He's here!

Elijah Douglas has arrived! :)

Little pickle continued his pattern of unpredictability, and contractions started regularly and painfully literally minutes before we left for the hospital! We waited an hour to see if they'd pick up, so that when we went into hospital we would not need the IV induction (always better natural, as the midwives have kept telling me). After an hour things were definitely hotting up, and I decided to stay and have my baby at home, since I usually labour fairly quickly now.

I was in established labour probably from 11.30am, which the midwives took from Heather's observations - she felt that the contractions became more serious "active labour" from that point (first contraction was 9.30am ish while breastfeeding Samuel to sleep for his nap, right before "going"). At first the contractions were just low soreness and very short (30 seconds maybe) but I was having about 2 or 3 of them in each 10 minute period, so they were pretty regular. I didn't have to breathe through them and I was a bit worried it would all go away! But they got stronger quickly, though not much longer. The crampy pain stayed between contractions within the first hour and it was hard to move or walk about without loads of pain, so I tried to stay still. Heather did have me sit on the birth ball for a while to really do everything I could to get things established. When it looked like things WERE, we called Jackie, and she CAME OVER!!! :) The head of community midwives! She was my main midwife and delivered Elijah, and was WONDERFUL. I couldn't have had a more experienced, knowledgeable, fantastic midwife, and I'm so thrilled and grateful. The second midwive, Karen, was someone I hadn't met before but she was lovely too.

Elijah was born after about 3 hours of established labour, at 2.20pm. Oh my WORD transition and pushing him out was hooooorrrrrrible, hehe! I always say that, because it always is! But so worth it! I had a better time of it this time, mentally, because I felt really familiar with my pattern of labour and could really see the same pattern progressing, which helped me feel more grounded when the pain became unbearable. I used no pain relief, just breathing, and holding Heather's hand.

I really did PUSH him out! I don't often do that with my babies, hehe! I had an urge to push and went with it, and if I got the feeling that I was going to lose it mid-push and start making a ton of noise, I stopped pushing and blew blew blew through the rest of the contraction for all I was worth. I gave birth lying on my right side facing the edge of the bed (facing Heather), and that's where I mostly laboured too. When I could feel his head moving down a bit during transitional contractions, I told them so, and Jackie looked but couldn't see anything. She asked if I could lift my top leg but I said I couldn't, and so Heather lifted it just as a contraction was starting, I had no choice but to push with the feeling, and his head was born very quickly from nowhere! I did make some noise when the head was crowning but not the loud wailing I've made in the past - more just a lower "aaaaaarrrrghhhh", lol! And I rolled my face forwards into the pillow to a) cope with the sensation, and b) stifle the noise for the boys downstairs. I had a clear ring of fire sensation this time, and his head really POPPED out right afterwards. I knew what that meant and I was so relieved! The contraction was already finishing, but the sensation of his body in there was so uncomfortable, so I kept blowing through that feeling until the next contraction came, which was pretty fast. I knew that would be probably the most uncomfortable part (shoulders rotating and birthing always are for me, and that is also when I tear each time), so when the contraction came I pushed but blew once I reached the point of wanting to shout about it, and just tried to let him come at his own speed (which was very fast but felt like a long and dreadful sensation all the same!). In my mind I was frantically saying to myself, "He's here, he's here, this part means he's here, let him come, let him come!" to try and ride out the moment until it was over. I knew it wouldn't take long, but I just needed something to cope with the awfulness of it!

And then it WAS over! :) Oh the relief and the absolute joy, looking down and reaching for him as they passed this TEENY little person up between my legs and onto my tummy. He was fairly quiet at first but soon became very agitated and cried quite a lot for a long time, even with snuggles and lots of love on my tummy/chest! He pinked up almost immediately.

