So I went for my scan and all is well with my little miss or mister! :) The sonographer, unfortunately, seemed rather annoyed to see me, acting like she was supressing the urge to speak frankly to me, and instead saying in an "I'm cross but I'm going to throw this little laugh in with my tense tone so it seems light and cheery" way, that she *told* me there was a large area of bleeding, and she *told* me that I should expect to have some bleeding. Up popped the baby on the screen and she turned it very quickly to me, saying, "See? Baby is just fine, and *there's* the area of bleeding from last time."
It really annoyed me, and made me feel tense and unhappy (and constantly apologising for wasting her time, which of course she laughed at and said, "Oh don't worry!"), because I don't think she understood what had just happened, or that I didn't even make the appointment myself! I tried to tell her, but she was being "brisk" and kept cutting me off. I did get the part out about the midwife making the appointment for me, and also the fact that it was "pouring" bleeding, which I hadn't expected from what she'd said, but I'm honestly not sure what she even listened to.
Also, the "very large" area of bleeding from 2 weeks ago is still there, but it's only when I spoke to a nurse (no doctors available this time) afterwards that I made a point of asking for the measurements, and then had to actually ASK, "Is it bigger than before?" And she had to admit that it was bigger than before. They both had said it was probably "just how I was going to do things this pregnancy", and "it was probably just part of the original bleed coming out". Well, I don't buy it, and so my confidence in their reassurance is shaken. I'm not daft, and I have a LOT of experience of bleeding. (oh, and re. the question in my comments last entry: 1) Please don't be "anonymous"! I really don't like anonymous comments. :/ 2) Yes, you thought right - I did bleed in all but one of my previous pregnancies. What of it? I am not sure I understand the point of the question... I have only had *pouring* bleeding in my 3rd pregnancy and this one, though. The others ranged from spotting to heavy period. Is there a point to the question, or was it to infer that I should know all about bleeding by now and not be so stressed by it?!). I full well KNOW that fresh blood is red, older blood is brown, and really old blood is almost black in colour. I'm not about to run back to have another ultrasound 9 days after the last one, knowing I have a big haematoma in there, with a good amount of brown/black blood on my underwear all of a sudden. I feel a bit annoyed that they think I don't know better!
This bleeding was FRESH. Not all of it, so I am sure it was washing out some of the older blood with it, but for the most part it was RED. Proper fresh blood red, and lots of it. Also, how does a pool of old blood suddenly POUR out in a torrent that doesn't stop, and THEN the next day none of it has reduced from last time on the scan, but instead the size of the haematoma has increased?!!! Please, people. It's obvious to me that there was a new influx of blood to the same area, and not a small amount of it either. I don't understand why they wouldn't tell me that and discuss it with me, or maybe that they wouldn't actually think of it as a probability?! I told them both that my bleeding last time was red and pouring. That after my scan, it faded to more like a heavy RED period, and then to brown, and finally to light brown spotting, and then it was gone. Two days later, red and pouring again. Why don't they listen to me and see that it's not the same old blood from last time?! I'm so frustrated. My mum thinks that because there's nothing they can do about it either way, they just want to wash their hands of me so I won't keep on using up resources while we see what happens. :/ Possibly.
So, of course this time, the red bleeding faded to like a normal (red) period, and then brown but still fairly heavy the next day. It is now almost black but heavy enough that I need to wear sanitary pads, not those little pantyliners. That is what I am used to with pregnancy bleeds. They start, and then stop, and the "clearing" of the resulting haematoma is exactly like this. I am 100% sure I had two separate haemorrhages, but from the same source, or at least into the same exact place, which is why they won't entertain the fact that I had a bleed twice, just that it's all the same thing from the first time. It is important to me because one bleed that heals up and then clears out, is one thing. Repeated heavy bleeds from the same source worries me more, because it seems like something hasn't healed up, or is not right somehow, to allow that much heavy bleeding to reoccur. I know there's nothing anyone can do though, and for now my little one is safe and well. I hope and pray that this time the area heals up. The sonographer did note that there was a small area of the haematoma that is beginning to clot, which is good, I guess. I am thinking that was part of the previous bleed? The rest isn't clotting yet (shouldn't it be, after almost 2 weeks?! Another thing that makes me think a new bleed has disturbed the area).
