*TEN* DPO!!!!!

It's the very end of the day at TEN days past ovulation, and I'm still here!!! No bleeding, no spotting, nothing! I can't believe it that I only have to sleep and then I'm at 11 days past ovulation - I can't remember what it feels like to be past 10 days after ovulation without a period or a confirmed pregnancy! With Lydia I was 9DPO when I got a positive test. In fact, actually it has been YEARS! My longest luteal phase before Lydia was 8 days, and with Elijah, I didn't test at all until 17DPO because I had a huge temp drop and bleeding at 7DPO, which I presumed was my period and didn't think about anything else until 10 days later! ;) My longest luteal phase before he was conceived was 6 days. Samuel's positive test came at 11DPO, and the longest luteal phase before him was 10 days. So it really has been a lonnnng time since I have been sitting twiddling my thumbs on the eve of 11DPO with neither a positive test in my hand, nor any sign of my period showing up!

So this morning I had a super duper high temp, which I wasn't expecting! :) I was half expecting it to drop down, but the best I had hoped for was that it would stay on a level with the triphasic, flat-ish temps I had been having. Instead it went UP! So exciting!!! :D I just can't look at my chart and think of any possibility other than I simply MUST be pregnant! :)

BUT, I tested with a 25miU test (not the super sensitive ones) and got a very stark white negative, which was disappointing, and not quite what I'd expected given my temp, and at 10DPO. I have had quite clear positives at 10DPO before (I know every pregnancy is different). I still had the cup of FMU, and just happened to see a test packet at the bottom of the pile (I know that makes it sound like a have a huge stash of pregnancy tests in the cabinet, but I promise my pile is actually just 2 or 3 high now! ;) ), and I thought it was a sneaky super-sensitive test that had been hiding, so I opened it and THEN saw that it was another 25miU test, just not the exact same brand of cheapy stick that I'd been using. Whoops! So since I'd opened it, I dipped it anyway, and that one had a very faint line on it. I am not sure if it is invalid though, because the line is only really visible on one side of the line... It came up within the first 2 or 3 minutes. Shelby, I know it would be "wise" to dip, walk away, come back and read the test, but I LOVE watching pregnancy tests!!! I actually can hardly tear myself away, and I choose to because it's exciting! I love it! Even when it's hard or disappointing, I would still choose to do it again the next day rather than walk away and come back later. I did that once, and felt disappointed to have missed the line develop - like I got the result but not the action, lol! I just don't feel that way about testing. For me it's part of the fun to watch the stick "cook". :)

I managed to get a so-so picture of the test from this morning with the "is it/isn't it" line:



You can barely see it, right? And it's only one "edge" of the line that's visible properly. It's still a line, I think, especially compared with the other test which had NOTHING on it, but I wouldn't call it a positive test, yet... I don't think...  I think there's now an extremely faint grey evaporation line on the stark negative test, but nothing like this one. So, I don't know... I would have expected *something*, however slight, at 10DPO. I don't think I have ever tested negative at 10DPO and then positive later, although I did test negative at 9DPO and positive at 11DPO with Samuel. In hindsight I wish I had tested at 10DPO as well, just to know if a line would have been there yet or not! :) The photo of that positive test from 11DPO is here, if you're interested. I'm encouraged by the fact that it was quite a faint line! :)

So other news for today, before I have to fall over into bed and sleep!...

I had weirdly soft skin this morning, confirmed by Neil when he got home from work, yay! At first he said that one cheek was definitely "pregnant soft", and the other one not quite yet! ;) Both are super soft now though. :) This is a totally pregnant thing for me, as you know. I am having on and off period cramps, and a heavy, full, yucky hot feel in the pit of my abdomen. Some of the cramps are bad enough to be charted as bad cramps, as though my period is arriving and they feel yucky and hot, but they don't last long and are completely gone, or just very mild cramps the next time I stop to think about them, and then they come back again after a bit. I'm charting both mild and bad cramps. Also lots of low backache, nagging and mild, mostly. As I write this I have low backache that makes me want to stretch to try to relieve it, and period-ish pain that's on the mild side, but has a weird sharp quality to it on my left side. Odd! That has been here and then gone, on and off, all day long. When it's gone, it's totally gone. Definitely a pregnancy symptom for me, because pre-period (or when it's actually here too) I never get that.

In other news, I have done something to my foot - the ball of my right foot is throbbing and too painful to put weight on, as of bedtime last night (or maybe earlier?? I can't remember when it started). It swollen and hot which makes me wonder if I broke some little bones in there, but I would SURELY remember that! Anyway, not helping things today! My knees have been hurting for months, but they are particularly bad today because I have had to bear weight differently through my foot to walk about. I can walk but it hurts.

