4 weeks pregnant! :)

I'm sorry it's taken me a couple of days to update! I even wrote most of this earlier in the day, but never got chance to finish it. Now it's REALLY late, well after midnight, and I need to hurry up and just post something! Here is what I wrote this morning:

So I have arrived at 4 weeks pregnant! :)

My bleeding is continuing but seems to be more settled than before... maybe. Yesterday I started the day with bad cramps (well, less bad than before, but not mild), and very quickly they faded to mild cramps. By late afternoon I only really had a feeling of uncomfy fullness and slight pressure, sort of a crampy feel but not enough to call actual "cramps", and my bleeding seemed to have eased right off (just a little dark red spotting). Late in the evening I had some bright red again when I wiped, which is frustrating, but I'm reassured by the cramps easing off, and also by the fact that my tests are still getting darker lines. :)

Yesterday's temp was 36.96!!! My highest yet! So that reassured me too. Today's was down to 36.8 but that's still above the original triphasic level. Yesterday my test was much darker again than the day before, but today's is pretty much exactly the same as yesterday's. I haven't got a photo of today's test, but here's a photo of the first three together - 11DPO, 12DPO, and yesterday - 13DPO, from top to bottom (11DPO has yellowed a bit and that's made the line look darker than it was originally):



I was really pleased to see how much darker it got each day for the first 3 days, but I don't know if it's okay that there's no change today (14DPO) from yesterday's test. But at least they've been getting stronger. :)

The other reassuring thing is, the night before last (when I last updated here at 3 weeks and 5 days), dinner made my mouth feel a bit watery and weird, and I just thought, hmmm... I felt *slightly yucky*, but nothing more. I did think it seemed a bit like the very first inklings of morning sickness, but at 3 weeks and 5 days, I thought surely not?! Yesterday by late afternoon things smelled a bit "car-sy" and made me have the slightest feeling of travel queasiness with it. Also from that point, my mouth began to be way more watery than usual, and it stayed that way until I went to bed, 7 hours later!! The watery-ness was sometimes metallic tasting too. By dinner time I felt yucky. Really queasy and not like eating food at all. I ate anyway, and felt gross - proper nausea - from dinner to bed, all evening. Bleurgh. I had just too much wind in my stomach and it was making me nauseous, but there's a specific feeling to morning sickness, that's different from other nausea, and I recognised it straight away. NOT EVEN 4 WEEKS PREGNANT YET!!! :-O

Today I woke up and instantly felt sick. Not overwhelming miserable fog of bleurgh (which it is likely to become if experience is anything to go by), but just yuck, I feel sick! Definitely morning sickness. It hasn't lifted at all, all day long, even for a moment. The best I've felt was right after eating my dinner. Chewing my fingers/nails makes me feel yucky, and so does drinking water. Classic morning sickness feeling for me. Also super reassuring as far as the pregnancy goes!

BUT. Arthur, Matthew, Nathan, and Benjamin - morning sickness started on the dot of 5 weeks and 6 days. Samuel, 5 weeks and 3 days. Elijah, 5 weeks and 5 days. Very similar - I thought Samuel seemed "early" at the time, lol! Then Lydia - morning sickness started at 4 weeks and 3 days - definitely early, and lo and behold she was a girl! :) So, 3 weeks and 5/6 days?!!! Crazy early! I am not sure what to think about that. Another girl? More than one baby?!! I don't know, but it's not my norm, that's for sure! I am nervous as anything about how much worse it will be this time, starting so early. Lydia's was my worst actual nausea yet, not so bad when it was starting early, but once I got to the usual almost-6-weeks time, OH MY GOODNESS. Bleurgh. So that's worrisome! But I'm thankful that it's a helpful reassurance - I hope that's what it means anyway...

Well, since I wrote the morning's stuff, I have had new bleeding. :( Getting fed up with it already, and I can't believe it when I look at my chart and see that it's only 4 days of bleeding! It feels like so much longer than that. It dies down to dark red spotting, or next to nothing for a few hours, and then bright red when I wipe again. This afternoon I had had no spotting for a few hours, and I was changing Lydia's nappy when I felt a sudden "flow", and as soon as I could, I went upstairs to the loo to check (knowing what it was). Dark red blood on my pad, and when I wiped, and when I sat down on the toilet, it was enough to drop-drop-drop into the toilet as I sat there - that's probably the heaviest bleeding I've had so far. BUT, I didn't get cramping with it. That all ended yesterday, and hasn't returned. I have varying levels of heavy discomfort and a ball-like sensation deep in the pit of my abdomen - sometimes I even think I feel a tennis ball type weight/pressure in my cervix or rectum - weird description but it's the closest I can describe it. I can't remember if that's just early pregnancy for you, or if it's not quite right.