Rebecca, thank you for saying about the rectal pain/pressure, and your concerns! I appreciate it! :) I don't think I can just go and get a colonoscopy - it's not that easy in the UK to just get one. I don't have any rectal symptoms outside of these two bleeds, and the sensation is identical to the pressure and discomfort that I feel in early labour, with my uterus pressing on it when it is contracted. That was what worried me. During these two bleeds, for the first 24 hours, or most of that time, my uterus was in a constant hard ball, low in my abdomen, so I knew it was contracted. It was the same when I had this type of bleed with my 3rd baby. It feels like a hard ball pressing on a not-necessarily-empty rectum, which is either uncomfortable or painful. I'm usually constipated which didn't help the sensation! As soon as my uterus eased up, the pressure and discomfort went away, and I haven't had any symptoms moving my bowels or anything. I saw a GI specialist last year because I had bloating and pain and nausea, etc. with GERD symptoms, and he was very thorough feeling my entire abdomen for masses and such, and didn't find anything abnormal enough to consider an invasive test, but said I had motility issues (which I haven't fixed!). I hope it's not wrong that I'm not feeling too concerned about the rectal pain and pressure because I know it from previous uterine episodes and all is well once that has calmed down.
I'm so grateful that my baby is okay. He/she is doing so well! :) Crown-to-rump measurement at 11 weeks and 4 days was 52.9mm, which gave the baby a gestational age of exactly 12 weeks on the nose! So, the first few scans showed 3 days behind my dates (I know when I ovulated, so there's no dispute over the ACTUAL gestation), and then finally the last scan at 10w2d, the baby measured exactly 10w2d, and now he/she is measuring 3 days ahead! :) I guess there was a growth spurt right before this scan, and there will be a slow-down to keep things on an even keel.
This time, the baby was very active! It's the first time I'd seen this baby active. It was moving its arms and legs about, ad doing a sort of hip-twist thingy as though it was shifting on its back to move into a position on its side instead. The baby eventually lay facing away from us, and pulled its little legs up so that we got basically a little pair of buttocks on the screen, haha! I admit, I thought, "Ah, it's a boy!", lol! I get a lot of "SEE MY BOTTOM!!!" at home with six little boys, hehe! ;)
The nub was VERY visible. :) Way too early to bother taking note of it, of course, at only 11w4d. All nubs at that stage are flat and "girly" looking. My baby measured 12 weeks, which is slightly more accurate (only slightly though, at the early end of 12 weeks), but I knew it wasn't accurate, gestationally, so... The nub was flat, and what they would call "early but girly" on in-gender.com. ;) I am wondering if I might see it angle up by my next scan (11 days to go!), because there was a bit of a bump on the end of it, more on the top side of the nub than the underside, and if I remember correctly, those in the "know" at in-gender say that is more likely to be a boy nub in the making, than a girl. Also I think Lydia's nub was so flat that it almost pointed down a bit at the end, whereas this baby's nub, although flat and parallel so far, definitely doesn't point down at the end. I tried to get a good eye on it as often as I could in the short scan, though my head was twisted upside down a bit, lying on the bed to see the sonographer's screen. I wondered if it might not be quite as parallel to the spine as Lydia's had been, and this is only at 11w4d! So surely that gives it a more likely chance of angling up, as boy nubs do, in the next week. I'll know what's it's been doing in 11 days when I see it again! :) I will know for SURE, at least there's that. So long as I can see the nub - and it was so very clear this time, that I'm sure I'll be able to see it clear as day at 13 and a half weeks - all I have to note is whether it's flat and girly (seen one of those pretty recently so I'm familiar, and have just seen a girly nub at this baby's last scan, so it will either be the same, or will have changed), or angled up, and the answer will be that simple. :) No doubts at 13+ weeks, at all. For me, it's almost as sure as a gender scan later on, unless this baby happens to be in the minority and have a nub that's in the "grey area" - barely angled at all, but possibly *some* angling! That will be frustrating, but oh well, I will just have to wait until the gender scan! :) I haven't had a grey area baby yet though! :D I totally know what all sorts of boy nubs look like.
