It went great! :) I didn't even have a full bladder, and they only used the transabdominal scan, but straight away the sonographer saw a baby with a beating heart! :) She showed me the grainy image of a little blobble which was pulsating beautifully in the middle as the tiny heart beat away busily. As always, I fell SO IN LOVE!
She was able to measure the baby's CRL (crown to rump length) which was about 4mm. She said that was so tiny - "not even 6 weeks yet", which is where I got concerned and told her I was sure of my dates and that I'm 6 weeks and 4 days. She checked again and got 3.7mm, and said it was fine for my gestation, and maybe it took a little longer to implant or something. :/ I was not convinced, but I saw a doctor right afterwards, and was able to talk it through with her. She was reassuring (and she examined my cervix and declared it to be looking perfectly healthy - yay!), and I googled when I got home and was much more reassured by that. :) Seems there are lots of people saying they got a measurement of 3.6 or 3.7mm at 6 weeks and X days, and were concerned, but they all got reassuring responses and things turned out fine, so phew! Hopefully everything is going great!
The sonographer said that maybe the fact that it's dating a bit earlier than I thought, was why we didn't see anything but a sac last time, and why we didn't see even a sac at the first scan. Things are just a few days later than "schedule" with this pregnancy. I hope so.
Anyway, YAY!!! A precious baby with a beating heart! I was so very tearful on the way home, praising God and praying over my new tiny one's life. I am generally having an emotional patch at the moment, feeling tearful (not sad, just ANY feelings well up in my eyes, lol!) easily, and that's why!
I feel SO nauseated all the time. Any time I am awake. Yesterday and today were the worst - today is a bit worse than yesterday. I wonder if my usual 5w6d start is actually "delayed" like the rest of it, given my hormone levels maybe are a few days behind with the general development of the pregnancy, and so I'm more like 6 weeks-ish now, rather than in the 2nd half of 6 weeks? Although, I did have morning sickness at 5w3d, mildly, and a gradual build each day until 6 weeks, when it was proper. Milder than usual, but definitely proper morning sickness. The problem yesterday and today is familiar from my other pregnancies - my stomach and intestines seem to be full of air, groaningly and bloatedly so, and that in itself is making me nauseated like nothing else. I can't eat anything to take the edge off any more. The sweets and such that were working earlier in the week are just adding to the amount of wind in my system now, and not really improving the nausea in the meantime.
I also totally CANNOT eat again: macaroni cheese, pizza, or lasagne. Never again, until I am feeling better. Those meals seemed like worth a try at the time, but made me feel awful for hours afterwards, whereas other meals have so far taken the slight edge off the nausea because my stomach isn't empty, BUT they don't actually make me feel gross themselves. I felt so sick this evening that I thought I might be sick, but I sat with a handful of chocolate Weetos, and just crunched them slowly, one at a time. After about 2 handfuls I started to feel slightly less sick, and continued to improve a little as I ate them, but within seconds of stopping, my mouth watered and the bitter taste came back, and I felt just as nauseous again really quickly.
I reeeeeeally hope that I will have "good weeks" along with bad weeks, as I wrote about in past pregnancies. Weeks 6 and 7 are always grim, so I am just going to hope that I can grin and bear it for a couple of weeks and that it will pass quickly enough, to get to 8 weeks. The nausea itself doesn't seem to ease at 8 weeks, for me, but somehow it's more manageable, like I've adjusted in some way. So that's my first milestone to aim for!
I am SO GLAD that I implemented a new chore system with the boys a few weeks ago, because with a tiny bit of tweaking, I am able to make it so that someone other than me clears the table after every single meal, which helps a GREAT deal! I still have to do the kitchen related stuff and make the food, but I had Arthur make beans on toast for them all yesterday evening when the bleurghiness was overwhelming - he was thrilled, and did great! :)
We told the rest of the children today! :) I drew a picture of our family with stick figures, and put it on the wall. They gradually realised it was there, and came to comment on it, and Nathan wanted to colour in the faces, and Samuel's hair, etc. So he did that. I drew a triangle dress on me and on Lydia, in the picture, and we all stood back to admire it and name each person in the picture in turn. After we named Lydia, I said, "Oh! I forgot something!" and they watched while I drew a little curled-up baby on my triangle dress! :) They stared at me with shining eyes, and Matthew started leaping up and down and screaming and yelling about a baby in my tummy! :) I was videoing the whole thing, but Matthew jumped so much that his jeans fell down, lol!! So yeah, not for public viewing! :P
Matthew in particular is so excited - he kept asking if I was serious, wondering if I was messing with him (can't think why! I never do things like that!), and saying he couldn't BELIEVE it, it was so amazing and exciting, etc! Arthur, who has known all along, started acting weird (completely nuts) and attention-seeking from his brothers once they heard the news, and in the end I sent him off upstairs so the others could enjoy hearing the news properly without Arthur's distractions. He has Asperger's and I kind of expected his behaviour, but having him go upstairs was a good idea.