Elijah had a true knot in his cord!!! How incredibly scary, if I had known that while still pregnant, and how thankful I am to God for sparing his life. Jackie said she rarely sees a true knot, and she's surprised his heartrate was so good all the way through labour right to the very point of birth! I asked if it could account for his slower growth, but she didn't think so particularly. He's very healthy and his cord was pulsating well still. At the scans, they had done dopplers on his umbilical cord several times to check the resistance of the flow, and it was normal and fine. I took a photo of the cord and placenta, which I could post but it's pretty gory! ;) I will if you want me to though! :)

His placenta took AGES to come out! Aaaages. I had a natural third stage as I had wanted, though they were ready to the syntometrine injection because it really wasn't coming out. I kept having contractions and it still didn't appear, and Elijah had a nice long feed but still nothing! Eventually they had me get out of bed and sit on a potty on the chair to see if gravity helped, but it didn't, and I became very tired being upright and didn't feel nice after a while, so they put me back to bed.

Eventually I wondered about the whole pregnancy/pre-labour thing being SO very contrary! No matter what decision I made, at that point something would change and I would have to do the opposite thing, and then when I thought that was going ahead, something would change again, hehe! So I said this to the midwives, and then said, "I'm saying out loud (looking sternly at my baggy tummy and directing my words in its general direction!), "I'm going to have the syntometrine injection now"!!" and then I literally immediately had a contraction and pushed, and out came my placenta in one go, all intact, lol! It was so funny because of how no matter what I've said over the past 4 days, the opposite has then occurred, and it happened just the same for the placenta in such a funny way! ;) I think it was over an hour or 90 minutes waiting for it, up to that point! They let me go longer than they usually would, just to try and keep it all as natural as possible.

They couldn't 100% confirm that all the membranes were out, because there were some ragged parts, but they told me that my body will work any little bits out, and I need to call them if I have large clots or heavy bleeding, so they can check me out.

I felt kind of feverish the last hour or two of my labour, and I took my temperature (as I had been doing 4-hourly) a couple of hours before the end, but it was normal. I figured I just felt hot because it was a REALLY hot day in a south-facing bedroom, and I was labouring. When Elijah was born and they took his temperature, it was up a little, and my heart sank. It was 37.6, so they uncovered him (he was skin-to-skin at the time, but covered with a towel for warmth) and his temp came down to normal really quick. All his other obs were fine. I wanted to take my own temperature because I did feel a bit too hot, not-right hot, you know? Eventually after the placenta palava, they did my obs and my temperature was almost the same as Elijah's had been - 37.5. I was worried it was a sign of infection, after how long my waters were broken, but they said to take some paracetamol and they would take it again before they left. It came down to almost normal, and has been back up to 37.2 (barely a raised temp at all) once the paracetamol wore off, but I've taken some more now. They said they aren't concerned about my temp, and that once the day's heat cools off and I get some rest, if it's spiking up then I need to call them and they will check me and provide me with antibiotics in case of infection, if that's the case. Otherwise they'd expect it to stay low or non-existant. An infection would make it spike higher, or produce other symptoms along with a fever eventually, so I am just keeping an eye on myself really.

I have felt remarkably well since giving birth! Probably the most well I've ever felt after birth, which is lovely! I didn't feel weak and wobbly at all after the first hour or two, and usually that doesn't happen for the first 24 hours or so. I have been able to get up and go to the loo without shuffling along feeling weak and dreadful, verrrry slowly! ;) Also, I did not need any stitches this time!!!!! :D My very first time ever not having stitches! Jackie found that I did have a tear, but it was so small. She said that she could put a couple of stitches in for me, but it wasn't bleeding at all so she felt it would be fine to just leave it to heal, if I wanted. And I DID want! ;) Stitches are no fun!

I am not feeling any soreness at all from my perineum, and weeing stings a little bit but it's perfectly bearable. My blood loss is normal at the moment and I am not having a horrible time at all with after pains - maybe the paracetamol is helping there though?

