I have been so tired, and going to bed with the children about half the nights in a week, every week, just to maintain life. That means my only waking hours are the ones where I'm on the go constantly with all the children - most of them get up before I do in the mornings, and if I go to sleep before some of them doze off, well, I just have no time for my own pursuits, aside from much less time-consuming updates on Facebook. (Julie from Heartlight, I haven't forgotten your request!! I don't have a way to contact you, but yes I would love to friend you on Facebook, after all these years! :) I am generally picky about friending anyone I do not know, and never accept a friend request if it's not accompanied by a personal message - because honestly, I have no idea who most of you are, lol! It's nothing personal, but if I don't know you I'm unlikely to accept a request - I am pretty open on Facebook, but my name and location and such are there, so I'm picky.)
So I am getting bigger. Much bigger, these last few weeks! I feel "properly pregnant", which I guess is my way of saying that I feel "really pregnant", but I know I can't really say that yet at 24 weeks, since it pales into insignificance compared with 35 weeks and beyond, in my experience, lol! I feel physically more restricted now. Uncomfortable a lot, and my bump gets in the way of my diaphragm when I am sitting down - I have to keep straightening my back to take a deep breath. Bending over sharply without thinking results in pain low down under my bump, and I'm slowly learning to remember not to make that sudden move any more. It's hard to cut my toenails, and I feel breathless a lot, and night time isn't very comfy at all, getting a good position to sleep in. I still have a lot of searing ligament pains, even at night when I'm in a perfectly comfy position and not moving at all! I guess the baby suddenly moves and then my ligaments are pulled on differently, so they complain. It's harder getting up from my mattress on the floor that is mine and Lydia's bed, now. In the coming months, we'll figure out and implement a plan for where she'll sleep, and get ready for the new baby moving into bed next to me. Neil is nearby but Lydia still breastfeeds on demand at night, so it affects his sleep less when he's not on the same mattress as us! As it happens he's a terrible sleep-mate, lol! I have never had a night's sleep as good as before I got married, mostly because I'm attending little ones every night for the last 10 years, and then pregnantly disturbed (!!) for the months before that, but in the few years before we had children, I was constantly disturbed by Neil. He thrashes about, has no awareness of another person in the bed, and snores. He talks, mumbles and shouts in his sleep, and wakes violently from bad dreams! I thought I would get used to it over the years being married to him, but nope. I am thinking of separate beds in the same room after we've finished having little ones in the room, lol! Need my sleep!
Children are doing chores now. I can carry on for a few minutes.
We haven't settled on a name yet for this baby girl! We keep thinking that we have the one we're going to use, and I actually say it when I talk about the baby and things that I see that will be set aside for her (things that Lydia has outgrown, etc.). But then the next day I will think, "Is that REALLY going to be her name?..." and I feel not quite settled with using it. I still think it pretty much IS the name we'll go with, so I keep using it when I refer to her. But in the not-knowing, and therefore getting to 24 weeks and not having told anyone at all about a name we might use (except for the shortlist I mentioned here last time) I am feeling more and more drawn to keeping the name a secret for announcing at the birth, like I usually do for the rest of the world, only here and with close friends at Facebook too! :) Never done that before... I always like to talk about everything in my head here, as it happens, and that includes calling my baby by his or her name from as soon as I know what it is and it's therefore in my head all the time in reference to the baby. Maybe it's because I'm not quite 100% sure that we WILL use this name in the end, and maybe once I do feel sure, I'll want to use it here. But I'm quite enjoying the secret, and that nobody knows - everybody can't wait to find out, but nobody knows! :) It's nice! Sorry for the frustration, but it's nice, hehe!
It IS one of the names on the shortlist, but there's a chance we might change it for another one on the shortlist. Also there's a slimmer chance that from out of the blue, another name we hadn't considered will cross our minds and we'll end up choosing that. I *think* we are settled. The boys won't know until we've absolutely decided. Most of the time we are sure, but there are still moments of doubt for me, and maybe that can be normal in pregnancy, but it's not my norm so I'm unsettled by the feeling.
Meg asked how we'd pronounce Rosalie in the comments after last entry. If we use that name, we would absolutely pronounce it Rose-a-lee. I had a moment when I read that, of slight panic, thinking I didn't want a name that might be mispronounced! I had never even considered "Roz-a-lee" as a way to say the name, and went straight to as many baby name websites as I could find. After 10 websites in a row said that the only pronunciation was "Rose-a-lee" I was reassured! It isn't like Rosalind, it's a "Rose" name, and doesn't have an option for "Roz-a-lee" on the how-to-pronounce info, so hopefully not many people would think it was pronounced that way, if we choose it. The good thing about Charlotte, Rose and Hannah is that they are classic, obvious names that nobody will mispronounce or mis-spell!
Baby girly has had hiccups for the first time, a couple of weeks ago! I was so excited!! I love this stage, big walloping kicks (compared with the teeny fluttery ones of the early months), obvious baby bump, and hiccups! I love baby hiccups, I feel so proud of my little ones knowing that they are practicing their breathing in there, and that is why they are getting hiccups. In the past week I saw my tummy going up and down rhythmically for a moment, and I recognised it as practice breathing. :) Good girl!