Anyway, the heavier bleed settled down within minutes and I just had dark red spotting on the pad over a few hours, nothing more. If I go to the loo and wipe, it's red, and not a small amount, but there's less reaching the pad, if that makes sense. I haven't had much in the way of spotting over the evening, but just as I'm typing this, I can feel some more leakiness going on. :( It can't be right... it worries me a bit, even though I bled heavier (I think) with Elijah, thinking it was a period. I wore tampons then, so I didn't actually assess the bleeding as such, so I can't compare.

Tomorrow I was planning to use my Clearblue Digital test, as I have no other tests left now, and I will be 4 weeks and 1 day (or 2 weeks and 1 day after conception). The digital tests tell you how many weeks you are since conception, based on the level of hormones it detects, and I was hoping that if I get past the 2 week mark, it might say 2-3 instead of 1-2... that would be VERY reassuring. I didn't want to do it right on 4 weeks, because it might say 1-2 still, but I don't want to leave it until it's nearer 3 weeks either. So maybe tomorrow or the next day? I think it will be less than reassuring if it says 1-2 weeks when I'm actually 2-3 weeks, though.

Neil came home halfway through the day today, with a migraine. He had run out of the medication he usually takes, and thankfully we were able to get the doctor to prescribe him some this afternoon, so he is okay, but not going in to work tomorrow because he would have to drive 4 hours, and he's usually a bit delicate the day after a migraine. So, it seems like the right time for me to make a doctor's appointment, since he's home, and book my pregnancy in. I also want to talk to the doctor about the bleeding, because I've googled and there's no way it's "normal" for implantation bleeding. It wasn't with Elijah either, so I don't know if that's because it's *my* norm and therefore okay, or if he was lucky to survive... My googling did discover, unexpectedly, that heavier implantation bleeding can occur with twins (and Elijah was a twin, I'm pretty sure), soooo....

It's way too early for a scan, for a couple of weeks yet, so I don't know if there's anything they can say or do for me tomorrow anyway, but all the advice online is to tell the doctor about heavy red bleeding in early pregnancy, especially dark red, and especially with cramps. I am hoping it's not something like an ectopic pregnancy, but I have also heard that tests can be negative for a while at first with ectopics, which hasn't been the case for me.

So that is the current situation. I am still irritable, REALLY physically exhausted, weepier than usual (not just when anxious, just cute stories or photos choke me up!), very breathless at the slightest exertion, and dizzy sometimes. I am trying to find things that might take the edge off the nausea - so far I have tried apple, grapes, tropical fruit juice, and mints. They all felt nice to eat/drink, and the juice helped for like a minute, but nothing else. I only tried chocolate mints so far, but I have put some boiled sweets and mints in the Tesco order for tomorrow so I'll try those too. I have also ordered an organic essential oils type lip balm thingy that's designed specifically for morning sickness. Mixed reviews - some said it made no difference, some said it took the edge off, and some said it worked wonders. Anything is worth a try, or to add to my arsenal! I know I'll probably feel desperate for relief in a couple of weeks! I hope...

Jemma, yes I was trying to do all sorts with my chart, lol! I want to register the ACTUAL bleeding, but if I do that instead of spotting, it automatically starts a new cycle, aaaarrrghh! I can't override it! So then I tried merging this cycle and the "new cycle" that it started for me, and that worked, but then it wouldn't register my positive tests or the fact that I am pregnant, so long as I had the bleeding there! So I changed it back to spotting. *sigh* I managed to merge two cycles for Elijah's chart, and stay "pregnant", so I can't understand why it won't this time! I will have to leave it as spotting, but it's not true! I am BLEEDING! I am just writing copious notes for each day there, instead, of what is actually happening.

Thanks for all the congrats! :) I am tentative too, but I am definitely pregnant for now, and am trying to choose to enjoy the blessing of being pregnant for the 8th time, however long it lasts! :D God is the author of my little one's life, and I trust him. My baby is due January 4th. I will probably talk way more about that end of things when I feel more at ease about the pregnancy. Hopefully things will settle down. Or the doctor will suggest something, I don't know. I will keep you posted! :)

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