4DPO I had a huge appetite again, and some hormonal spots on my face. Also have had my "pregnant" CM for a few days now. I was suddenly ridiculously irritable and moody at 4DPO - waaay out of the ordinary sleep-deprived (or even normal hormonal) irritable... I'm less tolerant of noise or trouble (disobeying, lying, talking back especially), and am suddenly flipping out angry, which I really dislike! :/ Having read back all my 2WW blog entries from my other pregnancies, it seems like that's totally normal for me if I'm pregnant! ;) Even though it's not normal for me otherwise. I don't think I had it with Arthur, and one of my other pregnancies. All the rest though, I was commenting on how AWFUL my PMS was, and if I was pregnant, I was worried that I'd continue to be this moody! ;) It didn't last, every time, which is reassuring!

The main thing that made me connect my recent moodiness with pregnancy wasn't my blog, it was Neil. I have been snappy with the children, and on Friday when Neil came home from work, I was so irritable over some tiny minor thing, and he was cheerfully suggesting I calm down, and I shouted at him to "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!!!!" which I NEVER EVER do (I was inwardly actually quite shocked to hear it come out of my mouth, lol!). There was a pause, and he said, "When can you test?" hahaaa! He knows - the man has experience! ;) :P That was the first moment of realisation that my mood was BAD, and that the BAD mood was very pregnant of me! ;) I apologised, but it was really hard to rein in the snappiness (and I failed a lot) after that, even having been made aware of it. The next day (5DPO) was just as bad! Twice I was grumpy with Neil, and the first time when I went back to apologise, he said, "This is pregnancy - exactly what you've been like before." The second time, he just grinned and said, "You are SO pregnant!" :) He's a good man!

5DPO, when I wrote most of this entry above, I was watching my temps because after that spike the day after I ovulated, I did have a fallback to 36.5ish, and then all the subsequent temps were 36.5-something or just below, so pretty much flat temps. Before I used a fertility thermometer, I didn't get to chart temps with the second decimal place, so flat temps were just the same temp every day in a line. For me, flat temps are most often in my pregnancy charts, not my non-pregnant cycles. Years ago, with my first few babies, I was excited to see flat temps at this stage because I wrote that it was "very pregnant of me"! If I was using a normal thermometer like I used to back then, I would have probably had flat temps - the same temperature each day - for the past 4 days, which is very encouraging! :) You can see on my chart that the temp line is a bit wiggly but otherwise very stable from 2-5DPO. I was going to write last night that I was interested to see my temp in the morning. This morning I had a temp jump! :) Up to 36.75, highest temp yet this cycle!

I was mostly curious about today's temp, because late yesterday afternoon, having had no twinges or implantation type pains, or bad cramping or anything (just the odd mild crampiness here and there), I had a sudden "boring" pain just off-centre to my left, about an inch above my pubic bone. I pressed on it to try and relieve the sensation (didn't work), and remarked to Neil about it, because it was so distinct and distracting. I wondered straight away about implantation, because of how it felt. It went away after a bit, but then during the evening I felt some cramping again, quite bad for me in my luteal phase, but in one spot on one side - same exact place as the sudden boring pain from earlier. For the rest of the evening, I had pain of some sort - most of the time still that "boring" pain, but it radiated through to my lower back (which was really quite painful in general, when I walked about and went on with normal activities), and later even radiated to my front thigh on that side. Definitely charting bad cramps at 5DPO, and I had a lot of backache yesterday too.

I was up so late (eating chocolate eclairs, lol! Haven't had them in YEARS, but told Neil when he went to the supermarket to pick up some things, that I needed some eclairs and chocolate! He's so patient and sweet with me!). Anyway, I wrote on my FF chart notes before I went to bed, that I had been "curled up in a ball on the sofa - proper bad cramps across my lower abdomen, like a period, but a bit sharper... almost feels like maybe something is up with my bladder/bowel but neither of those locations seems right. It's burny, searing, boring, bruisey, all at once. Also, if I touch or lightly press on my pubic bone slightly right of centre, it feels like I am pressing a bruise. Pregnant. :P"

The bruised pubic bone sensation is aaaaabsolutely a pregnancy symptom, nothing else, ever. I feel 100% sure I'm pregnant. I am just hoping to keep this little one. Enjoying the experience of each day though, as it comes. :)

I was excited to see my temp jump this morning because it would seem appropriate for it to jump up if implantation started yesterday. Implantation, for me, is always 4-7DPO somewhere, so this is right on time. I am excited to see  now if my temps stay up at a triphasic level, or drop back down. I love a pretty triphasic chart, and I haven't had one for a few babies, so I would love to see one again! :)

A couple of other things worth noting are the typical pregnant extreme gassiness *blush* :) And I have been aware of the physical sensation of reflux (nice!) every day since 4DPO. No actual heartburn with it, which I rarely get now, unless I'm pregnant, but it's not all that often I feel reflux happening, and it happened late at night at 4DPO and again at 5DPO so it was worth nothing as unusual. Today I had actual heartburn at a very random time of day (mid-morning! Unusual!), and have reflux and heartburn this evening.

So that brings me to today, 6DPO! :) My throat is gritty/scratchy and *almost* a sore throat, but not quite. It has been like that since 3 or 4DPO, and I haven't been anywhere to catch a cold, and nobody has one here. I do have hayfever, so I put it down to that at first. My throat feels so dry and tickly, and I am super thirsty all the time. My eyes are dry and stingy too, and I am drinking more than usual these past few days. I thought nothing of that until I was looking through my previous pregnancies for the moody thing, and saw lots of mention of "is it/isn't it a sore throat" as a symptom - it's common enough to be a search option on the chart gallery at Fertility Friend! I have had it before several pregnancies, as a definite pregnancy symptom, and I forgot that, so maybe the scratchy throat is nothing to do with central heating or the time of year! :)

I am still irritable today, but I have managed myself better with my family, I think! :) I have had mild-to-bad cramping on and off today. Always through to lower back, and at one point through to my left buttock when I was sitting with my knees drawn up - same as last night really. I could even chart bad cramps probably, but I cant' remember the day well enough now to be sure (11pm and I fell asleep putting Lydia to bed, so groggy and tired!). Really tired today. Which is suspicious in itself! ;) Sore when nursing a bit today, for the first time this cycle, especially after breastfeeding for a long time (little two nursing a LOT today - they actually have been for a few days, which is another thing I read a lot of in my blog about previous pregnancies... hmmm!). I have had a bit of a headache today, but that might be sinusy because of a bit of hayfever, I guess.

