The scan went well! :) It was at 8.40am, so I just left for the hospital without going to the loo at all after getting up. Unlike last time, I had SUCH a full bladder, lol! They were able to see the gestational sac with a trans-abdominal scan!! At five weeks!!! I didn't know that was possible so early without a trans-vaginal scan, but there we go! :) She saw it straight away, and said, "I can see a diddy little sac!" so I was relieved immediately that I didn't have to worry about ectopic pregnancy any more. I was not terribly worried by today anyway, because I still haven't had any significant pain on one side, and on the odd occasion that I thought I did, I pressed about in my tummy and it didn't hurt to do so.
But for some weird reason in the waiting room (I had to wait ages! Even that early there were lots of people waiting), I began to get so nervous. I had to focus on my breathing to get my heart rate down at one point! So silly really, as I didn't have much to be anxious about. I guess it was just the anticipation, the unknown, and the waiting that got me.
After the scan, which was very quick, and after dashing to the loo (great relief!), I waited some more to be called to see the doctor. It was a different one from last time, and she was really lovely too. She asked me lots of questions about my last cervical smear test, when was it? Was it normal? etc. She was making me nervous, but then she explained that as they couldn't see a source of bleeding in my uterus, and I was still having spotting and light bleeding, if it didn't settle down by the end of next week, they would like to examine my cervix to see if it is the source of the bleeding. :/ Anxious woman alert!!! :( She did reassure me that some women just bleed. I said that I thought I was one of them! ;)
She asked how I was feeling, and I told her I feel pregnant. She said, "Oh, is this your second?" hahahaha! ;) I always can't keep a straight face when people ask me that one in total innocence, lol! Something about it makes me chuckle inside. ;) I said it was my eighth, and she asked me how many children I had, so I said seven. She said, "Wow! You look so young!" :) I told her I thought it was all the progesterone! :D I actually look less young than I ever used to, but I will take her compliment all the same! ;)
So, she told me that it is great news that they have seen the gestational sac in my uterus. I asked if it was consistent size for my gestation, and she said yes. The sonographer said it measured just under 1cm, but I checked the actual measurements on the report, and it's 7mm x 3mm x 7mm (which actually seems a little bit small for my exact dates... :/ ). Anyway, she said it was a good shape, and that they would like me to come back in 7-10 days for another scan. By that time, we should be able to see the baby and a heartbeat. She said it's great that the sac is now visible, but they like to err on the side of caution when they haven't visualised the baby yet.
So, I have another appointment booked for 9am next Friday - 8 days away. I chose first thing in the morning because I have quite liked that so far with these scans, getting it over and done with in the first part of the day. I am feeling quite nervous, despite the good news today, about the next scan. I am queasy but not really morning sick as such... and I'm 5 weeks and 3 days. With ALL my pregnancies, it was well and truly established by the end of the day on 5 weeks and 6 days. With Lydia, that was also the day my established morning sickness ramped up a notch! ;) That's only three days to go... I think if I get there and I'm not feeling really sick, I will be worried, and with 7 pregnancies of identical experience on that gestation, I think that I will have good reason to be worried. I have way too much knowledge on things like Blighted Ovum and so on, for my own good. :/ I just need to get to next Friday and find out whether the baby has appeared in the sac or not, nothing much else will relieve this anticipation, in case that doesn't happen. On the other hand, everything is very much the same as my other pregnancies - a non-threatening (it seems) bleed, normal pregnancy symptoms, normal scan for dates, etc. So I should have every reason to be very confident for next Friday. But then I remember the one thing that is REALLY out of the ordinary for me - the morning sickness (way worse than today), that started before 4 weeks, and started to disappear 5 days later. A vague queasiness has hung around, but nothing more. I still can't figure out why that would have happened, and unfortunately I'm one for wanting to know WHY on everything! ;) I can't seem to settle otherwise, but oh well, I can't know everything can I?!
I have announced my pregnancy to the world today (Facebook, family - except my grandparents, who I am not sure if I ever want to tell after last time!), and I'm trying to keep my focus on that of praising God for his good gifts to me! I am so excited to be having another baby! I hope I get to keep this baby, and I can't relax into this pregnancy at all until I hopefully have good news next Friday. But the outcome doesn't change a thing about the moment NOW. Right NOW I am blessed with new life! Right NOW God has chosen me - ME! - again, for the privilege of carrying a precious new life inside me. For a while I thought maybe my childbearing days were over, and I felt sad about that, thinking how much I took for granted the joy of even the discomforts of pregnancy that I might never know again. And now here I am! Whether it lasts or not, God be praised! I am so excited and happy and grateful to be actually PREGNANT, again! :)
Arthur wanted me to tell the boys after this scan, but I said no, not yet. I told him things look good today, but they won't be sure that everything is going fine until they can see the baby and a heartbeat, which we hope to see next Friday. If everything is fine then, I will tell the boys. Not long to wait now, really. :) He knows there is still a chance of loss. I can't believe how grown up and mature and understanding my first baby is all of a sudden! Bizarre and surreal to me to think that this blog (well, the original at Diaryland) was started for HIM, all those years ago! :)
Symptom-wise today, I am breathless and tired again, all normal and good. I felt pretty yucky leading up to a late lunch and dinner too, but better for eating. I also discovered a new thing today - Oreos make me want to gag! OREOS!!! I love Oreos! I am so sad! lol! They taste REVOLTING. I keep eating one anyway and shaking my head in disbelief that something I *know* is so awesome-tasting, tastes so genuinely nasty, lol! Chocolate is good though. And oh, I meant to say this a couple of days ago - SALTY food. I am enjoying my food salty. I am definitely beginning to think boy. Which does not at ALL explain the 3w5d start on the morning sickness!! Unless there had been two boys?! Or a boy (this one) and a girl (who isn't with me any longer). Only ONE gestational sac today at the scan though. I only have one corpus luteal cyst (she noted it was nice and big (?!) and doing a great job sustaining the pregnancy with progesterone!), so I only ovulated one egg. It is too early to see if there are identical twins in that sac or not, though, but I'm thinking probably not, because I would SURELY be more sick than this by now, if that was the case! ;)
I am unusually moody and stubborn and irritable these last couple of days - maybe it's the stress leading up to the scan? But I think it's more likely hormones. ;) My bleeding has slowed down to dark brown spotting today, which is reassuring!
I can't think what else... I will update again soon! Thanks for the well wishes for the scan! :)