Elijah is breastfeeding well, and sleeping sooooo cutely in between. He did a huuuuuge meconium poo all over my tummy within minutes of birth, and the little waters that were left to go pop as his head was born had some meconium in them, but not much. He has done a huge meconium poo in his first nappy so far, but I am not sure if he's weed yet. I am doing his observations 2-hourly around the clock - temperature, respirations, heart rate, etc. I use my stethoscope for his heart rate. Everything is normal so far, except that last time I took his temp it was a bit too low, so I've put him in a sleepsuit instead of a vest (it's so hot, and he's on my body most of the time so I'd thought a vest was enough). Hopefully his temp has come up now. It's time to do his next set of obs so I must go.

Here are a few photos of the big boys meeting their new baby brother for the first time, about 2 hours after he was born, and then one of him finally dressed in something at about 4 hours old. He's so delightfully gorgeous and tiny (oh I almost forgot! He weighed in at 6lbs 8oz, sweet little manny!) and I think he looks most like newborn Nathan, but he's very much his own little person with his own look. ALL the boys are ecstatic about him, and Samuel is very relaxed and smiley around him too.

Thank you for praying and commenting! I really appreciate it! :)

40 weeks, 4 days - STILLLLLL pregnant!

There's really no time for an update but I must just dash one off quickly!

Midwife came round and found Elijah too high (totally un-engaged) to safely perform a sweep, in case of cord prolapse, so I had to go into hospital (with Heather) for induction.

When we got there, they checked my tummy first and thought he was actually WELL engaged, but couldn't be sure if it was a bottom or a head! :S So I had to decide what to do. I decided to go with the option they gave of having an internal examination to determine his position, and if his head was down AND low enough, to have a sweep. If they found bulging waters, then NOT to break them as a method of inducing labour, because they said if I had just the sweep then they would let me go home and wait for labour to start a bit longer, and sweeps have always worked for me in the past, so I went with that.

They found his head nice and low, hooray! I was 2-3cm dilated, cervix at the front (ready for labour, good sign), thick but soft. So they did the sweep, which was amazingly NOT painful, just a bit uncomfy - I was so surprised! :) She found no membranes to break, but felt that he had them tightly plastered over his head, thus nothing bulging to pop. She said if that's how I normally "do it" then no wonder they always break right as the babies are crowning, and that's good. The leak of amniotic fluid that I have is like Nathan's one, from higher up (the hindwaters), and it's continuous but not very plentiful.

So I came home (so relieved!) and waited. EVERYONE was so confident that I would go into labour, but somehow I just didn't share their confidence. My mum said on the phone that I was being negative about it, but honestly I did not feel confident that I would actually start contracting. I know there was every reason that I WOULD, and my cervix was obviously ready, but still...

So I was exhausted and still had a horrid headache last night, and went to bed at 10.30ish, having had a few random "tightenings" since the sweep, some sore in my groin, lower back and under my bump at the front, which was vaguely encouraging. It did seem to me that it coincided with Elijah moving around vigorously though, which I thought was more likely to be my womb just being irritable and reacting solely because of that, but anyway...

It took me a little while to go to sleep, and I woke at 2am and then for the day pretty much at 5.15am when Samuel woke Neil up and they went downstairs. I took my temperature pretty much 3-hourly (it's fine) overnight because they want me to take it 4-hourly to keep an eye for signs of infection since my waters broke so long ago. It's still fine this morning, but I have a totally calm womb - no contractions - and I am not in the least bit surprised for some reason. I can't explain it, it's weird!