So, I am going to fall into bed now - so tired! Monday tomorrow, and a new week begins. I feel tired just thinking about it! Hopefully I'll get enough sleep, and not wake up with the covers off and my mouth open, lol! I hate when I wake up to temp and there are factors that skew my temperature accuracy going on! I have 3 days until my period would be "due" - at 9DPO, since that's when my period has started the last 3 cycles, so FF has me due that day. I would so hope that I might get a day more in my luteal phase this cycle though... I would like it to lengthen a bit!

I will update tomorrow hopefully! Depending on being able to stay awake to update! :)

Waiting to ovulate...

Just a quick post to say that I'm on CD20 now, and haven't ovulated yet. I have had EWCM for TEN days straight, lol! Craaaazy! ;) So it seems like I am definitely gearing up to ovulate. Tonight I have some possible ovulation pain, but I'm beginning to doubt my ability to read my body's signals now - I was sure I had ovulation pain at least twice during the past 10 days! Along with the bad cramps in my non-pregnant luteal phase last cycle... I will just wait and see!

I had an anonymous comment last entry that just said, "Let's hear about the children you already have! :) " so I thought I would address that quickly! This is a pregnancy blog, specifically for pregnancy (and new baby) related waffling. I do sometimes write about my other little ones, but I used to write about all other things to do with motherhood and such, at my "main" blog (arthursmummy.blogspot.com). But it has been neglected for a LONG time now. I just don't have time to keep up with it, sadly! :( If I ever update here about my other children, I always have the guilts about it, like I'm cheating on my other blog, haha! ;) I should post a proper blog entry there, and leave a link here when I have done so... I am not sure if I will get around to it though - it's awful to say, because I should keep a record of life better than I do! But I just am swamped and have no time. I might do an update here instead, just quickly, about the kiddies. I am not sure, I will think about it before I write here next time. Thanks for your interest! But PLEASE do use a name, when you comment - anonymous always sets me on edge, because, well, I don't know why. It's just friendlier to identify yourself. :)

I will see what my temp is in the morning. Waiting for it to rise to indicate that I have ovulated, but every day it is still low! Nice and steady at the moment though, my low temps. I'll update again soon! :)

New cycle again.

I left my chart up for a few days after I started bleeding, because it has taken 3 days for my temp to drop, so I wasn't sure it was my period for sure. It even went up before it went down, lol! Now it has finally dropped this morning, and I am on CD4 - my period is easing off a bit now.

I didn't really feel pregnant, and my temps were definitely what I'd expect to see when pregnant - they were so up and down, and none of them were all that high. But I can now say that I guess I can no longer rely on bad cramps as a 100% definite pregnancy sign in my luteal phase, as I have finally had my first ever occurrence of bad cramps in my LP without pregnancy. Unless I had conceived without ever having the confirmation, but I'll never know - and it seems likely that I hadn't. First time though.

It would have been a December baby, which, if I'm honest, rather made me anxious! Christmas preparations wipe me out, and since Samuel's arrival on December 21st (4 years ago), it has been really stressful to fit everything in, and I am extremely sleep deprived (like 2 hours a night, lol!) in the run up to Christmas and his birthday. I was getting nervous about adding another newborn to Christmas, and also another birthday to prepare in the weeks before Christmas each year. That sounds so ungrateful now I read it back! :( I would have loved a newborn for Christmas - LOVED. I'm just being honest about the anxieties!

My cycle was only 24 days long!! I ovulated nice and "early", for me anyway, and then had an 8 day luteal phase, so it's a short cycle. I'm not excited that this is my 3rd 8 day luteal phase in a row. :/ It makes it seem like it isn't going to lengthen, and thus will never be capable of sustaining a pregnancy... I shouldn't be paranoid, there's time! But I'm used to a little extra length each cycle, even just one day longer each time. No change for 3 cycles doesn't make me feel at ease...

With a cycle that short, I think if I have a similar ovulation time this cycle, and we happen to have parsnips in the fertile window, I would *still* have a December due date, lol! Somewhere around New Year's Eve, probably. *panics* ;) It doesn't look like my cycles are fertile enough at the moment in any case.

I will still update with ovulation news when I have some though! :)

Long overdue update!

I have been soooo laid-back this cycle that I haven't really thought to get around to updating my blog! Then I checked my last entry, and whoops - I never actually closed off my last cycle here. Sorry, if anyone was wondering! That was a week or so ago, and I actually started a draft entry on the 16th (a week ago today) which only went as far as:

"Sorry again, for not updating for closure on the last cycle. I'm bad at that, I guess. No, the tests were not faulty. I still have the ones from last cycle and the positive is clear enough for me to see, fainter the night before, fainter the day after, and then a negative. I was definitely pregnant. My period was REALLY heavy, for me. It also completely wiped me out and I felt unwell and shaky and faint the first day - maybe just the heaviness? After that it was more like a normal period, though still heavier than my usual. And I was okay with it, this time. I felt a bit sad, but you know. God knows what He is doing!"

So that updates the last cycle! :)

I can't believe I am already this far into my next cycle without an update here yet! I feel strangely guilty! ;)

My cycles are becoming more normal than I expected them to be after all that long year of waiting to ovulate (thinking I might never do so again) which is thrilling! :) I had 6 days of EWCM starting on CD11 (gasp! That's almost pre-children normal for me! Except for the 6 days thing. That's more potentially fertile days than I used to have.), and then I ovulated on CD16 - SIXTEEN!!! The earliest I've ovulated for... years, I think! Actually a completely "normal" time for a woman to ovulate! Yay! :D

There was no parsnips before I ovulated, not because we were avoiding it, but because we had my grandparents to stay over the weekend that I ovulated, and the days leading up to it were an exhausting blur of house-cleaning and the usual daily things (exhausting as they are, especially for Neil with his 2 hour commute to London, starting at 4.30am, urgh!). He took Monday off though, to recover, and you know... Monday morning... ;) So I either have zero percent chance of pregnancy, due to the egg only surviving up to 24 hours after ovulation, if we missed that window, or a really great chance of pregnancy, due to "perfect" timing of parsnips and freshly ovulated egg, hehe!

I can't isolate the hour I ovulated, so I just don't know which way it is for me this time around, but I had lots of EWCM until the afternoon of the Sunday, and then suddenly less of it. Apparently that can be a sign that ovulation has taken/is taking place. I had some ovulation type pain that afternoon/evening, but I can't remember the specifics on time now. Then, Monday morning I temped on waking as usual, and got a raised temp that is in my usual post-ovulation range, which surprised me! I did have that "overly warm" feel that I usually do after I ovulate, so in that sense it didn't surprise me, but otherwise I wasn't really expecting to see it. I thought maybe I would ovulate on the Monday. So the temp is a pretty certain thing for me, though I can have the odd rogue temp like that when I haven't yet ovulated (apparently, of late). BUT the higher temps were sustained after that, so I guess I did ovulate on Sunday. BUT (again, lol!), ALL of Monday morning and up to early afternoon, I had the most awful ovulation pain. I don't think I have had ovulation pain that bad before. It was so distracting, and seemed to be on both sides instead of just one like usual. I thought I had "done something" (and it was before the parsnips, so it wasn't to do with that), strained a muscle, or something, but it was definitely ovulation pain. It completely disappeared by mid-afternoon. So maybe I ovulated later than Sunday?! :/ Sunday night? So the temp was up by the morning but the pain, etc. was still lingering? If so, then Monday morning parsnips would be very good timing.