I am still very irritable and being shouty with the boys when they are being difficult. :( I am embarrassed to admit that, even here, and even knowing that it has a hormonal basis, but in the name of honesty and noting everything that's relevant to pregnancy....

I am absolutely definitely "pregnantly" tired out again. Today I also have a headache - quite a bad one actually, which has come on gradually from a tiny "I think I have a headache starting" thing early evening, to "it's quite sore really" at the boys' bedtime, to "urgh, my head really hurts!" now. It's in my eyes, forehead and temples. I have had a lot of sinus headaches lately so maybe it's another of those, but I don't know. I guess it could be a pre-period headache, as it's quite bad. I haven't taken anything for it though. I just took something for it (maybe it will help my foot as well! That kept me awake quite a bit last night!), so hopefully it'll ease off.

I'm very thirsty again today, but I think a bit less so. I have been drinking more though. I am not yet weeing more frequently - sometimes I have been by now, and sometimes not yet, in other pregnancies. I have had heartburn a bit, especially on lying down on my side, at any time of day. It has been a bit sore when nursing today again, and I have definitely had nursing aversion at times today, especially by the end of the day. I have had times where I've just wanted to jerk my top down and say I'm DONE breastfeeding for the day (even in the morning, haha!)!! It is always accompanied by INTENSE irritability, which I've had in abundance (again!!) today. I really never have nursing aversion until I am majorly touched-out and sleep-deprived, but it's VERY common for me when I'm pregnant, even from very early on like this. So I'm noting it because I think it is a pregnancy symptom.

I have been checking my underwear often today, because of the occasional proper period pain, but there is not a spot of pink in sight, even now right before going to bed for the night at TEN DPO!!! :D I am still not sure what to make of the negative test though... I have ordered a pack of 2 First Response tests, but they won't be here for at least a couple of days, so not much point really. I can't drive off to a chemist and buy one, but maybe I can get Neil to pick one up?? Should have thought of that today, d'oh! Oh well.

What else?... I have had some dizziness with the tiredness/tired eyes thing since late afternoon, so I am charting that. Also a weird stabbing pain that flashed on, held for 2 or 3 seconds, and then disappeared again, inside my right hip, about an inch above my pubic bone. Not a little twinge, but a deep, stop-what-I'm-doing-and-focus-on-it pain. And then gone, just like that. Odd, so noting it. I thought the gassiness was improving but it's back again this evening, lol! Oh well! ;)

I think that's it. I have to hang up some washing that is just finishing a spin cycle, throw another load in to wash overnight, and hit my pillow. So wiped out! I am almost nervous about the morning - in a good, exciting way, not a debilitating miserable kind of nervous! :) I can't imagine my temp will stay up as high as it was this morning, seriously. That surprised me! I would hope it might stay at the triphasic level.... If it drops right down then I think that is that. But at least I will have a 10 day luteal phase this cycle!! Which I am thrilled about! :) I did have perfect conditions for a good temp this morning - I was snuggled up so warm in my covers that I was overheating, and my mouth was clamped shut, lol! ;) Waking out of the covers or mouth breathing tomorrow might change my chart a little! OH! I almost forgot - I woke from a vivid and weird dream!!! Never have those, but it's almost something I can count on in very early pregnancy (and the rest of it, now I think about it!).

Hopefully I'll be able to get an accurate temp, and maybe test again if things look promising. I'm almost nervous about that too - what if I temp and it looks good to test again, but I STILL get a negative result? At 9 or even 10DPO that's disappointing but there's still hope that it's just a bit too early. By 11DPO, not so much. I really don't want to use my only Clearblue Digital because I feel all nostalgic about that test stick - it's part two of a two pack that I bought to get my positive test for Lydia's pregnancy, and I'd love to use its partner to test positive for another baby! :) I only want to use it if I'm sure it will be confirming a pregnancy. I will just have to wait and see what my temp is in the morning and go from there.

I'll update asap!

P.S. Sander, I love the name Lily (Lydia has started pronouncing her name Lily (she's trying to say "Lydie"!!) but Neil's sister is called Lilian and he likes to have first names that aren't people we are close to already. Sweet name though! :)

9DPO - nine!!!

I'm nine days past ovulation! After 11pm! Without a period!!! Woohoo!!!

