MY SCAN IS TOMORROWWWWWWWWW!!!! :D
So excited to see my little one, and finally know (hopefully!) one way or the other whether I am having a boy or a girl. I look at my 12 week scan pictures, at the nub shots, and think, "Well, it just HAS to be a girl, surely?!" and then I think that I can't FATHOM tomorrow going ahead and finding out it's a girl, not REALLY truly actually. I mean, like it's impossible, lol! So I remember that the nub shots were quite early for the theory to be accurate, and then I'm right in the 50/50 camp again, not able to lean one way or the other. I think I am going to be surprised whichever gender the baby turns out to be, for different reasons! ;) I will be so surprised if it's a boy because of my gut feeling and the nub shots. Soooo surprised. But I will be flat-out SHOCKED if it's a girl, because I feel well seasoned at having babies and scans and pregnancies now, and I can't really remember a time properly when I wasn't doing this now... And yet, alllllll of that - my only experience has been as a mummy to BOYS! So, shocked, yes.
I just can't wait to know, one way or the other! I am excited to know if the baby is a boy, even though I would love to have a girl.
The only thing is that this week I am suddenly having niggling doubts about the name Toby Joseph... Not sure why, maybe now that it's really close to actually GIVING the name to a real live baby and it being HIS from then on, maybe it feels like I shouldn't, you know? Maybe it feels like it's already Toby David's name and so it doesn't feel right as it becomes more real. I don't know. Or maybe I'm just having a random wobble (seriously hormonal again these past few days, just another burst of them I think, as I'm feeling irritable and weepy a lot and not awfully tolerant of noises and breastfeeding and so on.) and everything will be perfectly fine with using that name as soon as we find out it's a boy? Or maybe the wobble about the name is because it's not a boy?! ;) I will know tomorrow!!! Wheeee! So exciting!!
Most of all, I hope he or she is healthy. I always feel so nervous as the 20 week scan approaches, especially as I've had so many babies already. Totally irrational, I'm sure, but I tend to get the feeling that statistically, since I've already had so many healthy babies, maybe something will be wrong with this next one. This time my concern (paranoia?!) about it means that we're taking the digital voice recorder with us so that if something is wrong (it's just Neil and I going, all the boys are staying home with Heather) and we have to see a consultant right after the scan, I know I will want Heather to be there, and because she can't, at least I will be able to record the entire discussion and she can play it back without me having to remember all the important details, or emotionally exhaust myself dragging through everything that was said, and be up to date on everything. Crazy, I know. But it will set my mind at rest to take it with us.
Anyway, I hope I have a healthy little baby in there, and that he or she cooperates beautifully for the scan! I really want to be back with my boys without too much delay, and we've had one or two babies in the past who haven't been in a useful enough position for measuring important things like the heart, and we've ended up taking hours at the hospital walking around while the next couple of ladies get scanned, to try and encourage the baby into a better position! Also, I reeeeally hope it's not difficult to get a good clear view of the gender! :)
If the baby is a boy, I can't say for sure any more that his name will automatically be Toby Joseph, with how I've been feeling this week. I haven't had chance to talk to Neil about it, but if we find out that it's a boy tomorrow, I know we'll be able to talk it over then, and I'll update here with our thoughts on it when I share news and photos in my next entry. We shall see.
Other bits of news so that I don't forget: I weighed 10 stone exactly yesterday, 3lbs less than before the tummy bug, which feels like weeks ago now. I can't remember my initial weight at the beginning of the pregnancy, so I've no idea how much I've gained so far, but thankfully I DON'T CARE! ;)
My bump has had a growth spurt this week, and I look DEFINITELY pregnant now. I make a proper pregnant shape under a maternity dress, which is nice! :) I had a sudden urge for glittery nails this week so have painted my toenails with the same sparkly stuff that I bought to go into labour with Elijah! I put the same on my fingernails too, which I don't think I have done since I was a really little girl and my mummy painted my nails for me one time. I have been a terribly heavy-duty nail-biter since early childhood, and the only time I ever manage to grow my nails is when I'm pregnant and morning sick, lol! I can't stand to put my fingers anywhere near my mouth when I'm morning sick, so my nails grow well for months. Right now I think I am back out of morning sickness - I can finally eat things with onions in without paying for it with nausea, and generally feel fine, but I do get a bit queasy when I go to bite my fingers/nails, so maybe it's juuuuust hanging in there a bit. Anyway, bonus - lovely looking strong nails! They are very strong this pregnancy - I can open tin cans with just my nail and the ring pull! :) So I smile every time I look at my hands and see the light catch the glitter on my nails. I am truly girly at heart! :)
Baby is kicking about quite a lot now, and it's easy to feel with my hand. I am LOVING it! :) I'm noticing Braxton Hicks contractions quite a lot as well now, sometimes distracting with the squeezy uncomfy feeling, but usually just a mild sensation. More if I'm dehydrated at all, or if I do too much physically (already!). The back of my pelvis hurts from taking the boys out to the park and pushing the tandem pushchair (with a helper!) yesterday, which isn't brilliant at 20 weeks, but oh well! Such is life, and I'm grateful that I recover between pregnancies. My friend with 6 children who we visit sometimes, has constant pelvic/SPD issues even between pregnancies, and her babies are spaced 2 years apart. :( So I'm glad to have some recovery between my pregnancies.
Okay it's late, and I need to get to bed! I can't think of anything else. No cravings to note, no particular food aversions or preferences. Very run-of-the-mill, lol!
I will update tomorrroooowwwww, yay!!!! :D