I am STILL bleeding. Most of it this morning was brown - great sign from experience! But new red again this afternoon, as always. Also a few little clots today. :/ I have had backache from waking up, and a mildly crampy discomfort low in front, almost the whole day.
Of course I am speculating all over the place - a week suddenly feels FOREVER to wait for a scan - there are still 5 days left to go! By which time I could have completely miscarried! :( I am wondering maybe I am losing a twin or something? Both were starting out well, morning sickness arrived, and subsided after one died? Or just, maybe there were never twins, but the bleeding risk has proved too much for the one that was there, and that's why the improved morning sickness? :/ I am even second-guessing - it was SUPER early for me to feel morning sick (although I was morning sick by this gestation with Lydia, now), and maybe it WASN'T that? Maybe I was just under-the-weather, or feeling yucky for some other reason? But that's not the case, because there's nothing that feels exactly like morning sickness nausea, and this was definitely IT. I just can't understand why it has cleared up, for a good and healthy reason, anyway...
In other news, I am having an unusually irritable, weepy day, have new spots breaking out, and really tender breasts for the first time this pregnancy. I have had the odd moment of twinges or discomfort, but today they are just tender and uncomfy. I am also feeling really headache-exhausted, so that's all pregnant of me... I have an increased appetite and need to wee a bit more than usual. That one-sided pain has continued but isn't so persistant today, and has appeared once or twice on the other side, so I am hoping it's a normal pregnancy thing.
I really hope to keep this little one, but I am just feeling anxious about it tonight. There's nothing I can do for peace of mind, to check on things, like I do earlier on than this by taking a pregnancy test to see if it's getting darker or lighter. It would be nice and positive even if the pregnancy was failing, with a beta of 147 the day before yesterday, I think.
I hope I will feel better about things tomorrow, and have some encouraging signs like nausea (can't believe I'm hoping for nausea - should be rejoicing that it has cleared up!), or improvement with the bleeding. I didn't really need to update tonight, as I've only just done so and haven't really got any news, but I wanted to get that worry off my chest and written down. Just in case it's relevant.