My nausea is easing. At first I wasn't concerned about that, I mean, I'm still nauseous. But this is the 4th or 5th day that it's definitely not "bowl-worthy". At first I thought I was just doing a really good job "managing" it more efficiently, having learnt my strengths and weaknesses for this particular pregnancy (which happens around a couple of weeks after it kicks in, usually) - what to eat, what not to eat, when to eat, what subtle signals to recognise and IMMEDIATELY respond to, and in what way, etc. Those things help a bit, either in somewhat easing the symptoms, or at least if that doesn't work they might help the symptoms not continue spiralling any worse.
But hmmm. The evenings are okay. I can eat, and it doesn't take me all evening to pick through a plateful of a quarter of a portion of food that I can barely look at, with endless pauses to pace about hoping I keep what I just ate down. I am forgetting I felt like that - that's how much better it is, and now that I'm noticing the difference it's starting to unnerve me just a little. I would expect this, HOPE for this around the 12 week mark, but at 7 weeks? Hmmm.
The spotting continues, without any days in between now, and yesterday was the heaviest day of spotting so far. It's still only brown, which is old blood, and that is a VERY reassuring sign, I know. But... I am feeling uncomfortable and crampy pretty much all the time. I feel heavy and achy low in the pit of my abdomen, and am aware of "leaky" sensations a lot through the day, and as much as I strive to ignore it and feel confident that it's nothing to worry about (probably), it still does start to just nag at the back of my mind a little, especially with the nausea easing up so much. I am reassured that when I don't eat for a couple of hours, the queasiness that's always present ramps up to really yucky nausea and I can't think of any food to eat because it all makes me feel too horrible. So that's good, then.
Heather reminded me of the contact I had (through her) last pregnancy - the head of community midwifery at the hospital (her title now is Clinical Midwifery Manager, which is a very high-up position at our large local hospital), who - if you remember - made all the consultants go away and ended up coming out to my house and delivering Elijah in the end! :) She's lovely, and a very good friend of Heather's. I contacted her to self-refer this time around, and Heather suggested I call her again since I was getting nowhere with trying to get an early scan without having a GP referral. I had her extension number and also her bleep number, and felt really awkward bleeping her incase she was in the middle of an important meeting (!!) but Heather said she knew she wouldn't mind. And she didn't! :) She said, "Leave it with me, honey, I'll see what I can do!" And voila, a lady who I don't know called me the next day apologising for the delay, and telling me a scan has been arranged for me on Friday this week!! Wow. I am so grateful for wonderful contacts. Such a blessing! :)
So at least I have that to look forward to. I hope everything will be fine. I hope it's just another subchorionic haemmorrhage, like all the other bleeds have been over the years. That would make sense, and if so I am just grateful that I haven't had a heavy red bleed, since that's the usual symptom of one. Sometimes I've had a big bleed that has just "sat" in there and reabsorbed, and I've lost a little of it as brown bleeding or spotting over weeks and weeks. I think I prefer that to suddenly having loads of red bleeding - that's so scary. I hope it's just that, and not that I've lost a twin or something, and that's the reason for the drop in severity of nausea. If I have, I hope that I will see evidence at the scan. I would prefer that than to never know.
Heather is still wanting the scan to confirm either the presence of twins or a singleton. My womb is really palpable, even when I'm sitting up, and I'm wondering perhaps if the achy discomfort might be to do with it being a bit squashed where it is, like I usually have around the 10-12 week mark. But it could just be because my womb is irritated by the bleeding - I have had plenty of experience of that too. It could easily just be that. Friday is less than a week away now, but it feels like a while to wait, even so. I'm nervous, but not scared. I will be going on my own, as usual, because Neil has to stay home to look after the boys. He will take the morning off work for it, though I am not sure his boss will be thrilled. We don't have anyone else who can watch them for us. Heather was going to come with me to my scan but she is being a doula for someone who is having to have a planned caesarean on Thursday, so she'll be away on Friday too.
I want to post the photos of the boys that I used to announce my pregnancy on Facebook, but I might have to do that another time. Everyone has been so nice so far! One lady from the church we used to go to only mentioned the fact that we need to move house, etc, but I asked her if that was code for 'congratulations' which I think got the point across! ;) She congratulated us then! I told a lady at church today that I'm expecting another baby, and she was thrilled and said she would pray that we find somewhere to move soon, so that was nice and positive, and I enjoyed it. :) It's a shame there has to be any caution in approaching people with such wonderous news, that they might not be 100% nice in response... But so far, so good! I haven't approached my grandparents yet, but I plan to do so with a cheerful photocard, congratulating them on their upcoming 10th great-grandchild! ;)
I still haven't taken a belly pic. Must do that soon!
What else, quickly? I have been feeling quite faint or dizzy sometimes, lately. This morning and church I felt so weak and exhausted and faint and weird. Things looked too white and I got worried for a while that I'd have a "moment" or something with a baby in my arms! :S But I didn't, and Elijah fell asleep on my tummy for basically the whole service, and I felt quite a lot better by the end. The children came in early from their groups and handed out potted flowering plants to all the ladies (it's Mothering Sunday (mother's day) today in the UK), and that was lovely! I am such a very very blessed mummy, and so thankful for all my blessings! :)