I do wonder now if this is another boy... I have a girl vibe, honestly. But I don't trust it! I have had those before, with some of my sons! ;) This pregnancy I am now far enough along to say that I haven't got much interest at ALL in protein. Something will smell good and I will want to eat it, but not necessarily for the protein. I haven't craved any protein this pregnancy, not even eggs like with most of my boy pregnancies. I haven't ONCE desired beans and egg on toast with grated cheese on top, which is unusual to say the least! The only pregnancy I have had like this is Lydia's, so along with my mind-full-of-thoughts-of-girl-babies, I definitely have a girl vibe. Except for the bump on that nub... and the morning sickness - when did that actually start?! It started and then went away, at a girly time, and then came back at a boy time! lol! And then there's the whole thing where it's surely RIDICULOUS that I can have six boys in a row with nary a daughter in sight, and then all of a sudden have two girls in a row! Doesn't seem likely! ;)
So tomorrow is that wonderful milestone - 12 weeks pregnant, which means goodbye first trimester, hello second trimester! Yay! I say this every time (because people always feel the need to comment otherwise), but I have never gone by the method of dividing trimesters where you take 40 weeks and divide by 3, and there are your three trimesters. Some doctors and midwives do that, and thus many mothers, but it's only one method of doing it, and there isn't a "right" or "wrong" way to look at it, from what I've read. There's a weird "ovulation method" which makes the first trimester like 2 weeks longer (no thank you, lol!), but I much prefer the "developmental method", because it makes the most sense to me. It also gives me a 12 week first trimester, instead of 13-point-something weeks. There are three stages of development in pregnancy, and the first one is up tomorrow (hence on to the second stage, or trimester). The second stage ends at 27 weeks, which coincides with the simple division method too, as it happens. So, happy second trimester to me tomorrow! :D I'm so happy that the placenta is now developed and can take over from the yolk sac completely, and that all my baby's organs and body parts are finished, and just need fine tuning, and to grow! :)
I have a definite little bump now, and have failed to take a 10 week belly pic, which I'm sad about! I didn't even get one at 11 weeks either, but I will TRY to get a 12 week one. All this bleeding keeps me on my toes, and I forget to pay attention to the normal celebratory stuff of pregnancy while things are up in the air. I hope this bleeding settles down and then THAT'S IT for this pregnancy and bleeding! I really hope so.
No new foody things, except all food tastes bitter at the moment, especially dark chocolate (like "lemon zest" bitter!) and all carbs, especially bread and potatoes. The only mild cravings I have had so far this pregnancy are green beans, strawberries, mint choc chip ice-cream (though that was the mildest of all and didn't last long), any sort of fried, fast food smell makes me HAVE TO HAVE that food, lol! And yesterday I suddenly longed for nectarines or peaches, so I bought some today and have been enjoying them so much! :) Whether this baby is a boy or not, it's NOT like the boy pregnancies I've had, and it IS like Lydia's pregnancy as far as the food is concerned, I think.
I weighed myself today and I'm exactly 8 stone 9lbs. ;) Still not a pound lost or gained yet! I would have thought I'd have varied by a lb or two, in either direction, but oh well! It will come soon enough. :) I can't remember if I was gaining or losing any weight by 12 weeks with my other pregnancies. I gained the least weight with Lydia, I think. But I would have to look it all up to be sure.
So this week I have to finish my midwife appointment for the blood tests (especially interested to know how my iron is doing with all the bleeding - I am going to get some Floradix to help in any case, I'm sure it will be a benefit to my body at the moment), and urine tests, etc. I think that's on Tuesday lunch time, and Neil is working from home that day so I can attend it sans kiddies. Can you imagine if I had had to take 7 kids to the midwife appointment last time with Neil working in London 2 hours away, and then all that awfulness happened?! I would have been in some serious trouble.... Glad to have his work happy to let him work from home occasionally to cover these things! And you can be sure I will not be setting foot out of the house again this pregnancy without a heavy duty sanitary pad on, and two more in my bag! Lesson learned.
So this "quick" update turned out to be a long-winded waffle, and I'm up way too late, but that's not really a surprise now, is it?! ;) I am going to bed now though. I have been more nauseous and tired today than most of this week, and child #2 is down with a fever and sore throat, with 5 unsuspecting little people yet to become ill, so I should get my sleep while I can! :/ Sincerely hoping the littlest ones don't get it, and that I don't, because I seem to get things so badly when I'm pregnant, with the lowered immune system. This virus doesn't seem nice, and I don't relish being stuck with a bad case of it and lots of sick or newly-healthy-but-crabby children to look after at the same time! ;)
Back soon! :)