I remembered something I once read online when we only had boys and I was sometimes posting the nub pics of their ultrasounds at ingender.com, or whatever it's called. People talking about the O+12 method - I had already come across it, but I remembered it last week again. There's a theory (tried, tested, and apparently 90% success rate) that if you time the only parsnips you have in that cycle, for 12 hours AFTER ovulation, you are way more likely to conceive a girl. ;) A mother of 8 sons tried it, after following the now-debunked Shettles method for a girl (by which I have myself two sons, incidentally - not that I was trying it, just that was how the timing worked out on those particular cycles). She researched herself, and decided to try something new, timing parsnips for 12 hours after ovulation, to catch the egg in its last few hours. And behold, she had a daughter! ;) Since then there has been a high "success" rate (I say "success" like that because to me, success is a baby, not a gender). I never tried it, because we've never wanted to TRY for a baby (after Nathan, when we first changed our family planning method to the "over to you, Lord" method. ;) ), or try to influence the timing or gender or anything. Just not prevent, and enjoy! :D And hope and pray, of course, in my case! Heather, my lovely wonderful doula, has always said that you have to take action to prevent pregnancy, you don't take action to make babies. They are made by doing nothing but enjoying a healthy relationship with your hubby, which should be the case anyway. You can't prevent pregnancy by doing nothing. So we do nothing. ;) The point of which is to explain why I never tried the O+12 method. I didn't want to influence things either way, just let God.

The natural timing of things this time happens to put me either at more than 24 hours after ovulation (but I don't THINK it was that long after really, it must have been less than 24 hours after... I'm just not sure how many hours before 24 hours...), OR it puts me approximately in the O+12 window (parsnips 12-20 hours after ovulation).

So now I am already 8DPO (feel soooo guilty for not writing here sooner, ha!) and waiting for... a period? I don't know. It's the same kind of feeling as having NO IDEA if the baby I'm carrying is a boy or a girl - it could be either way and it's just a neutral wait to find out. Feels like that.

I have spent most of the week thinking I'm probably not pregnant, because - well, nothing obvious. But my temps are WACKY!! Never seen anything like them before! They are up one day, down the next, up the next day, down the day after, etc! Weeeird. Not particularly high temps either. One of the lower temp days, I woke up mouth-breathing, so that may have skewed it, but the other days were all same time, normal conditions, etc. Just weird. I figured they must be "non-pregnant" temps, seeing as they were so different from recent cycles where I have conceived. Maybe.

I haven't had many symptoms. I am unusually hungry for the past few days, except yesterday not quite so much. I have a hormonal spot that's come up yesterday. I felt unusually weepy one day a few days after ovulating (I almost NEVER feel weepy, so it's always a heads-up for me that something "different" is going on). It was sore to breastfeed for a few days from ovulation onwards, which is odd for me, but it's cleared up now, so maybe that was just something else. I had some odd crampy sensations a few days ago, which weren't usual for me, and in the end after much pondering, I put them down to constipation or something, since I couldn't be sure it wasn't due to that (I'm so constipated!!! It's my usual state, but it's worse this past week). But see, those are pretty small things, and even if I am not pregnant, I have hormones anyway, as my luteal phase goes on! So all of those could be down to that. Not sure about the hunger, for me, but yeah. No nausea this cycle - I had a mild bit one of the hungry days when I didn't get lunch fast enough, but nothing else.

BUT, though. Today I was making lunch for the children, and while I was standing there buttering bread, I suddenly became really really crampy. Within a few minutes it was classic period pain, hot and radiating, and through to my lower back on both sides. I kept making lunch, and then maybe 5 minutes of this period pain later, I felt a bit "leaky", so I knew I had my period, what with the pain just starting then too. Usually when I get my period the bleeding starts before the period pain, but whatever, it came on within the same 5 minutes. So I hurried through the rest of the lunch, desperate to get to the loo and get myself sorted out if I was starting my period. I got the kids at the table eating lunch and dashed off upstairs to find nothing at all on my underwear. The cramps were just as bad, so I figured I'd use the toilet and then wipe, and THEN it would be there, but still nothing, just the same CM I've been having since ovulating. For the first time, I thought, "Hmmm...!" ;) But I figured maybe my period would turn up in a little while. The next chance I got to remember about it was a few hours later, mid-afternoon, and I realised I had no crampy sensation at all! None! I couldn't remember how long it had lasted or when it cleared up (I am SO BUSY all day long!! My brain can't remember anything, lol!), but it was gone. It came back for a short bit (10 mins maybe?) later in the afternoon, and I went to the loo but there was no bleeding. And that was it. I've had some mild cramping since, but nothing much, and now it's midnight (aaaaargh, my alarm will go off in six hours!!!!) and I have no bleeding, but mild low backache and mild cramping right now, which I have had on and off all day, and for the last few days here and there.

Soooo, you know what I'm going to say. "Bad cramps" (on my chart) which occur in the luteal phase without being followed by my period within the hour, always. ALWAYS. mean pregnancy, for me. Always. And I may not be pregnant this time, but if that's the case, this will be the first time that I have ever had bad cramps in my luteal phase without my period following straight after, and NOT been pregnant. Ever, in all my 11 years of pregnancies! So that is a definite HMMM, even with all the other things that have made me think I am probably not pregnant. There's no denying this particular symptom. Maybe it'll be a new thing as I'm getting older or something, in my luteal phase? I don't buy it myself, but hey I'm open to the possibility. Maybe... We'll see.

I am very tired today, so I'm a crazy woman staying up this late to update my blog! :/ It's strange for me to be 8DPO and totally unable to rely on my temps for interpretation for once! They are so weird and have no pattern at all, so I can't hang anything on what tomorrow's temp will be! If it drops right down though, it will be a good sign that I'll start a period tomorrow, at least there's that. I'm really excited to have made it to 9DPO in the morning (which I will, as I'm going to bed now!), if I'm not pregnant, because I was wondering how long my LP might be without pregnancy to maybe eke it out a little more than otherwise, and the last two (both conceptions that didn't stick) were 8 days long - not enough. :( So if I get my period tomorrow then I will have had another 8 day luteal phase. It doesn't thrill me that I seem to be stuck with my luteal phase only lasting 8 days (no progression of it getting longer, like I'm used to), but it's a positive thing that I will have made it that far without the help of a pregnancy - hopefully the next one, if I conceive again, might be a little bit longer and it might be long enough to sustain a pregnancy?