Nathan was quieter about it, but he always is, even though he's thrilled. He IMMEDIATELY found pencil and paper and started drawing a picture of me with a baby in my tummy, and that was very reassuring to me because whatever Nathan loves, or is happy, excited or passionate about, he draws. So I knew he was really happy. :) The littlest ones, of course, have no idea really! ;) Benjamin and Samuel seemed very pleased, but they are still quite little themselves at 5 and 4.
Anyway, happy day! :)
The doctor said they saw a source of bleeding, which was a possible area near the gestational sac, like a cyst breaking down (?!) or something, so I do wonder about a vanishing twin. I didn't ask though. She didn't seem all that sure about what it was. She said I may continue to get spotting from that while it clears up, but right now since the last red bleed, I have had 72 (count 'em!!) hours TOTALLY BLOOD FREE!!! Not even light spotting! Awesome few days! :) Yesterday I began having some light brown spotting again with some CM, and today the same, but that last time I mentioned the red bleeding was my last sighting of red blood! :) I know it could happen again, and they have discharged me now, saying that if I continue to bleed like I have been, not to worry about it. I can go back to them if I start bleeding or have pain that is DIFFERENT to the way I've been bleeding or cramping until now, and they will re-assess me.
I need to contact my GP to book in with a midwife and get my bloods taken and in the system for a 12 week scan appointment, etc. It feels bizarre and surreal and SO EXCITING to be "moving on" now to normal pregnancy, after slightly holding my breath in uncertainty for 3 weeks - the entire pregnancy so far! Lovely to be able to do that. I told my parents the update tonight, and they were very nice and congratulatory, which is nice! :)
For those who have asked about my grandparents' reaction last time, I went looking for a link to a blog entry from when it actually happened, but discovered that I never wrote about it - how weird. That's not like me! It was a big and upsetting deal to me at the time, maybe so upsetting that I just didn't want to dig it all up again writing about it. It was once I'd found out I was having a girl, and I called to let them know. They have been pretty cold every time I announced a pregnancy, so that with Elijah (I think??) I sent them a letter instead so I would be able to avoid the cold tones on the phone. :( Anyway, once I said I was having a girl, my grandfather said that now I had got my girl, it was time to stop. There were a lot more (fairly stern) words spoken than that, but he implied that I should listen and obey! So I said that I would see what happened, because he knows we trust God with my womb (he is not a Christian, in fact he is pretty anti-Christian). When he realised that I was not going to take his advice, he told me that if I became pregnant again, he would not be congratulating me. :( It upset me so much more than I thought it should, because we are a very small close-knit family, and I love my grandparents SO much. It bothered me even though I tried to shake it off all of the rest of that day. I remember going to the evening church service that night, and choking back tears during the worship, and then I went to the ministry team at the end of the service for prayer. They asked me what I wanted prayer about and I started to cry so much that I couldn't even talk to tell them! After a while I was able to tell them what he said, and they prayed over me for comfort and peace, and that was soothing. I can't believe I didn't write about it here at the time! :/ So I don't know... I have no desire to tell them at the moment. There are two big family events in July - Grandoug's birthday around the 5th, and my brother's wedding at the end of the month - and I will be 14 and 16 weeks at those, so I am sure I'll be showing. I am not sure what to do about that yet. It's sad and awkward, and I am not going to think about it for now.
Too nauseous to stay any longer - will update again soon. No pics of the scan as it was an emergency clinic and they are not allowed to give pics. Ah well - at least I asked! And I have the beautiful image of my 8th precious tiny, ingrained on my memory. :)