And not only did my temp NOT drop, and not only is my chart still triphasic, but my temp actually went up a bit today! It was my highest one this cycle! I was so excited to see it this morning. I tested using first morning urine. I dipped both a "regular" sensitivity test stick (which I have always used in the past), and my last super-sensitive test stick. Both were negative. I saw shadowy lines which came up within the first 2-3 minutes, but yeah I am feeling "done" with shadowy lines, and no longer sure whether to trust them as anything but a total negative, so... The tests I've been using all this time have been the super-sensitive ones, so I'm giving them up and sticking with the good old less sensitive 25miU tests from now on. I have a couple of those left, and a Clearblue digital, in the bathroom cabinet. The line on the 25miU test is still visible tonight, though it's barely there, and I don't remember seeing ANYTHING on those ones before, so we'll see. I am definitely calling it negative though - it's negative for sure. I felt a BIT discouraged about the possibility of pregnancy with the negative tests at 9DPO (I've had a clear positive at this stage before), but then I remembered Samuel again, and how I had a stark negative at 9DPO. So I just decided to stop thinking about it and wait until tomorrow. I felt like 24 hours was AGES to wait, lol! But the day has gone quite quickly, and now I only have to sleep to find out what will happen next! :)

Other news from today:

I am back to crazy banshee-woman irritable. I have shouted at my kiddies, and feel horrible about the grumpy mummy they've had to put up with today. They have been faaaaaaar from innocent, believe me - really difficult little people today! ;) Hence the banshee-woman. *sigh* But even so, it has to be said that I am ridiculously irritable, definitely on a level with a few days ago. Now I think of it, just like the pattern I've had before in pregnant luteal phases... A few days of crazy hormones (somewhere between 2 and 6 days past ovulation), then a few calmer days, and then another round of crazy. Interesting...

Also discovered at 12.30pm that I was shaking and weak with hunger! Not stomach growling, just like a blood sugar crash. I get those a lot in pregnancy, if I wait too long to eat, or sometimes even when it's not even time to eat yet, when I am doing a lot inside physically re. baby-growing! I had to go and make myself lunch before even making the children's, as fast as I could. I ate cheese sandwiches, and crisps, and shakily spooned a huge bowlful of cream of leek and potato soup into my mouth, and homemade banana cake, and then I wasn't shaky any more, but I still had some room (this is a WAY bigger appetite than my norm!) so I ate a rather large slice of chocolate cheesecake! I am so hooked on creamy indulgent desserts! Not my norm either, and I usually rarely eat them, but right now I am indulging daily. *blush*

A couple of hours after lunch, a new type of fatigue kicked in, which I was saying yesterday I hadn't had yet. Definitely hormonal tiredness. Either because I'm getting a period, or because I am pregnant. No way it's anything else - and I am well-experienced in types of fatigue! This is a specific (and very familiar) kind of exhausted. I managed okay though, but by 5pm I had to lie on the living room floor with little ones climbing on me, and it was so hard to keep my eyes open. I dozed lightly, on and off, and randomly breastfed (!!) while I lay there for about 45 minutes before I could pull myself together and make a cup of tea to give me a boost for making dinner! I haven't had to do that for a long time, even with being really sleep deprived. It's a different kind of tiredness, for me. I quite liked the feeling because of the nostalgia it gave me for my past pregnancies! :) I used to clock up a lot of hours lying clapped out on the living room floor, lol! ;)

I have had some heartburn and reflux AGAIN today - so unusual for me to have this daily now!

I still have that is it/isn't it a sore throat thing, without anything developing from it as yet. It doesn't feel viral anyway, and it's more scratchy/uncomfy than anything else.

I continue to be super thirsty all the time. Being paranoid I started to wonder about sugar crashes, tiredness and extreme thirst... but I'm not weeing frequently yet, and in any case, I have blogged these symptoms several times in previous pregnancies early on (no gestational diabetes), so it's probably just normal pregnancy stuff for me.

I really have no doubt that I am pregnant. I have had some period-like cramps today for the first time, but they have come and gone. This even I had some really sharp stabbing twinge-like pains that flashed on and off. Some were in my left lower abdomen, where I had some pains at 5DPO (implantation), but others were bizarrely in my um... undercarriage (!!!), like having a sudden needle to the nether-regions or even one or two almost felt like cervical pain - though I can't remember clearly enough if the feeling was accurate for that...