The one other thing is... I have had a bit of EWCM on one occasion during the day AFTER I ovulated (literally, one time when I went to the loo, there was EWCM, and the rest of the day, none), and again the following day (two days after ovulation). When that happens, Fertility Friend likes to change your ovulation date to a bit later, because EWCM isn't supposed to occur much after ovulation. So it makes them think you haven't ovulated yet if you still have it, if you see what I mean. I had almost none, and nothing like the 6 days prior (tons, all day long), but you have to note it if you have it. The chart did that for me this cycle. At first it said that I ovulated on CD16, and then just this morning at 8DPO, when I entered my temp, it changed my ovulation date to CD19 for some reason! I took the last day of EWCM off (CD18) and it reverted back to CD16 for my ovulation date. So I'll keep it like that for now. I need to be aware that they might be right, much as I always hate to admit, lol! The first time this ever happened, was when Lydia was conceived. I KNEW when I ovulated, I had a little bit of EWCM after I usually do, after ovulation, and they went and changed my ovulation date around this time in my LP. I was so annoyed, and then oh, it turned out they were right and I somehow ovulated later than I thought, despite all my symptoms and knowing my body so well with all these years of being Crazy Obsesso-Woman, lol! ;) Goes to show! It has happened once in recent months as well. So, with that crazy ovulation pain and the VERY OBVIOUS fertile CM and symptoms, AND the temp rise after CD16, I totally think I ovulated then, but there is a chance I didn't ovulate until a couple of days later (or 3 days, if FF is correct). Which definitely gives me a good chance at being pregnant this cycle. :) But it would make me only 5DPO so far.

Anyway, I must go to bed! I will update again, and try to do better at this closure thing when I get my period! Sorry about that!

9DPO - not looking so good...

I was surprised to get a drop in temperature this morning. I did wake up at 5.50am which is earlier than my usual time, obviously (crazy early!) but I temped anyway because after I settled Lydia back to sleep, it would have been time to get up and pray and prepare for my day, so I just got up. Turned out to be a beautiful and productive start to the day, and I saw a lovely sunrise which always helps! :) So, my temp would have been lower than usual, but not necessarily by a lot. It was quite a bit lower.

That was not what I was expecting! I still felt pregnant. Last night when I was lying in bed trying to get to sleep, I had PROPER bad cramps, at last! :) Without a period to go with them, I knew that they meant implantation, so that was exciting! :) They were hot and vice-like, definite period-or-implantation cramps. I was lying on my back, and I had that BH contraction feeling, and after that I had some vice-like pressure/searing cramps, quite like period pain. This stayed until I went to sleep, along with some on-and-off periody cramps. DEFINITELY "bad cramps". This morning the bad cramps were gone (another absolute pregnancy sign for me, without a period having arrived while the bad cramps were there), and I just felt mildly crampy.

So, after I got up and prayed, and the children woke up, and we had breakfast, I finally got around to going for the first wee of the day, lol! I tested around 13 hours after the last test last night, and expected at least a line as clear as yesterday's but it looks negative to me. :( There's a shadow of a line, I think, more like yesterday morning, but still negative. :( I checked it against yesterday morning's test and yesterday evening's, and I can really see the difference - it looks like yesterday morning's, and the evening test is a more obvious positive, though very faint. I really was not expecting my period to show though. I definitely felt (feel!) pregnant, but with a drop like today's and a negative test at 9DPO, I suddenly felt doubtful for the first time this cycle... Maybe it's going to be another chemical pregnancy? I was so sure it wouldn't be though...

By late morning I was feeling very crampy and heavy in the pit of my abdomen again, and thus began the many many trips to the loo to check to see if I had my period, because I started to get paranoid! I felt like I was leaking something at one point in the morning, but it was just CM.  It reminded me VERY much of being actually pregnant! ;) It's such normal behaviour at this stage in my luteal phase when I AM pregnant! :) Especially with feeling SO crampy like I was, proper heavy periody cramps, which NEVER happens unless I'm pregnant. I was also greatly reassured when I started to feel very mildly queasy around 11am, same as before. By 11.30am I was feeling scrunchingly hungry, and have been very hungry and nibbly the rest of the day, so I'm definitely charting increased appetite. My skin is weirdly soft today, for sure, which Neil confirmed when he got home from work! :) I have constant crampiness, sometimes more mild, but mostly moderate to bad cramps this morning. This afternoon I have had mild cramps, mostly. I am still getting new spots that I only ever get when hormones are involved, but more commonly for me when pregnant. Still having some heartburn. The backache I had yesterday is now very mild on the right side - I can still prod a sore muscle the same as before, but the searing pain is gone, so maybe it WASN'T an injury after all?! :) The same on-and-off discomfort/pulling/pain is there on the front right side which I originally thought was radiating pain from my back "injury", but now I'm thinking maybe implantation? I would absolutely have put it down to that originally, if it weren't for the muscle pain through the other side in my back.

I ended up going crazy and testing again with 2nd morning urine only 2-3 hours after doing the previous (negative) test! :P I remembered a dear friend saying she gets her BFPs with 2nd morning urine, and does better with 25miU tests than 10miU ones, so I tested with a newly arrived 25miU test, and saw a shadowy line within the first minute or two. I was so encouraged! BUT, very faint, and really when I waited longer, it didn't get stronger, and I'm not convinced there's colour to it... can't be an evaporation line after only 1-2 minutes while the background is still clearing, surely?! Also now it's dried a bit, I'm not sure if I can see ANY line at all in certain lights and at certain angles, so does that negate the line I can see at a flat-on-the-sink-surface angle?! I would post a photo, but it's all too faint to show up, and I couldn't be bothered to faff about with photo editing software! DEFINITELY still feel pregnant, but the tests and temp are confusing me! :/

So then, fast-forward to this evening. I had been continuing to feel mildly queasy all afternoon, and Neil was home, and I told him about my temp drop and said that I had been checking my underwear all day because of paranoia! And on that note, I said I would just go and check it again, since I hadn't for an hour or so. TOTALLY did not expect to see pink spotting. :( Then I thought, well, it's only a little, and it's only pink, and you know, spotting is actually quite common in healthy pregnancies during implantation (as I personally know already!). But still - sinking feeling...

