6 weeks, 1 day

Definitely my worst morning sickness yet. Not being sick, but have a bowl upstairs and a bowl downstairs, and very nervous about the prospect of needing them. Can not possibly feel more like being sick without actually being sick, and yet it's ALL. THE. TIME. from opening my eyes in the morning to losing consciousness late at night. Have been panicking about it a bit the last couple of mornings, but I have still made it through the day "intact". It's desperate though, getting through the day. Each day feels like several - three or four at least, because every morning I genuinely can't get my head around the fact that I am still only one more day pregnant than I was 3 days ago when I last checked. It actually feels like that! I can't BELIEVE I am only 6 weeks and ONE day pregnant, and it's so discouraging because the last 3 days have been, "I can't do this, I just CAN'T, I'll never make it through the day!" To get through it and have the reassurance that a week has passed would have made it bearable, but it's just the day of turning 6 weeks, the day before it, and the day after. Urrrggghhh...

I absolutely do not know how vomiting mamas ever make it through a day, let alone hundreds of them! :S

On a more positive note (I am still overjoyed to actually be pregnant!), I am having a little bit of fun with announcing my pregnancy at Facebook. I am not sure exactly how yet, but I am enjoying figuring out little clues to drop! If you are friends with me there, please don't comment on them - well, in such a way as to attract attention to them. I'm sure they'll be too obvious to last long, but I'm having fun anyway. Yesterday I posted a funny picture of a mummy dog with 7 little puppies all standing to attention around her. Deborah pointed out (in a private message) that there's an 8th one in there, which made me slightly nervous, lol! Heather still thinks the morning sickness might point to twins, even though it's not as bad as all that. It's worse than my norm, is all.

Today I randomly mentioned something about wanting the boys to be in bed at 7. ;) Everything relates to 7, well, most of them. I know, subtle as a sledgehammer, but like I say, I'm having fun! :) I am wondering about doing 7 days of clues (by which time we plan to have told the boys - I am struggling to hide my symptoms from them, and so far am riding it on the coldy virus I'm recovering from - not letting them know it's nausea I'm dealing with, just the fact that I don't feel well), and then a photographic announcement of some sort (I'm wondering about photos of the boys in some way... I'll post here too, when I have it sorted!) and then a video of the boys' reactions when we tell them. I'm so desperate to avoid the lovely moment of telling them having to be in the form of reassurance because Mummy has just thrown up. :S The sooner we can tell them, the better, but today I had the Health Visitor round for Samuel's 2-year check (went great!) and tomorrow we have a final visit from a social worker so they can write up their report, which apparently WILL confirm that we are great parents to lovely children who they have no concerns over. Phew. Still can't breathe easy yet, and I absolutely do not want them to know about the pregnancy at this stage, so we can't risk one of the children spilling the beans by accident. Today was fine, but I was very nervous about staying well enough through the appointment to not raise suspicion. I am really nervous about that tomorrow as well. We have 4 children to take for vaccinations, 2 hours before the SW visits us. Bleurgh. No idea how I'll get through that. Neil is home in the afternoon for that visit, so he is going to help with the vaccination appointments as well.

Okay, feeling too sick to write any more, and am going to try to eat something to take the edge off it (hopefully) so that I am able to brush my teeth, and then go to bed. Elijah has been very unsettled during the evenings this week so far, and awake and crying in arms until 10 or 11pm. Very tiring. He looks like he might get his 5th tooth soonish, so maybe it's that?

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