The only thing I have doubt about is whether or not I will STAY pregnant. My track record so far isn't great, and either it will go the same way this time, or it won't. So I have to just take each day as it comes. My chart is so pretty and pregnant, and I love looking at it and seeing the nice triphasic rise and the line continuing up up up, right now. But I know that tomorrow the line could drop right down. Or a bit down. Either way, it could all disappear away again, and I could start bleeding by this time tomorrow, and that's the end of that. I totally trust God on it. He is in control, and I'm so thankful I can leave it with him! :)

I forgot to reply to a couple of comments recently - I will post more photos at the main blog, yes! :) I have already had a not-so-nice comment on the first post I've made in ages, unfortunately. I am hormonally charged and defensive, so have written another post tonight in answer. :/ It has really put me off continuing my intention to write posts about the children right now. I will have to think about it. I do intend to update again, but I will see. I don't want to make the blog private, so... But thanks for the nice comments! :)

Also, someone asked about the name Georgia. I did consider it this time, because it used to be my favourite right back at the beginning! :) I still love it, but the middle name for a girl would be Averil (Neil's mum) and some of the other names go better. Also, Neil says he thinks Georgia sounds too much like George with an 'a' on the end, so quite a masculine name (?!), and after all these boys we really want girly girly names if we have another girl! :) Lydia fitted the bill nicely in that sense. Also if we had a Georgia, the last 3 children would be Elijah, Lydia, and Georgia, and they're all "ah" at the end. I like the fact that it's a letter 'G' - without thinking about it, I am doing the opposite of the Duggars, haha! All my children's names start with a different letter of the alphabet, and now that we have this many, I think I would like to continue that if possible! I am still considering names starting with letters we've already used though - so it's not absolutely set in stone that we'll do that.

Okay, I must get to bed. I am having a last-minute moment of doubt over whether my temp will still be up in the morning - maybe I am sub-consciously aware that my hormones are shifting? I think I read into things too much and should just go to sleep! ;) I haven't got as far as 10DPO in years! Lydia was conceived over 2 years ago, and that was the last time! :) If I get my period, it'll be a 9 day luteal phase, and that's improvement, even if it's only by one day - I'll take it! :) If not, I will test, you know I will! :) I will update in the morning if I can, otherwise later in the day. Thanks for hanging in there with me! :)

8DPO - Triphasic!!!

Triphasic, triphasic, my chart's triphaaasic!!! I did a little dance in the bathroom once I was out of the sight of children! ;) I KNOW it could still all disappear, but I can't seem to help myself, I'm just SO EXCITED this cycle! :D

My temp has now been up at the raised (after the evening of bad cramps) level for 3 days in a row, so that makes my chart triphasic, which is really really REALLY pregnant of me. ;) The bad cramps have always been an absolute pregnancy symptom anyway, but last cycle for the first time, I had bad cramps in my luteal phase and I didn't feel that I was pregnant. So my confidence is shaken on that symptom being a dead cert, but even so, it's probably like 98% likely to be a symptom caused by pregnancy than something else, so that's encouraging too! :)

The other great thing about my temp this morning is that it was 36.71, exactly the same temp as yesterday's! They were already pretty flat, but you can't get much more so than that (yet another pregnancy sign for me)! :)

So I wasn't planning to test. I went to the bathroom and hesitated for a while, sort of willing myself to just PEE already and then I would no longer have my FMU to tempt me, lol! But in the end I gave in, and tested. *sigh* I wish I had more willpower! At 8DPO I am unlikely to see anything anyway, and waiting until tomorrow would have been better. I saw a shadowy line, fat and with some hint of colour, which came up within 2-3 minutes (on the test I've got, you have to read it between 5 and 10 minutes, and discard any results that come up after 10 mins). Normally I would get all excited about that. I still see it tonight when I look at the stick. BUT, I have had so many of these shadowy lines, even though I have had some chemical pregnancies where it was just too early to get a clear positive - so maybe they were positives? I could photograph the lines.... But after so many, ending in a period, I have begun to second guess, and wonder if that's just the way negative looks on those tests? It's annoying if so, because it's a LINE! And a line (in the right time-frame, which it always has been) is a line, right? Urgh. Anyway, so I am calling it a negative, and waiting to see what tomorrow's temp is.

Tomorrow I will be NINE days past ovulation!! I've reached that on the last 3 cycles, but my period has arrived that day on all of them. So far, my temp has dropped on the morning of 9DPO (except last cycle where it was already low-ish anyway! Such wacky temps last cycle!), followed by bleeding later. I'm kind of breathless with anticipation over tomorrow morning's temp! Repeat the cycle with a drop in temp? Or the temp stays up, which gives me a) hope of pregnancy (yay!), or b) hopefully a longer luteal phase than last time! :) I soooooooo hope my temp stays up tomorrow! I'm kind of nervous! I will be disappointed if it drops, because I will expect bleeding to follow, and well, that's a shame. :( This morning I woke up when it was already light, with a dry DRY mouth and almost jumped in a panic because I knew it meant I had been mouth-breathing, which would TOTALLY skew my temp, dropping it down as though I was getting a pre-period drop (when it otherwise wouldn't have)! Thankfully, I glanced around me and saw sleeping little people everywhere, so I shut my eyes (and my mouth, lol!) and went back to sleep quick! ;) When they woke me, I was able to temp accurately. I'm anxious that I'll wake mouth-breathing tomorrow, but with AWAKE children around me, so I will have to temp and get up! I say it every time, but I hate this stage with the One (or two, sometimes) Very Important Day to get an accurate temp.