I put a pad on so I could keep an eye on it, and carried on with kiddies' dinner and pyjamas and nappies and bedtime, etc. Right before the boys got in bed, I found a moment to dash to the loo to check the pad - nothing on it! So I was encouraged. About 30 minutes in to doing their individual snuggles and prayers (it takes me about an hour to work through them all), I felt leaky, and went to check. A couple of tiny spots on the pad, but RED. Hmmm, not so good, maybe? I finished bedtime and went downstairs to find Neil cooking dinner for us (sometimes we eat after they are in bed, but often we all eat as a family). So I took the chance to check again - a couple more red spots, not much. I also noticed that the bad cramps and backache were back, starting when I first saw the pink spotting, but that has been here on-and-off through the day anyway. So maybe it's a period, and maybe not?

After we ate dinner, I felt leaky again, and now I have more of a hot searing backache and the same cramps as before, but darker red spotting, and more of it. :( I wouldn't call it flow yet, it's definitely just spotting, but I'm thinking now that it might be the start of the end. My temperature should confirm that in the morning, but I took a look at my chart from last cycle, and saw that my temp dropped to exactly the same temp as today, the day I started bleeding, and THEN it hung around at that level the next day, and then went UP the day after! Talk about confusing! I will be frustrated if that happens again this time, because it really doesn't allow me to have closure on things, it keeps me hoping that MAYBE I'm still pregnant and it's just implantation, when I'm not and it isn't. I am thinking maybe my progesterone levels are still too low, like they were when the doctor checked them last year. I'm wondering, anyway. I'm getting older after all...

The only thing left to hope with, is that I still feel properly morning sick this evening. I feel shattered - totally physically wiped out, very like pre-period, or the normal early pregnancy exhaustion. The smell of washing powder makes me feel sick and gaggy today. I definitely have some symptoms that can't be explained away by anything other than pregnancy hormones, and I don't have a shadow of doubt in my mind that I've conceived, but I think maybe it can take a day or two for those hormones to drop enough for the symptoms to subside? I don't know. I was still feeling generally more hopeful than not, even with the spotting, but now that it's a bit heavier I don't know. Last cycle when I started bleeding though, it was BRIGHT red, and I noted it as weirdly so - crazy bright, for days. This is dark red, which I guess is more in keeping with my early pregnancy bleeds in past pregnancies...

There's not much I can do by just wondering and going round in circles! I should go to bed, and see what the morning brings. Temp, which should drop if this is my period, and if it doesn't drop - if it stays level or goes up, then test. I am feeling less and less hopeful of seeing a positive test this time around though. :(

8DPO - could it be?!...

It's late and I must get to bed, but I need to update here first. I will copy and paste from my chart notes for speed. I just didn't want to leave 8DPO without its own update, as it has been fairly eventful today! :)

This morning I had an identical temp to yesterday, and was feeling BURNING hot in bed on waking (even at 6.30am!), so I thought for sure it would be minimum 36.8-something or 36.9, but it was 36.78 again. Nearly as high though, and no drop. Flat temps, hmmm! I've had flat temps before in pregnant cycles, but not for quite a few babies! :)

8DPO is the earliest I will let myself test, and since that day had finally arrived, and my temp was high, I decided to. I only had 2 expired tests (25miU at that) but with my first-morning-urine (which I had urgently needed since the early hours but saved just in case!), I decided I might as well use them as not. I expected a total negative result because I'm only 8DPO (and have never had a positive test before 9DPO - and have even had negative results at 9DPO before when pregnant too), but otherwise they'd go in the bin when replaced by the ones coming in the post today anyway. So I used one. And there was a faint line! Took 5-10 mins to show (negative must be confirmed by waiting 5-10 mins as per instructions) and super faint, but I was juuust about able to get it to show in a photo, and there's some extremely faded pink colour to it! :) The only way I could get it to show up enough was to make the photo darker and black and white. It's such a barely-there line that I wouldn't call it a positive - or I would feel unsure charting a positive test result... Anyway, here's the photo from this morning's test:



I knew my new pregnancy tests would be arriving in the post today at some point, so I decided to keep the urine I used for the test, as the tests arriving would be more sensitive (10miU). I did buy a few 25miU tests as well. They arrived mid-morning, and I dipped a 10miU test in my FMU. It looked negative after the first couple of minutes (you have to wait until 10 to rule out a negative result in the new tests too) and the children were interrupting me all the time at the bathroom door (you can't imagine how hard it was to photograph the earlier test - I had to smuggle the camera into the bathroom in a basket of clean laundry, lol!). So I left it, and returned at around the 10 minute mark, to find a faded PINK fat line, just about visible. I don't think it was an evaporation line as it was too soon for that, I think, and there was colour to the line... BUT still too faint to call positive. I didn't get chance to take a photo but I'm pretty sure I would have struggled to get it to even show up on a photo, and I didn't have time to fiddle with it! :P Later in the day, when I went back to look at it, I wasn't sure if I could see anything at all really, so I was a bit confused because I just KNOW in my knower that I'm properly pregnant, and am just waiting for the tests to catch up with the fact and show it! :P I feel a bit silly and guilty as though I'm being complacent, but I can't explain it. I just know. Did I mention this yesterday? I can't remember. It feels like ages since I last updated, but my last entry says "7DPO" so it must have only been yesterday! ;) I feel like I shouldn't be so sure of myself about it, but I'm not trying to be. Last cycle I had SO many pregnancy symptoms and was sure I was pregnant (and I was), but even so, I was constantly hoping and wondering each evening that my temp might not drop. Often I felt doubtful, even in spite of the symptoms. Not this cycle, it feels so different. I am almost doing my days without dwelling on my luteal phase at all. I am not even obsessing much at all! I feel strangely as though I am just biding my time and waiting until enough time has passed that I can see those positive tests that I'm already feeling on the inside. I feel further on in pregnancy than I actually am, which is a statement that makes NO sense whatsoever, and I can't explain it, but there it is. I'm NOT further on, I just feel... further along! :/ Confusing, sorry! I can't describe it any other way!

I have been having more heartburn than usual for the past few days, and it's been bothersome ALL day today, on and off. I've had a lot of trouble with morning sickness type feelings, and my nose has become super sensitive today - very handy when trying to track down a dodgy smell somewhere in the kitchen (!!) but not so handy when it makes me feel queasy to smell things! I opened the back door this morning and in 0.3 seconds I knew a cat had pooed in the garden overnight. Ugh! If it hadn't been pouring with rain I would have had a walk about to see if I could sniff out where it was!

I feel really quite crampy today. Mostly mild cramps... My backache from yesterday is still pretty bad, but more crampy/pully than injury today. I have had some definite pulling and twinges inside my hips though, on both sides, but more persistently on my right side (where the back (injury?) pain and radiating abdominal pain was yesterday). I have been more crampy this afternoon and evening, worse than mild cramps, but I am not sure if they could be classed as bad cramps, even for me... Charting bad cramps for now. Definitely more than mild cramps... I have a slight sore throat on once side this pm/eve, which is worsening a little. It has been hanging around mildly for a day or so, NOT viral, just more like that "is it/isn't it a sore throat" thing that I've had in the 2WW before sometimes.