I went back to bed at 6.15 - all the boys were up by then, and I had a chance to calmly talk to them about what to expect for the day ahead, that Mummy was going to go into hospital since I had no contractions (Arthur asked the instant he woke up if I was having any, and was so disappointed and anxious when I said not, poor love!), and I would get a special medicine to help the baby come quicker, and I would need to stay there to have the baby. Yesterday they were prepped for this because Neil told them the same stuff while they were out at the park (I had to go while they were out and I called them on the mobile to let them know), but although they accepted it, some of them were a bit upset. Matthew in particular felt very sad about me not being home for a couple of days, and was quite tearful on the way home :( It's just SO much better for us ALL when I have homebirths. *sigh*

So, they are duly prepped by a cheerful mummy in advance, which is better, I hope. I have phoned Heather and she's on her way round. I phoned labour ward and they know I'm coming and are ready for me. I had breakfast (cereal) at 5.30ish because I don't want to eat any more once things are getting going, and I pretty much knew I'd be going in at that point. Since then I went back to bed and dozed/slept until 7ish, and when I woke I was having waves of crampy sensations, front and back. They felt like contractions, but my tummy wasn't going hard and they were VERY short (like 10-20 seconds) and came every few minutes. If I lay on my side they were there, but if I lay on my back to see if they carried on, they didn't. I decided I still felt really tired so I had a bit more sleep until 8ish, and there was no change with the crampy sensations, so I am getting up and getting going.

I am dreading a canula in my arm! I get really panicky about having an IV! But I do feel at peace about it, like it's for the best - I will be relieved to get antibiotics going in for my little one now. I am getting worried about him even though he is probably absolutely going to be fine. It will be extra peace of mind to know I've had the antibiotics to cover him for infection (and me too, I suppose). He is active this morning so that's reassuring too. He was SO active (I mean, like he wasn't that thrilled, lol!) after the sweep, for an hour or so! ;)

I do love him SO much. I am excited like I can't describe about getting to meet him today. I just can't wait to have my arms filled with him, but I'm feeling kind of scared about the process necessary to get to that point. I'm anxious about labour and birth suddenly, no matter whether it's at home or not! I know Heather will help me stay calm and I will try to keep focused on God. Oh I must try to remember to tell you (after it all, obviously) about the midwife, Anne, who came round to do a sweep yesterday and ended up sending me in. Don't let me forget! ;)

I am not sure if I'll be able to update in hospital. They do have pay-as-you-go internet but I am thinking Heather will have me staying quiet and trying to keep as "inside myself" as possible during labour, which will not involve trying to type on an annoying keyboard! ;) I don't have a mobile phone (gasp, lol!) so can't text an update to Facebook even. I don't have any idea what lies ahead in terms of staying in hospital afterwards. I know their policy is to monitor the baby for like 48 hours or something after birth with a GBS+ mother, but I don't intend to follow that anywhere other than my own home (I am perfectly able to monitor him if he seems healthy at birth, like I have for my others). I do have the issue of probably not feeling up to getting out of bed to COME home for a while... I'm not sure how that will work. I know I will be longing to get home to my little ones, but not sure if I can physically manage it for a while. I have told the boys I will likely be staying overnight tonight at the hospital, if everything goes fine and he's born today.

I'm so nervous about complications! I hope the baby copes well with labour, and that the induction works well and quickly. I know C-section isn't the end of the world or anything, but I can't tell you how desperately I wish to avoid one! Obviously if it's necessary for the baby to be born alive, then ABSOLUTELY. But I'm scared of ending up needing one. Please pray!

I'll update asap! It's a beautiful day to be born here - it's going to be hot and sunny and gorgeous all day. Probably too hot for a homebirth, for me personally, so at least I'll get to have him on a lovely day whilst enjoying the "cool" of the hospital! ;)

40 weeks, 3 days - still here!

Quick update!

It's now 12.55pm the next day after my waters broke, and I'm still at home. Having the most fabulous care from the head of community midwives, Jackie, who is calling me from home regularly to check on me, and telling me she plans to come out to attend my labour and birth when it starts! HOW WONDERFUL!

The only thing is, I am still not in labour. I have had NO contractions whatsoever, so far. This morning I have been having light pink staining on my pad along with the continuing waters draining, and that's really encouraging because Heather says that is a bloody show - labour should not be far off. Last time I had a bloody show without any other signs of labour was with Benjamin, and contractions started probably 4 or 5 hours later. So far there's still nothing, and I am not sure what to expect.