Today has been mostly uneventful, symptom wise. I feel quite neutral, although I have that "something's afoot" feeling deep inside. Funnily enough, it's quite common for me in my pregnancies, to have a very "absolutely nothing is happening! I don't feel pregnant at all!" feeling between 7 and 9 DPO - I remember Lydia's and Nathan's being like this, but I'm sure some of the others were too.

I am mildly crampy on and off again today. Sometimes the crampy feeling is quite sore, but it really only lasts for little bursts (minutes) and then goes off, and comes back again later. It's across the whole of my lower abdomen between my hips (just above my pubic bone) but it doesn't feel like period pain, quite. It does radiate through to my lower back which is giving me backache more than usual at the moment. I have a sensation that I can't describe in words, it's physical but there's no actual sensation description. In the pit of my abdomen I feel like... something is going on. I would say it's like a sensation of a slightly weighted ball in there, but without the feeling of shape definition that a ball has (I told you I couldn't describe it, lol!). Sometimes I feel uncomfortable like I slightly might need to have a BM, but it's not in the right place, it's in front of that - I am guessing it's uterine in nature, and hopefully pregnancy related! :) I have that sensation right now actually.

One thing I usually have by now if I'm pregnant, is some sort of breast symptoms - I think? Maybe it's a bit later with some of my pregnancies... Anyway I have none of that so far. Yesterday or the day before it was sore to nurse, but it's not too bad now. Elijah and Lydia are breastfeeding CRAZY much. Or asking to, even if I say no. Lydia has been a little more whiney and clingy today and yesterday, than she usually is. All my little nurslings have done that when I was newly pregnant, so I'm taking that as a good sign! ;)

I still have a ridiculously sweet tooth and yearnings for high fat, high sugar food! (I say this whilst eating my second slice of chocolate cheesecake of the day! ;) ) I have no nausea, and my appetite is good. I am still more irritable than usual, but it must be better than it was, because the last few days have been much more manageable. I was super irritable from 2-5DPO, exactly the same as one or two of my other pregnancies, and then I had a break for a few days and then another bout of irritability. In other pregnancies I was "insanely irritable" (!!) at different times, but all in the same kind of time frame (eg. 4-6DPO).

Neil phoned me today from work, to see what my temp was! :) I told him my chart was triphasic, and he sounded excited! He said, "So you think it's a boy?" and I said I only had one day of protein craving (which made me think maybe I was pregnant with a boy), but nothing since, so who knows. He said, "I was kind of hoping it might be a girl... for Lydie's sake at least!" ;) It would be nice for her to have a sister, and I would LOVE that for her! But brothers are wonderful, especially baby brothers! :D I have prayed and prayed for another daughter, but I will be overjoyed with a son. I suddenly was concerned about something for the first time though - the boys have now had the experience of a baby girl, and they are absolutely besotted! They frequently (especially the oldest 3) comment that it would be so lovely if we had another baby girly, because Lydie is so lovely, and "TWO baby girlies would be so sweeeeet!" :) I feel the same! I hope so much that if we have a boy, the children won't be disappointed. They've never been anything but thrilled and excited about each of our babies on the way - gender has never been an issue for them. This time, though, if it's a boy, maybe they'll say they wish it was a girl... I think that would make me feel sad to hear, even if I totally understand, because I'll be carrying that little boy that they're wishing away, and will kind of "feel it" for him... Silly, and probably hormonally so, but anyway! It just occurred to me today, that's all.

One of the first things Neil did when he got home (late - he had to stay late tonight to fix a problem, urgh! Poor man worked 11 hours, with a 2 hour drive either side!!) was to stroke my cheeks to see if my skin was "weirdly soft" (something I chart, because it's a sure sign for me). He is my official skin tester! :P Anyway, he said, "Hmmm... not yet, but getting there!" :)

Oh! One other thing that is really pregnant of me, is that I am absolutely out of puff going up the stairs, or trying to talk on the phone and walk about the house at the same time! I know that sounds daft, but even this early in my pregnancies, that's one thing that's common to all of them. I get out of breath really quickly, and I usually notice it first when I find myself out of breath at the top of the stairs. I didn't yesterday (I remember going up at a jog and feeling fine at the top, and thinking, "Hmmm, not breathless then!" before going to do whatever it was I was up there for!), but today I went upstairs for something and was SO EXCITED to be puffing for air at the top! When Neil phoned me today, the kiddies were being noisy around me, so I closed the living room door and walked about in the hallway and kitchen while talking to him. Again, SO EXCITED (and I told him so!) that I was having to pause in things I was saying to catch my breath properly! :D Eeeeee, whatever happens, this is so pregnant of me! I feel properly pregnant right at this time! Whatever happens... I look out of the window and see blossom and flowers and bright green new leaves, and birds, and just NEW LIFE everywhere, and it makes something inside me leap for joy because as well as just observing it, I feel that I am actually participating in it this year! :) Such blessing!