Neil says my skin MAY be weirdly soft - especially on my left cheek, lol! I'm not sure either. He will check again tomorrow. :)

I had another yucky afternoon/evening feeling queasy with everything smelling of old car, yesterday. Today, the queasy feeling started at 10.30am!! It is making me SO nervous... :/ I'm only just at 3 weeks - what on earth would I be like at 4 and a half (when it started with Lydia)?! Or SIX (when it started with most of the boys, and kicked into a higher gear with Lydia)?!! I could be actually vomiting, which I am SO VERY THANKFUL to have avoided thus far in my reproductive career! :/ The difference today was that I didn't have so much of the car smell. Chewing my finger/fingernails makes me feel a bit yucky (definite morning sickness sign - aaaargh! This doesn't usually happen until another couple of weeks have passed!!!!), and I have had a yucky metallic taste in my mouth some of the time this afternoon and evening. I have just felt mildly queasy in the background of everything. I made roast chicken, etc. for dinner, and making the gravy at 6.30pm made me feel gaggy, just the consistency made me feel a bit sick, and then slightly gaggy as I was watching it being stirred in the pan. I am most definitely absolutely pregnant. I wasn't sure if I could eat the dinner, even though I wasn't feeling too sick or anything, when I sat down to it. I ate it anyway - oh and I felt sick at lunch time and made myself a ham and cheese and cucumber sandwich, which I felt slightly queasy eating, and then felt better for eating straight away, followed by slightly queasy not long after finishing (morning sickness pattern, for me). I'm also noticing an ever so slightly bitter taste to food, especially crisps. I almost gagged on a parsnip this evening - not the sweeter tip, but the part nearer to the root that sometimes has that... yucky, almost garlicky taste - can't describe it, but it made me almost physically gag when I was chewing it. DEFINITELY pregnant. No other possible reason in the whole wide world. Just impatient for the tests to confirm it! ;)

Right before the boys went to bed tonight, I was upstairs getting pyjamas, and needed a wee, and was suddenly seized with the urge to test again! I felt quite silly as I'm STILL 8DPO, and have already crazily tested today, lol! But I hadn't been for a good long while (5/6 hours at least?), and had a pack of 10 super early tests to use up which will sit around for ages (ever?!) once I know I'm pregnant and don't need them any more! :P So I used another. That's what super early tests are for, right?! ;)

Well, after a few minutes, it looked negative, so I went out of the bathroom to finish getting the pyjamas for the little boys. The window on the wasn't 100% white yet, but almost completely, and I'd been there at least 5 mins. When I had finished gathering clothes, I came back - just before the 10 minute mark I would think, though I wasn't timing it. There looked like a very faint line, with colour, and fat, not a thin stripe, like this morning but I didn't have time to compare them, and thought not much of it, since it was obviously no different to earlier and I would likely test again in the morning anyway. Finally after the boys were prayed for, and snuggled, and going to sleep, I had chance to sneak back into the bathroom to collect both this morning's and this evening's tests for detailed examination downstairs (and to show Neil), around 9.15pm! ;) There IS a line! I can barely make out a shadow of one on this morning's test, but there's more of a shadowy line on this evening's than this morning's!!! :D I handed them to Neil and he squinted at them for AGES, not seeing anything. He often can't see the super duper faint lines on early tests that I can see. He says, "Nah!" and then I have to point a pencil tip at where I mean him to see the almost non-existent line, lol! And sometimes he sees it, then. Sometimes not. Anyway, he was very patient with me! ;) He took his glasses off, and held the tests at various angles, and then suddenly said, "Oh!" And I said, "Which one?" He said, "The bottom one."  and pointed at the shadowy line. I told him the top test was this morning's and the bottom test was this evening's. :) I think I could almost call it a BFP (this evening's not this morning's), but Neil says he thinks I need something more visible to call it one, so I'm not sure what to chart right now. But obvious progression - yay! Now that I'll be testing only 12 hours from now (presuming my temp doesn't drop, which for some inexplicable reason, I have no qualms about - even though it COULD happen, pregnant or not, I just feel so sure I'm pregnant and it's not about to end), there might not actually be any difference in the line tomorrow morning from this evening's... Oh well. I will see. I can't NOT test tomorrow morning with FMU though, can I?! ;)

OH! I forgot to say here, because it happened after I updated my blog, in the afternoon - I was leaning on the bannisters upstairs, talking to Benjamin who was playing in one of the bedrooms, and Arthur appeared on the stairs and said, "Mummy? Have you got a baby in your tummy?" I was totally floored and just opened and closed my mouth, and was not awfully cool about it, lol! I didn't give him an answer, just said, "What makes you ask that?!" and he told me, "Matthew said he thinks you've got a baby in your tummy, so I came to ask if you have!" Then Matthew appeared next to him, smiling away. I could NOT help smiling, aaaargh, I tried so hard to keep a straight face, because they're old enough at 8 and 10!!!! I don't want to give anything away before it's 100%, and even then I would prefer to let them know later than this! Anyway, I asked Matthew the same question, and he said it was because he looked up the stairs and saw me leaning on the bannisters in a certain way, as though I was "trying to feel.... maybe a baby inside?!" Bless! I said, as far as I KNOW (because I had no positive test yesterday), there isn't, but I felt a bit guilty saying that, as I felt instinctively that I DO have a baby growing inside me. :/ The fact that he said that makes me even more excited, because he did that with Lydia's pregnancy at 6DPO, just randomly, the same as yesterday (7DPO). :) Arthur has also done this in very early pregnancies before, when he hadn't yet known about my pregnancy. Or children (Nathan and Matthew) have randomly started discussing a name for the next baby while I was waiting to test once! Seems like a good pregnancy sign to me! ;)

Happy note: Matthew was VERY disappointed that I wasn't pregnant. He said he would REALLY like another baby, and he doesn't mind if it's a girl or a boy, just another baby would be so lovely. Love that boy! :)

I will update tomorrow! :)

7DPO and not much news yet...