A midwife is on her way over right this minute to give me "a really good sweep", which is a slightly nerve-wracking thought! :S The idea is that it should put me into labour pretty quickly (today) and then I can hurry up and have my little manny. If it doesn't, then I will need to go into hospital - there's no exact time-frame, but probably this evening? Or tomorrow morning? Because the risk of infection to the baby is gradually increasing (it's tiny, but still there), and will become more so once somebody has done an internal examination and a sweep. The Group B Strep is the only reason for any pressure of any sort, but even so the risks are still low to Elijah. I have to keep remembering that, because there is so much HYPE about GBS, but the risks are actually really really (really) low. Jackie and Heather keep reminding me which is very reassuring and helpful! Jackie says she would probably be erring on the side of caution later today if nothing was happening, and suggesting (though she said I absolutely don't HAVE to) that I go into hospital and get labour started so that it isn't going on too long. I am open to that, I just wish I would start contracting already so that I can have this baby at home! I will be anxious about him when he's born even so, hoping that he's okay. But I just want to HAVE him already! Please please body, pleeeease start contracting.

Heather brought round some clary sage oil last night and put it in her oil burner, because apparently it can get contractions going. But it did nothing at all for me - I had the quietest evening for BH contractions for ages, even! Ah the irony! ;) Today I have refreshed the clary sage and have been on my birth ball bouncing a bit. There's not that much in the way of waters leaking. They are draining continually but in very small amounts - it's a tiny leak more than a gusher, and I should think he is still surrounded by pretty much all of his amniotic fluid still. I don't think I've lost all that much in total. I've soaked through three maternity pads since last night, so that's not that much considering the pints and pints that are in there! ;) The fluid is still nice and clear, and Elijah is moving around a lot today.

I didn't sleep too well - well it took me a while to get to sleep with RLS again, but eventually I got up and stretched my legs and directed the fan at my feet, and went to sleep pretty quickly after that. I don't know what time it was, maybe 2am? Then I slept solidly until about 5.15, and dozed until 6.30 when I got up (the boys were up already). I had a horrible headache, which I had last night and it didn't go away with painkillers. It was fine while I was sleeping, but within about 60 seconds of being awake it came back. It's in my eyes and sinuses and forehead, ugh. It's definitely the most bothersome thing I'm dealing with today. I have had another round of painkillers this morning but it has persisted all the same.

Heather is running a stall at a craft fair this morning and for the next hour probably, but it's in our local area, and she has her phone with her. She took her hubby and daughter with her so that they can take over the instant she needs to dash off to be with me. I would sort of like her to be with me now, especially for the sweep, but there's nothing actually happening so she might as well finish her craft fair. I've phoned her several times though, for advice and to update her, so we can be in touch just fine.

I have had a bath (having cleaned it first) - Heather said it was fine to have a bath in my own bath tub! Now I have laid a maternity bed pad on the bed and I await the midwife! Please pray that this sweep will work almost immediately (the last one got me very crampy from about 10 mins after being done, but Matthew's did not work until the next morning) and I will have my baby today - at home would be so so so wonderful. But I want what's best and safest for him. At this stage, hospital is not yet the safest place for him to be born. Home is safer until there's enough of a risk to him, and there isn't just yet. I am taking my temperature every 4 hours as they've instructed me to, so if that goes up then I will go in straight away.