Well, I think I had better go to bed. It's way too late, and I am tired. I am not yet "pregnant tired"... we'll see how things go. I can't wait to find out my temp in the morning, and I will go from there. If it's up, I MAY test, but I am not sure... I have had a very stark white negative test at 9DPO with Samuel's pregnancy, and I was so discouraged that I didn't bother testing at 10DPO, but when my temp was still up at 11DPO I tested and got a positive! :) So even if I am pregnant, and I test tomorrow, I may not get a positive. So maybe I'll wait... Maybe. I have very bad willpower when it comes to these things, so maybe not, lol! ;) If my temp drops that will save me the decision.

I wrote a post at my arthursmummy blog, at LAST!!! It has the family photo that I posted here, and another one from this month that doesn't have Neil in it (he was taking the photo). I love that one because my littles look so precious, and I love seeing their heights since they are standing. :) Love my baby girly looking so grown up and adorable too! Otherwise it's just a pre-cursor to the posts I plan to write, with a bit of an update on our house move and such. If you're interested, that is. :)

I will update tomorrow! Thanks for the comments (and ELLA!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!! :D )

7DPO - names, just for fun! :)

I know I am getting waaaay ahead of myself (only 7DPO with no guarantee of a positive test ahead!), but Katie asked about names, and so I couldn't help myself looking! ;) Also, I have randomly found myself browsing maternity clothes on eBay, which I haven't done in years. I haven't bought maternity clothes in a long long time, but I just thought I'd have a little look-see! ;)

Here is my current list of names that I like (not yet seen by Neil, and will drastically be shortened once he's seen it, lol!):

Boy:

Charlie
Daniel
Toby
Joshua
Josiah
William



Girl:

Maisie
Isabelle/Isabella
Sophie
Charlotte
Josie
Hannah
Grace (Gracie)
Rosalie
Ivy
Rose

I am sure I will add more names, but these are the first ones I've seen and like. :)

My temp stayed UP this morning, in the "triphasic" range! One more temp that high and I'll have a triphasic chart!! :D I don't know why... I am just SO EXCITED this cycle! Even if it comes to nothing (though I will naturally be disappointed), I am really excited about the possibility of being blessed again! :) Such hope, and joy!

I am mildly crampy, on and off today. Still feeling irritable/PMS-y, and headacheyLast night's dinner left me with a bit of a bitter aftertaste, which both thrills me (only have that when pregnant), and doesn't (reminds me of how yucky things got for seemingly eternal weeks! :/ ). I am nervous about coping with the daily grind with overwhelming nausea for many weeks on end... but I know it will go faster than ever this time (the older I am, the faster the weeks fly by, apparently!), and it'll be soooooooo worth it! :) Eager to temp in the morning, though still too early to test at 8DPO.

6DPO

I haven't got anywhere at all on kiddy updates yet. I have plans to! :) It might take me a while... Here's a family photo taken this month by Nicola's hubby (I met Nicola in bloggyland and now we live really near to her!), to keep you going! :) Ages ago, last time I posted a photo of my children, "anonymous" asked when we were going to cut Matthew's hair already. *sigh* So rude! To pre-empt any such questions: No, not planning to cut it off. Yes, I trim/tidy it now and then. Because he wants it long. Yes, he's very boyish - actually, he is the most "typical boy" of the bunch. Nope, neither he nor I care whether he has long hair or not. My brother's was once longer than mine, in our teens! ;) It's very normal to me. It's HIS hair after all! Neil's family are more "*gasp* Long hair is for girls!" *sigh* But Neil is coping so far. ;)

The children, from left to right, are: Benjamin (5), Arthur (10), Samuel (4), Lydia (17 months), Nathan (7), Matthew (8), Elijah (2). My precious gifts from God! :)

I actually wrote this entry last night, at 5DPO, but I was so tired and had interruptions with Lydia waking and such. So I ended up having to go to bed before I could post anything, and I'm finishing it tonight at 6DPO.