She is now viable - hooray! I know it's still super early, but if she was born now, she would have a chance of survival outside my body. Bizarre and surreal thought - I really feel like I haven't been pregnant very long yet! But I'm so relieved to reach the 24 week milestone! :)
I haven't taken a belly pic in ages, and am not sure when I can get chance! I will if I can. I know that Arthur will NOT let me forget the traditional 28-week one with all the children around me and my littlest on my hip. :) He asks pretty much every week if I'm pregnant enough for "the family picture" yet. I am excited about that picture! It will be the third pregnancy in a row that I've done one, and it's building a sweet run of pictures that show how the children are growing and changing, which I love! :)
Lydia got kicked for the first time, a few weeks ago! She and Elijah were the first to feel this baby kick, other than me. Neil has since felt hiccups, and Arthur and Matthew have felt little tiny taps, but not big kicks yet. Lydia was kneading my tummy while Elijah, who asks to see my "big tummy" every single day, was having his viewing of my tummy while we sat on the sofa having a cuddle. She came over and squashed it about this way and that. I've been telling her there's a baby inside, but how could she really know?! ;) Anyway, baby sister kicked Lydia right on her hand, and she snatched it back with a sharp gasp, like she'd been stung, lol! She stared with wide eyes and open mouth at my tummy for a few moments, and then turned the same expression to me, for some reassurance I guess! I asked her if she had felt the baby move, and she said yes, in total amazement! ;) Now, on Elijah's daily viewings (!), she comes over and points to my tummy, and then says very seriously, "Baby. Baby indide." Yes, lovey, there is! :D She still can't understand until the baby arrives, of course, but it's a start! ;)
Lydia will be 2 next month. I have never had a two-year-old who is about to have a baby sibling before, except for those who are about to get their SECOND baby sibling! ;) Lydia will be two and will have never had a younger sibling before, which is totally new territory for us. She is more advanced and more aware therefore, than her brothers were when I was pregnant and due to have a baby, being that bit older. A few more months will make even more difference to her development. It's weird to me, lol! I'm used to much shorter age gaps! I hope it will be okay...
I am still in absolute awe that I am having another girl! So delighted, and just honestly shaking my head with disbelief that God has been THIS good to me! We were on a long drive last weekend to see family, and Neil and I were finalising the baby's name (or so we thought, lol!). Then we were quiet for a while, and there was a crazy huge influx of motorbikes coming down the motorway. Neil is practically obsessed with motorbikes, and military, and cars, and football. The boys (all of them) are following in his footsteps, shrieking with joy over the sight of motorbikes, asking, "WOW, what car is THAT!" at a fancy or fast car on the road, and having a fairly obsessive interest in military aircraft, which is mainly Arthur's but his enthusiasm for anything is always infectious to his brothers, so they all talk, read and draw about military aircraft every. single. day. NONE of which is a problem, and of course Lydia could share their interests, BUT.... I could not possibly be more bored with each of those subjects! My dad and brother have always been heavily into football, and to my mum it's like nails on chalkboard, lol! From early in childhood I seemed to identify with her over it, and football and cars and other "man" stuff really super irritates me. I just do my own thing when there's football on, and take as little notice as possible for my own sanity, as I did growing up, but now that all the children are joining it, it's impossible to get away from the constant talk of air strikes and code names for planes, and cars and motorbikes, etc. I love their healthy interests, but sometimes I reach a point where I want to SCREAM - it's SO boring!!! Aaaargh! I have some hope that maybe Lydia will be - at last! - someone to keep me company during the absolute boredom of all the male hobbies, lol! I know she might choose their interests too, but I so hope not! ;) Another girl makes me hope for double the companions, hehe!
Anyway, so this parade of motorbikes went on and on, and the boys and Neil got more and more excited about it. I tried to make interested comments and noises for a while but after 20 minutes (there must have been an event they were going to), I was honestly about to lose my MIND with the whole thing, stuck in a van with endless 2-wheeled vehicles and 20 minutes of maintained crazy excitement, mostly from Neil, lol! ;) I got to the, "Yes, yes, it's a BIKE." response stage (!!) and then lay my head back on the head-rest to close my eyes and try to escape. I think I had hormones going on as well, emotionally speaking, so that didn't help! ;) To distract myself while the excitement over parply-noised-vehicles continued, I tried thinking back on our conversation about the new baby and her name. Then suddenly it hit me that I was shortly going to be the mother of TWO daughters. Two girls. My GIRLS - girlzzzz! :D It suddenly was overwhelmingly amazing to me again, and unbelieveably wonderful, and in the face of all the blokey thrill of motorbikes, to suddenly think I would have two daughters growing up by my side with all these boys... I just suddenly choked up with tears right there in the van, thinking how GOOD God has been to me, how gracious and kind, to give me TWO daughters after all these precious sons. I guess he knew I would need them! :P
Well, that's all the time I have, and I am pleased to have been able to write more than I expected! :) I will try to update again like this, and get a picture up sometime soon as well. Thanks so much for all the lovely comments and congrats on my newest daughter! :)