I will try to keep my blog posted, but if I can't, I will update when I can afterwards. If you know me on Facebook, please please don't mention Elijah's name by mistake when commenting on my statuses! If you happen to see someone who's done so, would you please mind sending them a quick message so they can delete it asap. His name is the only thing I haven't announced to my real life friends and some family members and the entire of my church, all of whom follow me on Facebook, and there have been a couple of slip-ups already from online friends who know Elijah's name - thankfully I saw them quickly and deleted the comments, hopefully before anyone who didn't know saw them! I can't wait to announce his name and birth details - that part is SO much fun! :)

Okay, better get off the laptop ready for the midwife. I think I will lie down and rest until she's here because my head is sore and I feel quite tired now. I did sleep again from about 7.45 to just before 9am when the phone woke me (Heather was checking on me). It felt like good sleep, but the headache started again right after I woke. I'm eating and drinking, and otherwise feeling fine, but it's juuuust starting to become a little bit too hot for comfort in terms of the weather, even with the windows open and a good strong breeze blowing. Hopefully I'll keep cool enough. The weather could easily cause me headaches like this, but I did have a hormonal cry yesterday morning and it seems like every time I cry I end up with horrible sinusy headaches the next day, for ages! Hopefully it'll go away soon though. Will be back when I can! :)

40w2d - waters have broken! :)

Today Elijah has moved SO VERY LITTLE, it has been worrying. When he hadn't moved at all except for one little shoulder shrug by 11.30am, I phoned Heather and she said to call the Day Assessment Unit, because it would be wise to go and have him checked out. She said he could just be gearing up for labour, but it's better to check if it was 5 or 6 hours. My doppler battery was dead so I couldn't check him, and it was a worry because I had done the cold drink/bar of chocolate trick and he still hadn't moved.

I phoned the DAU and they said to come in, so Neil came home from work as fast as he could (took an hour, which is normal), and then I picked Heather up and we went to the hospital. While we were on the way, Elijah suddenly pushed his little feet about! Just for a minute, but it was such a relief!

We had quite a wait at the hospital before they had a bed free for me, but then they hooked me up to the monitors and all was fine. His heartrate was in the 130s and 140s most of the time, but after a while he started to be REALLY active, the little monkey! ;) His heart rate responded great to his movements, and they monitored him for half an hour. I had two contractions during that time, just BHs but it was nice to see the proper little "hills" on the trace all the same!

Anyway, that was that. They were happy with him and said maybe he's just gearing up for labour (everyone is saying that!).

I was sitting on the kitchen bench, having made fairy cakes (yay, the last baking item I wanted to get done - I did flapjacks last night!) and macaroni cheese for dinner. Neil was serving the food and I was chatting to him, when suddenly I felt a sort of.... leaky let-down feel. I didn't mention it to Neil, I said I was just going to the loo, and went to check on what it was. I was hoping it might be a show of some sort - I could already tell it wasn't urine - it just wasn't coming from the right place.

When I pulled down my underwear I had a pantyliner on, and whatever fluid it was had no colour. There wasn't much at all, so I sat down on the toilet, and then some fluid sort of fell out of me into the water. Just like that! And then nothing more. I looked down and could see that it was cloudy/white in the water. I wiped and basically had a lot of mucus plug with whatever else was there, but nothing bloody. After I emptied my bladder there was still the odd leaky feel, so I put another pantyliner on, and went downstairs to tell Neil that something was leaking, and mayyybe it could possibly be my waters? I didn't know at the time, but it was certainly occuring to me that it might be. I was just talking to him (standing up in the kitchen) when there was that same sort of slow let-down feel of fluid, and I went back upstairs to check it while everyone else started dinner.

Nothing much on the pad, but definitely something. I sat down on the toilet again and there was a tiny leak into the water (not wee). Then nothing more. I decided to lean right back on the seat and then right forwards, and right back again, and sure enough when I leaned back some fluid leaked out. It was still clear/cloudy-looking in the water.

I phoned Heather straight away and she said to put a big pad on, lie down for half an hour, and then stand up, and if my waters had broken I would know about it! ;) So I called down to Neil and he came out of the kitchen (I really didn't want to alert the boys), and I told him what she'd said.