I am now 6 days past ovulation, and really feeling pregnant. I had a weird craving at just 2DPO - obviously the whole world would say that's WAY too early for symptoms, I mean, there's no implantation yet. I know people who have symptoms right from ovulation. I don't think I have ever had symptoms right from ovulation, but I FOR SURE have had symptoms which, for me, are indicative of something going on, from 2/3 days after ovulation, most of the cycles that I've been pregnant. Actually true. And I have had enough experience/conceptions to back it up (including chemical pregnancies, about 20 - though I haven't counted them up as such. Probably more than 20. Which is a bit mind-blowing in itself!). I haven't had those symptoms when not pregnant, after ovulation. I definitely do get "pregnancy" symptoms early so I don't discount anything unusual (or familiar from other pregnancies, including chemical pregnancies) in the first week after ovulating. I write extensive notes (!!) in my private log at my chart, with definite TMI for sharing here! ;) But I am glad that I do because in the past I have been able to copy and paste a few days or a week later, to confirm what I then know. :)

So, at 2DPO (4 days ago) I wrote, simply: "Noticably increased appetite. Flash craving this morning for authentic French restaurant poulet and frites (chicken and chips/fries), like when I was a little girl. Pregnant." ;)

By flash craving (my own term), I mean a sudden, out-of-the-blue, intense sensation of a specific food actually as though it's IN my mouth at that moment. It isn't the same thing as a craving in terms of something I WANT so badly that I must have it. I often don't want it at all, I'm just taken by surprise at the intensity and realistic sensation - that can end up making me crave that food sometimes though, but never at the start. I can taste it completely, or sometimes the flash craving is of a texture as I am biting down on it. Those are 100% undeniably pregnancy symptoms for me. I had that with the texture and taste of a raw mushroom with Matthew at 9DPO (I thought it was earlier, but I checked my blog and it was 9DPO). I know I had it with one of the others, earlier than 9DPO, but I can't remember which pregnancy. I can't find it in my blog for any of my babies, so maybe it was one of my chemical pregnancies - I haven't checked the blog for those yet.

I know it's "too early" at 2DPO, but it's SUCH a pregnant thing, for me.

Not much to report at 3DPO, but at 4DPO I had a huge appetite again, and some hormonal spots on my face. Also have had my "pregnant" CM for a few days now. I was suddenly ridiculously irritable and moody at 4DPO - waaay out of the ordinary sleep-deprived (or even normal hormonal) irritable... I'm less tolerant of noise or trouble (disobeying, lying, talking back especially), and am suddenly flipping out angry, which I really dislike! :/ Having read back all my 2WW blog entries from my other pregnancies, it seems like that's totally normal for me if I'm pregnant! ;) Even though it's not normal for me otherwise. I don't think I had it with Arthur, and one of my other pregnancies. All the rest though, I was commenting on how AWFUL my PMS was, and if I was pregnant, I was worried that I'd continue to be this moody! ;) It didn't last, every time, which is reassuring!

The main thing that made me connect my recent moodiness with pregnancy wasn't my blog, it was Neil. I have been snappy with the children, and on Friday when Neil came home from work, I was so irritable over some tiny minor thing, and he was cheerfully suggesting I calm down, and I shouted at him to "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!!!!" which I NEVER EVER do (I was inwardly actually quite shocked to hear it come out of my mouth, lol!). There was a pause, and he said, "When can you test?" hahaaa! He knows - the man has experience! ;) :P That was the first moment of realisation that my mood was BAD, and that the BAD mood was very pregnant of me! ;) I apologised, but it was really hard to rein in the snappiness (and I failed a lot) after that, even having been made aware of it. The next day (5DPO) was just as bad! Twice I was grumpy with Neil, and the first time when I went back to apologise, he said, "This is pregnancy - exactly what you've been like before." The second time, he just grinned and said, "You are SO pregnant!" :) He's a good man!

5DPO, when I wrote most of this entry above, I was watching my temps because after that spike the day after I ovulated, I did have a fallback to 36.5ish, and then all the subsequent temps were 36.5-something or just below, so pretty much flat temps. Before I used a fertility thermometer, I didn't get to chart temps with the second decimal place, so flat temps were just the same temp every day in a line. For me, flat temps are most often in my pregnancy charts, not my non-pregnant cycles. Years ago, with my first few babies, I was excited to see flat temps at this stage because I wrote that it was "very pregnant of me"! If I was using a normal thermometer like I used to back then, I would have probably had flat temps - the same temperature each day - for the past 4 days, which is very encouraging! :) You can see on my chart that the temp line is a bit wiggly but otherwise very stable from 2-5DPO. I was going to write last night that I was interested to see my temp in the morning. This morning I had a temp jump! :) Up to 36.75, highest temp yet this cycle!