So I'm still here! Still with that weird laid-back feeling - I don't feel obsessive about anything yet. But I'm seven days past ovulation!! :)

Yesterday my temp dropped a bit, which - this will sound weird - I was almost expecting. Like an implantation dip kind of expectation, given that it was 6DPO with no temp drops so far before that. It wasn't that much of a dip, and I would have been thinking it might be the start of a drop towards getting my period, SO LONG AS it continued going down the next day. I felt strangely calm about it, because it's like I expected it to dip and then rise again the next day - no reason why I could possibly know or feel like I know, but there you go. Anyway so today it did rise back up! :) No period coming today at any rate! :)

I haven't had a whole bunch of symptoms this time round. I have a few that are well worth noting, but not the huge array of them that I had last cycle. I almost feel in "neutral" gear, like nothing is happening either way, but I remember that's a very typical way for me to feel when I'm pregnant, between 4 and 7 or 8DPO (going by my blog entries on my other pregnancies - haven't checked the earlier babies, but the more recent ones had this "neutral" feeling window.

I bought some pregnancy tests yesterday evening. I figured I ought to, since time is passing and I'm going to want to test in a couple of days if I haven't got my period by then, and I only have expired tests now (and the Clearblue which I want to use for confirmation). See? Soooo laid-back, lol! They should arrive tomorrow. I got early pregnancy tests (10miU) and normal ones (25miU) - not loads of them because I feel like (again, weirdly - and I may prove myself wrong anyway!) I won't need a load of tests in the bathroom cupboard. I've got enough for a couple of cycles though.

A really significant symptom which started on the afternoon of 5DPO, is nausea, and not just nausea, but that travel queasy kind (ie. morning sickness!). I could smell cars - like the smell of a coat that's been left in the car, a sort of yucky doggy fuel-like smell (blech!) - and once it started, I could smell it all of the later part of the afternoon, and the evening, and the smell made me feel sick - it pervaded everything, yuck! When he came home from work, I asked Neil, but he couldn't smell it at all. When I went to make the boys' dinner (felt too bloated/queasy to eat anything myself at that time), and got the sweetcorn out of the fridge, I realised what the sweet/sour yucky smell had been that had assaulted my senses every time I'd opened the fridge since waking this morning - the open (but foil-covered) can of sweetcorn! Actually standing over the can and spooning it out was almost overwhelming - the smell was so nauseating! I talked to Neil about all this while I was making the dinner, and both of us were saying basically I'm definitely pregnant with that symptom alone! ;)

Then yesterday (6DPO), in the morning when I woke up, there was not a TRACE of that car/fuel yucky smell, and I didn't feel queasy at all, so I figured it was a blip the previous day. I was putting away the lunch things mid-afternoon and realised I felt a bit queasy. As soon as I paid attention to the sensation, I realised I could smell that yucky car smell again, not just a bit, but really strong. Ugghghhh. It really smells horrible! But apparently there's no smell there, according to Neil! So that continued until I went to bed for the night, and made me feel really travel/motion queasy, even outright nauseous at some points, when combined with the bloating and gassiness (also pregnant of me) that I seem to have. When Neil called from work and asked how I was feeling, I said the morning was fine, but now I was feeling yucky and the car smell was back. He charmingly said, "Wait - you're telling me that it's come on in the AFTERNOON again?! You're all knocked up!" :P And I realised that it's TOTALLY a morning sickness pattern for me. All my babies without exception, my morning sickness starts mid-late afternoon (or it's there all the time but it's unbearably worse from that time onwards), and continues until I fall asleep. Often it's not there at all on waking, and if I'm lucky, I don't suffer from it much until the afternoon. So... that really super-duper unnerves me! I would only have been 2 weeks and 5 days pregnant (5 days after I ovulated!!!) when it started!!! *gulp* The earliest it ever started before is 4 and a half weeks, with Lydia. Before that it was 5 weeks (Samuel), and the others were a day or two before the 6 week mark. No matter if it starts earlier, it significantly worsens from about 6 weeks onwards, so the fact that I feel like this now fills me with... wary anticipation! :/

So, I can't stand the smell of sweetcorn (funnily enough - or not, if you're as convinced as I am that I'm pregnant! - the same thing I've had an aversion to the smell/taste of in previous pregnancies), although I did eat some with dinner last night and it actually was fine. Once a week, Neil and I eat shop-bought lasagne and garlic bread. It's an easy meal that we enjoy and have eaten for years, but when I'm pregnant I can't take the extreme garlic at ALL and it feels too rich for my tummy. He has suggested it for a meal two nights running, and both nights I said no because I honestly couldn't stand the thought of it (and still can't). My stomach feels yucky with all this wind in it though, so maybe that's part of the problem? Although, going by my blog with other pregnancies, the yucky wind thingy is pregnant of me at this stage too (I've asked that question before at this stage - "Maybe it's just the windy tummy?" ;) ).

Today I have had some flashy pains in my right breast. This is marvellously pregnant of me! :) I was super duper excited to feel those happening, because I don't get those when not pregnant - I sometimes get tender breasts, but not flashy pains - those I get every time I'm pregnant in the 2WW. I blogged with excitement that I was feeling those at last, at 9DPO with Lydia! :)

I'm irritable, tired and intolerant of children's noise and even the slightest act of disobedience. *sigh* This is also pregnant of me - I realise it's also normal for basically motherhood in general, but for me, increase in these things while I'm waiting to test is usually a pregnancy sign. Today and yesterday I have had so much trouble feeling exhausted that I have prayed in bed when my alarm went off at 6.10 (and temped at that time too), and then fallen back to sleep, instead of getting up and starting my day with worship and prayer, etc. like I mentioned last entry. Even when I had not had nearly enough sleep, before this, I managed to get up anyway. Even sleeping longer this morning, I felt utterly shattered getting up, like I was just tooooo tired. I thought I would wake up a bit as the morning went on, but I've stayed exhausted instead.

Now it's 1.17pm and I have just noticed in the last 20 or 30 minutes that everything smells of badly perfumed CAR, uggghhh. I feel yucky and sick with it. I was fine this morning! :) Definitely hmmm....!

I have some really painful lower back pain today, since I got out of bed, but I don't know that it's pregnancy related - I think I must have done something to it (can't think what!), because it's like sharp muscle pain or something - on my right side. I do have some duller, cramp-like pain through the front in the same area, inside my hip an inch or so, so that IS the sort of place I get implantation pain... but I'm not sure if I've just injured something or other and that's the pain of it radiating through? I've tried massage, and my muscle behind my hip feels sore, but it hasn't helped. Other than that I've been mildly crampy, if that, and no bad cramps yet.... If I'm pregnant I will absolutely need to have bad cramps at some point very soon - I often have them before 7DPO, though sometimes not until today or tomorrow.... They usually occur out of the blue, and there's no mistaking them!