I lay down for 30 mins, and Elijah was SO active the whole time! Downstairs I could hear the boys practically manic and hyper - they've been SO difficult today, and Samuel hasn't wanted me to leave the room which isn't like him, so that was a hmmm moment for me as well. When I got up, I felt some leaking, but not much. I sat back down on the bed and sort of rolled down to one side, legs still over the edge, and then back up to sitting, and down to the other side, and yeahhhh - definitely leaking fluid! So I phoned Heather back and she said that was definitely my waters having broken!

I can't believe my waters have broken BEFORE labour! Urgh. I am not sure if I will be able to have this baby at home, because of the Group B Strep - I have to go in if they break early. Right now it's 9pm (2 hours later) and I am not having any contractions, and I'm continually leaking small amounts of fluid. I managed to do the usual bedtime routine with the boys, and they're all asleep. Heather is on her way over and then I guess when I call the midwife I will be asked to go in. I don't know.

One way or the other, Elijah is coming! :) Please please pray that if I am to have a hospital birth there will be no need for interventions (other than maybe they'll induce me), and everything will go quickly and smoothly. I will have to stay in for Elijah to be monitored at least 24 hours, which will be hard for me hormonally speaking, since I always can't stand to be away from my other children. So thankful Heather will be with me! I need to go now since she's on her way, and I haven't phoned my mum to update her yet.

Hopefully May 26th will be Elijah's birthday! I can't wait to hold his sweet little self! I will update when I can, but I am not sure when that will be.

40 weeks, 2 days

Just a quick post if I can manage one, because I didn't get round to the usual evening bulletin (!) last night, and now it's the morning I haven't got much time with the little ones up and about.

Yesterday Neil stayed home all day!!! :) In the morning I had quite a few strong BHs though nothing remotely regular, and I had a SHOW!!! So exciting! It was not a bloody show, so nothing that tells me for sure that labour is on the way imminently, but well enough mucus plug to be a proper show. Neil took the boys to the park in the morning before the heat of the day set in, and then phoned work to say I'd had a show (which occurred while they were out) and decided to take the day as holiday time if labour didn't start. Work have been very good and he hardly has any work to do there at the moment anyway, because they know I'm about to have a baby so they've pretty much cleared his calendar and given him temporary bits and pieces to do. Makes for a bit of a boring time for him there while he waits, but it's easy for him to drop it and go when he needs to without impacting on the work being done, so that's good.

Anyway, such a lovely lovely relief, to know the boys were getting out in the lovely weather. They were right to go out in the morning. It was 82 degrees (28C) in the afternoon and kind of muggy with it, and we all just flaked out wearing as little as possible with the curtains closed to keep the sun out. The air outside was much much warmer than inside, so we had to keep the windows shut too, urgh. NOT a day to give birth!

How I wished I would have a baby yesterday! But when I was trying to rest during the afternoon I realised it was a BAD day to have a homebirth. Baaaad. My bedroom is where I give birth, and it faces south. It's a tiny bedroom and when I'm labouring we keep the door shut. Even with the fan on full-blast and the blackout curtains shut (and window, to keep the hot air out), it was pretty unbearable to try to even rest in, let alone labour and give birth. Today is meant to be a bit cooler, but I'm not sure now. It looks like it's going to get as hot as yesterday to me... Anyway, hot enough for the bedroom to be pretty awful again, so I guess it wouldn't be great to have to try and labour in there again this afternoon. Evenings are obviously better in there with the window open, without the sun on the front of the house, and the mornings have a lovely cool breeze until noon-ish. But it doesn't get comfortable in the bedroom until about 4am! :S We do have an air conditioning unit that we can plug in and hang the hose out of the boys' bedroom window, but if my door is closed for labour and birth then I won't feel the effects of that anyway. We had to switch it on in the end yesterday, and it made the boys' room much more bearable for bedtime.