I was mostly curious about today's temp, because late yesterday afternoon, having had no twinges or implantation type pains, or bad cramping or anything (just the odd mild crampiness here and there), I had a sudden "boring" pain just off-centre to my left, about an inch above my pubic bone. I pressed on it to try and relieve the sensation (didn't work), and remarked to Neil about it, because it was so distinct and distracting. I wondered straight away about implantation, because of how it felt. It went away after a bit, but then during the evening I felt some cramping again, quite bad for me in my luteal phase, but in one spot on one side - same exact place as the sudden boring pain from earlier. For the rest of the evening, I had pain of some sort - most of the time still that "boring" pain, but it radiated through to my lower back (which was really quite painful in general, when I walked about and went on with normal activities), and later even radiated to my front thigh on that side. Definitely charting bad cramps at 5DPO, and I had a lot of backache yesterday too.

I was up so late (eating chocolate eclairs, lol! Haven't had them in YEARS, but told Neil when he went to the supermarket to pick up some things, that I needed some eclairs and chocolate! He's so patient and sweet with me!). Anyway, I wrote on my FF chart notes before I went to bed, that I had been "curled up in a ball on the sofa - proper bad cramps across my lower abdomen, like a period, but a bit sharper... almost feels like maybe something is up with my bladder/bowel but neither of those locations seems right. It's burny, searing, boring, bruisey, all at once. Also, if I touch or lightly press on my pubic bone slightly right of centre, it feels like I am pressing a bruise. Pregnant. :P"

The bruised pubic bone sensation is aaaaabsolutely a pregnancy symptom, nothing else, ever. I feel 100% sure I'm pregnant. I am just hoping to keep this little one. Enjoying the experience of each day though, as it comes. :)

I was excited to see my temp jump this morning because it would seem appropriate for it to jump up if implantation started yesterday. Implantation, for me, is always 4-7DPO somewhere, so this is right on time. I am excited to see  now if my temps stay up at a triphasic level, or drop back down. I love a pretty triphasic chart, and I haven't had one for a few babies, so I would love to see one again! :)

A couple of other things worth noting are the typical pregnant extreme gassiness *blush* :) And I have been aware of the physical sensation of reflux (nice!) every day since 4DPO. No actual heartburn with it, which I rarely get now, unless I'm pregnant, but it's not all that often I feel reflux happening, and it happened late at night at 4DPO and again at 5DPO so it was worth nothing as unusual. Today I had actual heartburn at a very random time of day (mid-morning! Unusual!), and have reflux and heartburn this evening.

So that brings me to today, 6DPO! :) My throat is gritty/scratchy and *almost* a sore throat, but not quite. It has been like that since 3 or 4DPO, and I haven't been anywhere to catch a cold, and nobody has one here. I do have hayfever, so I put it down to that at first. My throat feels so dry and tickly, and I am super thirsty all the time. My eyes are dry and stingy too, and I am drinking more than usual these past few days. I thought nothing of that until I was looking through my previous pregnancies for the moody thing, and saw lots of mention of "is it/isn't it a sore throat" as a symptom - it's common enough to be a search option on the chart gallery at Fertility Friend! I have had it before several pregnancies, as a definite pregnancy symptom, and I forgot that, so maybe the scratchy throat is nothing to do with central heating or the time of year! :)

I am still irritable today, but I have managed myself better with my family, I think! :) I have had mild-to-bad cramping on and off today. Always through to lower back, and at one point through to my left buttock when I was sitting with my knees drawn up - same as last night really. I could even chart bad cramps probably, but I cant' remember the day well enough now to be sure (11pm and I fell asleep putting Lydia to bed, so groggy and tired!). Really tired today. Which is suspicious in itself! ;) Sore when nursing a bit today, for the first time this cycle, especially after breastfeeding for a long time (little two nursing a LOT today - they actually have been for a few days, which is another thing I read a lot of in my blog about previous pregnancies... hmmm!). I have had a bit of a headache today, but that might be sinusy because of a bit of hayfever, I guess.

So, I am going to fall into bed now - so tired! Monday tomorrow, and a new week begins. I feel tired just thinking about it! Hopefully I'll get enough sleep, and not wake up with the covers off and my mouth open, lol! I hate when I wake up to temp and there are factors that skew my temperature accuracy going on! I have 3 days until my period would be "due" - at 9DPO, since that's when my period has started the last 3 cycles, so FF has me due that day. I would so hope that I might get a day more in my luteal phase this cycle though... I would like it to lengthen a bit!

I will update tomorrow hopefully! Depending on being able to stay awake to update! :)