I'm trying to think if there's anything else.... I'm contining to have the "pregnant" CM that I talked about before, but a little less of it now. I guess I will wait to see what tomorrow's temp brings, and if it's up, I guess I MAY test if my new tests arrive in time, as I'll be 8DPO. Too early really, but yeah. I have had positive tests at 9DPO before, so to me, that's the day to start testing. If I had tests in the cupboard at 8DPO I would probably start then, though! ;)

I feel pregnant, and Neil is sure I am, but I feel very relaxed about it, happy to just wait and see it pan out. Or not, whatever. ;) So strange for me to feel this way! I'll update again soon! :)

5DPO! :)

Thank you for the Happy Birthday in my comments last entry, Desiree! :) How did you know?! My birthday was Saturday, and now I am 39!!! I really really feel my fertile years dwindling now, in the last year of my 30s. How I hope I will be blessed again before they are gone!

I did ovulate, as I thought, on CD20! I got my confirmation that I ovulated the next day after my last entry, and I'm now 5DPO. Parsnips was actually the day before ovulation, not 2 days before as I said last entry. I feel way more laid back this cycle, and can't believe the days are passing so quickly without me mega-obsessing over everything! ;) By 5DPO last time, I was like, "Well, I could get my period today, which would be a 4 day luteal phase, or maybe tomorrow, which I hope won't happen, but maybe it will, and then it will be a 5 day luteal phase, but I really hope it will be at least 7DPO for a 6 day luteal phase, and I'm sure I'm pregnant but it would be too early to test... " etc. lol! ;) THIS time, for no apparent reason, I feel relaxed. What will be, will be (disclaimer: I will likely lose this laid-back approach in around 2 or 3 days, lol!). I don't have a million glaringly obvious symptoms, I feel really quite neutral and comfortable and relaxed, physically.

I have had a couple of bizarre things. At 3DPO and once at 4DPO (yesterday), I had what felt for all the world like miniature Braxton Hicks contractions. Just here and there. It was a slow grip, hold, and release sensation, and for a while I was perplexed thinking something was up with my bowel, lol! But no. It definitely felt uterine in nature, and reminded me exactly of Braxton Hicks, except tiny in scale.

Also, on my birthday (so at 3DPO) I got up suddenly to dash for the front door and had to stop in my tracks due to a sudden ligament pain inside my right hip, as low down as my pubic bone. I remember this stuff from last cycle, but didn't expect it this early! I thought it was a fluke, but yesterday (4DPO), we were in the van travelling to a war museum (Arthur's passion - war history!) and I blew my nose and had such a sharp ligament pain it took my breath away! Same kind of location too.

Temp-wise, I am enjoying my chart this cycle! :) I had a big dip in temperature before I ovulated and the day of ovulation, then it has been quite a slow but steady rise since then, about .1 of a degree Celsius each day, until today. It looks pretty and encouraging! :) I am temping earlier than ever before, this past week, at the same time each day exactly. I used to temp around 8.30 when Lydia woke up (that's when I got up! Seems SO late now!), and then she shifted her waking time to around 7.30am more recently. THEN I finally acted on the conviction I've had for YEARS, that despite being The Very Opposite of a morning person (I feel actually ILL when I get up early, and my body has always been geared to late nights - I am most alert and clear-headed at night and used to do my best homework then too!), I needed to get up and give the FIRST part of my day each day to God. I felt for ages that God was asking me to get up BEFORE the children, so I had time to pray and worship and get my head in gear properly for the day ahead (praying over it is so important and makes such a difference to how I cope with it!). I know lots of mamas (especially of many children) who do this but it's SO hard for me to do it. I'm not saying it isn't for them! But it's goes against my nature - I chose to do it because I knew God was asking me to, and I wanted to obey him, but also I wanted to GIVE, like, sacrificially, because it felt good to. I am a week in to waking up to an alarm clock under my pillow at 6.10am (shudder!) while all my children sleep! It feels SO WRONG, haha! But I do it. Often, Lydia wakes before I get off the bed, so I feed her back to sleep before going down, and cover kiddies who are out of their covers to minimise the risk of them waking too soon! Samuel tends to wake around 7am if not before, so I have less than an hour, sometimes less than 30 minutes between getting downstairs and him getting up. I would ideally like an hour, and work towards praying/worshipping, reading my Bible and also a devotional book or something, exercising, getting washed and dressed, and having my own breakfast/cup of tea. And even starting on housework for the day!

Right now, I start with prayer and worship (to a quietly-played CD) right away, and then I pray through a chapter of 'The Power of a Praying Wife' and then read my Bible. Some days I write in my journal if God has put something on my heart to write. Some days I have enough time to watch the sun rise with a cup of tea (this is an AWESOME perk to getting up early, and also serves to fill my heart with more worship for God than ever before!), and eat breakfast, unload and re-load/start the dishwasher, and get washed and dressed, but not always. I do love being up and ready for my children in the morning, and able to greet each one as he arrives downstairs with a cuddle and a chat. I love the happy faces as they see me down already, and I love being one step ahead of the day, not playing catch-up all the time. Most of all I love having spent time with God FIRST. It feels good to get the most important priority attended to at the very start of the day. :) I am finding it a bit hard-going with disciplining myself to get to bed early enough, and just with being tired in the first hours, but it's worth it.

Soooo, the point of all that is - my temp time is the same time every day now, and it's EARLY. Temping at different times always gives me different temps - the earlier I temp, the lower the temp is. If I lie in, I get a higher temp than "accurate" for me, that sort of thing, so I have to take that into account. Sometimes in the past, if I've had reason to temp at 6-something-am, and inevitably get a low temp, I will adjust it a little for accuracy. Rarely though. I've experimented before (even as recently as this weekend!), waking at 6am and temping, then falling back to sleep until 7.30am and temping again, and then sleeping some more until 9.15am or something (my usual lie-in at the weekend - thankful to Neil!) and I will usually get temps in a pattern like this: 6am - 36.4; 7.30am - 36.54; 9.15 - 36.8. Quite a difference! If my usual time is 7.30 I will only use the 36.54. Since my new waking time, even though it will get me "lower temps" than is normal for me, I am keeping those on my chart because they'll have the most accurate overall pattern on my chart since I'll maintain that time.

So today I was really was surprised to temp at 6.10am and get 36.8!!! Really high temp for me that early in the morning, and I can't fathom what that would have been at my usual time or a bit later! Probably 37.0 which I never get unless I'm pregnant, but usually not as early as 5DPO all the same. So that interested me today! :)

I have what, for me, is very "pregnant" CM since late afternoon on 3DPO. I used to write precise details of CM here at this blog in my "younger years" (ha!), but I feel a bit squeamish and private about that in recent years, so I will just say it's "pregnant" for me, and leave it at that (and write the details in my FF chart notes where only my eyes see, lol!)! ;) Same as last cycle, and same as Lydia's pregnancy at this stage, in any case. I haven't checked to see if it was my usual in previous pregnancies yet.

Okay, it's time to make lunch so I will stop for now. Will update again soon! :)