The night before last (after I last updated) I had SUCH a bad sleep! My RLS was the worst it has been, and even my usual stretches didn't make any difference. I couldn't get cool enough even with the fan on full, 2 feet from the bed, and the window and curtains wide open! The main distraction was that my feet felt really swollen and burning, and I couldn't elevate them properly since I can't lie on my back without feeling lightheaded now my bump is this big and heavy. I just tossed and turned and got up and stretched my legs, and did it all over again, until after 3am. A fox was dragging a bin about in the street for a while which was distracting! ;) I must have dozed off sometime between 3 and 4am, but I woke on the dot of 4am from a fragmented dream as though I had just had a shallow sleep a few minutes long. I had to go for a wee, and then thankfully I went to sleep, but woke at 5.45 and couldn't get back to sleep after that. Ugh! So thankful that Neil was home, but all the times I tried to go to bed and get some sleep, I just couldn't drop off no matter what I tried. My legs went horribly jumpy every time I lay down, or even sat still. In the end when they went out, and I had a show (yay!), I had a bath (trying to keep those quite frequent now, knowing that I could be giving birth soon!) and then pumped up the birth ball which I found at the bottom of my homebirth box. I thought I had lost the plug for it, but I found it in the bedside table drawer, yay!

I sat on the birth ball in my bedroom and bounced while I prayed through the prayers that Heather printed out and laminated for me when I was expecting Benjamin - they are based on the ones at the back of the book "Supernatural Childbirth" and I love them because they're so declarative and faith-based! They soothe me and make me feel more confident about what's ahead, and about my baby and myself being well. One of them is specifically a prayer against fear, which is very apt for me at pretty much all times! After I prayed, I sang some worship songs for a while and bounced some more. It was actually a really lovely time! Then I felt tired out, and tried to rest again, but to no avail. I kept going to the loo and checking but I had no more mucus plug.

Most of the day I felt kind of spacey and lightheaded, but that could easily have been tiredness or the heat in the afternoon. I tried to keep drinking, but I didn't have much of an appetite again. Late afternoon I had another show, maybe even a little bigger than the previous one! Still no blood in it though, but it encouraged me all the same. I also felt very very crampy and sore under my bump and in the small of my back, and I had to walk about very slowly holding my bump up a bit - it just felt tight and stiff and sore underneath.

As I was breastfeeding Samuel at bedtime last night, I started to have regular BH contractions again, which I could feel very pressurey in my groin, and quite sharply under my bump. Some of them were sharp in my cervix too, so all of the discomfort was VERY encouraging, but the actual contractions I was aware could be just the usual evening bout of BHs. This time I did my best to completely ignore everything, and get on with various activities and move about plenty if I felt like it - change positions and whatnot. TRY to make them go away, and if they didn't then I would maybe pay them more attention. I didn't time them in the slightest.

They obviously did fizzle out but I had them most of the evening - not as frequent or regular as the evening before, I don't think, but then I wasn't paying them much attention.

This morning I woke from a MUCH better sleep! Probably one of the best sleeps I've had in a while actually, which is so nice! My legs were jumpy as I got in bed, but it was my swollen burning feet that prevented me from sleeping again, so after a while of trying to elevate them without success, I went to the bathroom and got a cold wet facecloth and a towel. I balled the towel up on the bed, put my feet on it, and the facecloth on top of my feet, and aimed the fan (on full blast) at my feet. Bliss! I was asleep within probably 15 minutes! :) I did wake at 4.45am for a wee, but other than that I slept right through! When I woke up at 6.45 I rolled over in bed and my lower back seemed to be in a tight painful cramp which made it reeeeeally sore to roll over. I didn't really go back to sleep until Neil came in to wake me at 7.15, but I had a couple of tight BH contractions in that time. Being upright is less sharp and painful under my bump this morning, but my lower back is constantly sore and tight. I wonder if that could just be from bouncing on the birth ball? I am not used to any sort of exercise (unfortunately!) so I think it could just be that...

Kids are going crazy so I will be back later.